Sunday, April 12, 2015

Knot News: Gulf of Mexico to be Renamed Gulf of America

This is a Knot News Update!

Congress has come under fire lately for their inability to pass meaningful legislature, but that may soon change.  Both the House and Senate have recently passed a bill to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America.  The bill has been widely touted as a means of dealing with illegal immigration from Mexico.  However, just how changing the name of a body of water will effect immigration remains unknown.

"I mean sure, we should probably have discussed immigration reform and talk about making it easier for immigrants to get into our great nation.  In fact, most Americans would probably have gotten behind something like that.  Of course, if they wanted that sort of thing those SOBs shouldn't have elected people like me, now should they?" states Speaker of the House John Boehner. 

The Gulf of Mexico touches more nations than just America, and as such this bill could have international ramifications.  Knot News reached out to other nations to get their opinions on this most pressing matter.

"America.  What can you do, eh?" remarks Canada.

"Oh, I say, I do say.  Americans are always pulling such silly and short sighted schemes as this," states the United Kingdom.

"Mexicans?  They should have been passing legislation to deal with the gays!" declares Russia.

"Allahu Akbar!" adds Saudi Arabia and Iran.  

"Poland can into space!" says...well, just guess.  

While it is always important to get an international perspective, we at Knot News view it as equally important to give the people of America a voice in their new.  Or rather, in our news.  With that in mind we asked several average, hard working Americans what they had to say about the pending legislation. 

"Gulf of Mexico?  That's near Canada, right?"

"You want fries with that?"

"Damn Kenyan Socialist!  They all taken our money and....wait, Republicans sponsored the bill?  Oh, nevermind. You have fun with that!"  

"Frankly, who cares man?"

"Its just a bunch of water."

Wow, seriously?  Nobody gives a damn?  Well, in any event, the bill will potentially be signed into law on Monday of next week.  The President has yet comment on if he plans to veto the bill or not.  Knot News will keep you covered on this developing story.

Seriously, though.  You people riot over Pluto becoming a dwarf planet, but you let this slide?  You care more about a ball of rock and ice millions of miles away more than you do the frikin Gulf of Mexico?!  What is the world coming to?

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