It
all started on whim more than anything else. It started on a whim, but it became
a wildly popular, and much beloved, recurring series. It seems like it was only
yesterday that I was reviewing short story audio fiction for The Alternate
History Weekly Update. Now, at long last, it has come home. And what more
fitting place to call home than a blog called The Audiophile?
Okay,
I'm starting to ramble here. As I previously announced, I'm reviving my old
audio fiction review column The Audio File. I'm splitting it into two halves,
one for alternate history and one for all other genres. With that in mind, I
welcome you to the inaugural installment of The Alt-Hist File. The Audio File
is being reserved for all the other great, and occasionally not so great, stories
that I review. I like to use to use The Alt-Hist File to shine a spotlight on
the individual podcasts that I feature. With that in mind, let's meet today's
podcast.
Today
we're talking about Escape Pod. Founded in 2005 by Serah (formerly Steve) Eley,
as a way of showcasing some of the best talent in the field of science fiction.
At the time, it wasn't known how long Escape Pod would last. Twelve years and
over 500 episodes later, as of this writing, Escape Pod is stronger than ever
and more successful than Eley could ever have imagined. Escape Pod's success
helped prove the viability of online short story podcast magazines and led to
the creation of two other Escape Artists podcasts: Pseudopod for horror and
PodCastle for fantasy. In time, the Escape Artists family of podcasts adopted
the young adult podcast Cast of Wonders, and started the Mothership Zeta
E-zine. We'll talk more about the other members of the Escape Artist family in
future posts.
Over
the years, Escape Pod has featured numerous host including Mur Lafferty, Norm
Sherman, Alasdair Stuart, Tina Connolly, Adam Pracht and Divya Breed. There's
also numerous hardworking people toiling away behind the scenes. I don't have
time to name you all, but know that you are appreciated, and we couldn't have
the Escape Artists podcasts without you. They’ve featured narrators from all
walks of life, both professional and amateur. The intro and outro music,
provided by monster surf rock band Daikaiju, is another of those little
personal touches I adore.
Originally,
the text of the stories themselves wasn't included, but after a certain point
that changed. As much of a fan as I am, even I can't tell you when exactly that
was, but suffice it to say the more recent the story the more likely it is the
text will be included on the website. In
any event, many Escape Pod stories were originally published elsewhere, but
just as many, if not more, are totally original to Escape Pod. If they don't
have the text they will usually link to it.
Now
that we've shined a spotlight on Escape Pod, let's move to the stories.
Remember, these stories are released on a Creative Commons, attribution,
non-commercial, no derivatives license; feel free to share them all you like,
just don't change or sell them. Now, get ready, because it's story time...
"Joe Steele" by Harry Turtledove
Narrated
by Serah Eley
Originally
published in Stars: Original Stories Based on the Songs of Janis Ian
Those
of you familiar with Harry Turtledove's work have probably heard of this one,
but it's still worth going over. The
basic premise is the Joseph Stalin's parents immigrated to the United States
during the 19th century, and Stalin grew up in Fresno, California. Stalin eventually takes the more American
name Joe Steele and is later elected president via some shady dealings. This being Stalin, however, means that the
next few decades aren't exactly sunshine and lollipops.
Now,
the plausibility hounds in the audience are probably complaining that Stalin
ought to have a different worldview if he was raised in America. To be sure
that's probably true, but Steele still needed to act recognizably like Stalin
or else we have no story. Stalin or not, the Depression was a rough time, and I
can easily see the conditions giving rise to an extremist movement. Especially if FDR were out of the picture, as
he is in the short story.
As
for the writing, it has a very 1940s newsreel quality to it, and Serah does a
really good job of conveying that feeling. All in all this was a very fun
story, and as a bonus you get to hear the song that inspired this story,
"God & The FBI", in its entirety right after the episode.
"Good Hunting" by Ken Liu
Narrated
by John Chu
Originally
published in Strange Horizons
There
are not nearly enough words to describe how much I love Ken Liu. Every story he
makes is a masterfully crafted work of art.
He knows just how to tug on your heartstrings, make you connect with his
characters, leave you wanting more and so many other things. Seriously, people
are always talking about who's going to be the next big thing in speculative
fiction; well behold the next big thing people.
Need proof? This is a man who has
won pretty much every major science fiction and fantasy award, and he's only
been seriously writing since about 2009.
Okay,
enough gushing, onto the story. "Good Hunting" takes place during and
in the years following the Opium Wars, but a steampunk version of the war. There's also magic in this alternate China
featuring everything from hopping ghosts, spirits and huli jing (Chinese fox
spirits that take the form of beautiful women).
Our story follows a young ghost hunter and a huli jing as they watch the
world around them change with the coming of British colonization. Besides the usual troubles that come with
colonization there's an added issue; the British have built a railway right on
top of a qi vein, and this is having extremely negative consequences on the
supernatural world.
One
of the things I love about Ken's work is that no matter what story he writes I
always learn something new. In this case I got to learn what huli jing are, and
as a lover of mythology and folklore that was a big plus. I also appreciated
how Ken didn't pull any punches with his depiction of colonialism and the
darker side of steampunk. You could easily see the blocked qi vein, and the
impact it has on the supernatural community, as a metaphor for the impact that
colonizers often have on native cultures. Throughout the story there's a
feeling of sadness for the passing of old traditions as new ways are forced
upon China.
However,
the story ultimately ends on an optimistic note. Without giving too much away I
can best summarize the ending like this: sometimes forces beyond our control
change our lives in major ways, and that means old traditions will die, but we
can adapt and keep those old ways alive in a new form. A bit of advice about
the narration; John Chu can seem a little...off, when you first hear his voice.
Give your ears a minute or so to get use to his narration voice and you'll find
he's the perfect man to convey Ken's story.
It
starts as a whimsical Chinese fairy tale and ends as a gritty steampunk. I couldn't recommend it more.
"Soft Currency" by Seth Gordon
Narrated
by Melissa Bugaj
An
Escape Pod Original
This
story takes place in an alternate 1970s America in which men and women use
separate money. Men use dollars and coins while women use coupons and stamps
(they come in the same denominations as dollars and coins). For the sake of time, the cliff notes version
is that this was started after World War II to help returning GIs regain their
old jobs; if you want the full history you'll have to listen to/read the short
story. Certain businesses only take
dollars while other only take coupons; the system is partially justified by
claiming that men and women buy different things. Unfortunately, the exchange
rate is not 1:1 and often favors the dollar more than the coupon. As such many illegal currency exchanges have
popped up over the years. Our protagonist Cassie, a clerk at a coupon only
grocery store, find herself drawn into such an operation.
Part
of the reason I've been reposting my old reviews is because, with the passage
of time, my views on certain stories have changed. Some stories seem even
better and more resonant. For other stories, such as this one, well...time has
not been so kind. Now, having gained some perspective, I can no longer recommend
this story.
I'll
be blunt, this story is a painfully obvious allegory for the myth of the Gender
Wage Gap. For those who don't know, that's the claim that women only make $0.75
for every dollar men make. Problem is, that's actually the average earnings of
men and women. It's doesn't take into account hours worked, different jobs or
different positions. Moreover, since 1963 it has been illegal, in
the United States, to pay men and women different wages for the same work.
In light of this, the story falls flat on its face. That's one of
the problems I have with fiction that actively tries to convey a social/political
message. Not only do a lot of them focus too much on preaching, at the expense
of story telling, but often times they inadvertently spread misinformation.
That's not to say message fic can't be done well, but make sure you
have your facts straight.
A
failed attempt at social commentary. Don't waste your time
with this one.
"Southpaw"
by Bruce McAllister
Narrated
by Brian Liberman
Originally
published in Asimov's Science Fiction
The
myth that Fidel Castro was given the chance to play baseball for the New York
Giants has long been discredited. Suppose, however, that not only was he given
the chance, but that he'd said yes. In this story that's exactly what happens.
Castro plays for the New York Giants and has a wonderful girlfriend named
Nancy. Life seems good, but Cuba is on his mind so much lately, especially once
he begins having visions of a strange world where he, not Batista, is the
leader of Cuba.
For
those of you concerned about the plausibly of this story, the author himself
admits that he's fully aware Castro never got a chance to play baseball for
America. Nevertheless, he thought it would make an interesting story.
Admittedly I'm not much of a sports person, but I feel like this story is
written well enough to be enjoyed even if sports isn't your thing. At the risk
of sounding like a broken record, I thought the narrator did an excellent job.
What can I say? Escape Pod knows how to
pick narrators.
Without
giving away too much I can say that there was a bit of this story that reminded
me of The Man in the High Castle and I enjoyed that. I also appreciated how
Castro was depicted as a very human character.
He knows just how lucky he is to have risen through the ranks of
society, and he's keenly aware of how much suffering his fellow Cuban are going
through. At the same time, there's no clear answer for fixing this problem.
For
a look at a different side of Fidel Castro I'd recommend giving this story a
try.
"The Eckener Alternative" by James L. Cambias
Narrated
by Mur Lafferty
Originally
published in All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories
This
story's a little different than the ones we've talked about. It's not initially
set in an alternate history, but follows someone's attempt to make one. Our
protagonist, John Cavalli, is a student at a university for training time
travelers. He's also a lover of airships and is determined to save them from
dying out. After a few failed attempts to change history his path becomes
clear. He's going to prevent World War II from ever happening, but is that
really such a good idea?
Admittedly
this story was more action than dialogue, but since it features a male
protagonist I initially wasn't sure if Mur was going to be the right fit for
this story. All things considered, I think Mur handled the narration of this
story excellently. The story itself made some pretty good observations such as
why airships, cool as they are, were ultimately replaced by airplanes.
There
this scene in the cafeteria I found particularly amusing. The students are all
talking about what they'd go back in time and change. You get the standard
answer: stop Cortez, save Lincoln, but then there's the guy wanted to give
machine guns to the Confederates. It appears Harry Turtledove will still be
read even after we invent time travel.
This
one was short, sweet and to the point. I recommend it.
"The '76 Goldwater Dime" by John Medaille
Narrated
by Norm Sherman
Originally
published in Residential Aliens
Okay,
this one might not exactly be alternate history per say, but it's still pretty
fun. Our protagonist is a numismatist trying to convince someone that he has
come into possession of coins from alternate universes. Instead of the usual presidents,
these coins depict figures such as Barry Goldwater, Benedict Arnold and Eugene
V. Debs.
Norm
absolutely nailed it with his performance of the crazed coin collector; if you
think this is good you should see him in his native habitat over at the Drabblecast. I also like how the story is presented in the
form of a conversion, but we never hear the other person, just the narrator's
reactions and remarks. It was fun imagining the kinds of world's these coins might
have come from.
All
in all a very fun little story. Definitely worth checking out.
"Why I left Harry's All-Night Hamburgers" by Lawrence Watt-Evens
Narrated
by Jonathon Hawkins
Winner
of the Hugo Award for Best Short Story
In this story, our protagonist gets a job at a hamburger
joint in West Virginia, but this isn't just any hamburger joint. Harry's
All-Night Hamburgers serves as a hub for travelers from different alternate
universes; it seems West Virginia is always out of the way and unassuming no
matter what the universe. Our protagonist soon faces a choice; continue life as
it is, or travel to new and exotic universes, but risk never seeing this one
again.
You're
probably expecting me to say I liked the narrator at this point. Well...you'd
be absolute correct. As for the story
itself, I enjoyed getting to see glimpse of the different worlds and letting my
imagination fill in the blanks. I was mildly amused at how one of the character
came from a world that sounded rather similar to the plot of Bioshock: Infinite, but keep in mind this story was written well before Bioshock:
Infinite came out. I also enjoyed the advice the protagonist received on how to
resolve his dilemma. I'm struggling to find the right words, but seriously this
is an excellent story.
Defiantly
earned its Hugo, and should probably earn your time as well.
"Homecoming at the Borderlands Cafe" by Carole McDonnell
Narrated
by Serah Eley
Originally
published in Jigsaw Nation
Well,
they can't all be winners. There had to be at least some rotten apples in this
bushel. Hey, at least this proves I can actually not like something and have a
negative opinion. First some background, Jigsaw Nation is a collection of short
stories with the central premise that around 2004, Red and Blue States (or in
some case, Red and Blue districts) became two separate nations. All the stories have their own take on the
how this happened and what the results were. Most of them are rather
interesting and though provoking, but this one...I was seriously considering
leaving it out altogether.
Okay,
I'll try my best to be as neutral possible. So the basic set up is that Red
States are known as the Confederacy and Blue States are called Columbia. I know what the author was trying to do here,
but Columbia as a name has already been taken. Anyway, our protagonist is a
Confederate cafe owner talking with some recent immigrants from Columbia. The
couple is mixed race, but the Confederacy is a heavily segregated society, but
the narrator assures us it’s all separate but equal. I really hope that was in
character and not the author, herself a black woman, doing the talking.
So
why would a mixed race couple knowingly move to such a racist society? You see,
Columbia still allows Christianity, but has banned the Bible for being
homophobic. The authorities were also going to take the couple's child away if
they educated it with the Bible. No seriously, that's what the story says.
Look, if the premise is that things split in 2004 you're not going to get
anything like that without diving into strawman territory. It's a strait up
example of the Golden Means Fallacy/Balance Fallacy. Atheists (and I say this
as one myself) don't want to take away your Bibles, your kids or ban religion.
What we want is to be treated equally and we want everyone else to be treated
equally as well. We might not agree with what you say, but we'll fight to the
death for your right to say it.
Don’t
waste your time with this stinker. Pick one of the other stories I've featured.
"Punk Voyager" by Shaenon Garrity
Narrated
by Nathaniel Lee
An
Escape Pod Original
This
story is set during the 1980s and follows a group of punks. The punks are
bummed about the fact that the records on the Voyager Probes only contain
classical music. To combat this, they decide create their own probe loaded with
punk music. A few years later, some amoeba aliens arrive and...punch Ronald Reagan
in the crotch, turn out to be huge punk enthusiasts and...yeah, this one's kind
of crazy.
Personally,
I found this story enjoyable. It didn't take itself too seriously and overall
it was a pretty fun ride. That said, I can understand that this story's sense
of humor might not be for everyone. When I listened to this story, I was
reminded of those screwball comedies Hollywood constantly churns out. However,
if this story was turned into a movie, I like to think it would be a bit better
than most of those films.
In
terms of narrations, I thought that Nathaniel did an excellent job. A fun story
with hardly a single serious moment. I recommend it.
"The Color of a Brontosaurus" by Paul E. Martens
Narrated
by Serah Eley
Originally
Published in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine
This
story follows a paleontologist named Stu. He and his team have made a seemingly
impossible discovery: a perfectly preserved human femur in the same rock
stratum as an allosaurus fossil! This can only mean one thing: time travel is
going to be invented. Stu has always dreamed of seeing his beloved dinosaurs in
the flesh. It's a cause for celebration, yet his wife seems oddly blasé. Almost
as though she's hiding something.
When
I listened to this story, I was reminded of something Richard Dawkins once
said. Paraphrased, he said that if we were to find a rabbit skeleton in the
pre-Cambrian it would cause us to serious question the theory of evolution.
Now, personally, if that were to happen, I'd probably be a bit like Stu. That
is, I'd view it as concrete proof that time travel will be invented someday.
At
one point or another, every paleontology fan has dreamed of traveling through
time to see dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. I know that I've
experienced that desire on more than a few occasions. This story really spoke
to that feeling. I was able to spot the twists about halfway through the story,
but that didn't make it any less enjoyable.
As
for the narration, I thought that Serah did a great job. A fun little story
about time travel wanderlust. I couldn't recommend it more.
"Frankie and the Spook" by Mike Resnick
Narrated
by Serah Eley
Originally
Published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction
This
story follows a computer genius, and wannabe writer, named Marvin. He was
created a program/hologram that perfectly simulates the mind of Sir Francis
Bacon. In doing so he learns that Bacon, not Shakespeare, was the one who wrote
all of the plays. Hilarity ensues as the two, much to the Bacon simulacrum's
dismay, embark on a series of literary collaborations.
Okay,
so let's address the elephant in the room here. For those who don't know,
there's a series of conspiracy theories that Shakespeare didn't actually write
his plays. Popular candidates include Christopher Marlo and the Earl of Oxford.
First of all, plays were often a collaborative effort. Second, many of
Shakespeare's plays drew inspiration from preexisting poems and stories.
Finally, there's simply too much evidence that Shakespeare was, in fact, the
author of his plays. Though, obviously, it would take too much time to list
them all here.
Now,
with all of that in mind, I don't think that this story was meant to entertain
the authorship conspiracy theory. It has a very laid back feel and doesn't take
itself seriously. In fact, I don't think there was a single serious line of
text in the whole story. As a comedic farce, it more than succeeds. It's one of
those stories were the smart guys has to work, against his will, with a
complete bumbling idiot. Also, there is a scene where the two collaborate to
write an alternate history novel.
Once
again, Serah knock it out of the park with the narration. A fun, if slightly
controversial story. I recommend it.
"A Gun for Dinosaur" by L. Sprague de Camp
Narrated
by Ayoub Khote
Originally
Published in Galaxy Science Fiction
This
story follows a pair of time travel tour guides as they prepare to take some
guests on a dinosaur safari. While they wait for things to be set up they
relate the story of a previous, and rather disastrous, dinosaur safari they
conducted.
Don't
get me wrong, overall this is a fairly fun story. It's a fun story, but it
definitely shows its age. Many of the dinosaurs are depicted as slow, lumbering
giants. These days, we know that dinosaurs were probably fairly active. There's
also mention of some dinosaurs having second brains to help them move their
large bodies. I can remember hearing this hypothesis when I was growing up in
the 1990s, but it's since been disproved. One of the hazards the characters
encounter is giant leeches that feed on the dinos. Again, most likely leeches
of this size didn't actually exist.
I
know it seems kind of negative, but I'm a paleontology nerd. These things stick
out to me. If you can ignore the dated science, it's still actually a
reasonably enjoyable story. For what it's worth, I thought that Ayoub handled
the narration well.
It's
reasonably enjoyable, even if the science is rather dated. I say give it a
shot.
"Prophet of Dogs" by Bethany Edwards
Narrated
by George Hrab
An
Escape Pod Original
This
story follows an average guy who works for community arts magazine. He always
takes his cigarette breaks at a small park next to his office. He's been
noticing a girl preaching doom and gloom. On a whim, he decides to talk to her.
It turns out that she's a time traveler from the future, and she's here to witness
an alien invasion that is about to happen.
There
a central moral dilemma at the heart of this story: if you know something bad
is about to happen, but you can only save one person, would you? Perhaps a
better question, as the story itself concedes is, would that person even want
to be saved?
One
point I thought was particularly well done is when the protagonist and the time
traveler discuss future events. Apparently, 9/11 is considered merely a
footnote by future historians. There plenty of events that hold significance to
us because we have an emotional connection to them. For future, generations,
however, they'll just be a topic they learn about in history class. More
cynically, there's always the possibility that something worse will happen at
some point or another.
In
terms of narration, I thought that Greg did a good job. A story that's sure to
have you thinking for quite some time. It's also one I recommend.
"Parallel Moons" by Mario Milosevic
Narrated
by Bill Bowman
Originally
Published in Space and Time Magazine
This
story is a three-for-one special. In the first story, a group of alien
spaceships have encircled the Moon and are towing it away. In the second story,
a group of nerds are petitioning to have the Moon reclassified as a planet. In
the final story, a reporter is conducting an interview with a reclusive
millionaire who is funding a project to blot out the Moon's reflective light.
Strictly
speaking, I'm not sure that these stories count as alternate history. However,
they do depict three different timelines and three very different fates for the
Moon. That is good enough for my purposes. Also, thought they are three
separate stories, they are tied together by the theme of the Moon being taken
away from us somehow.
I
enjoyed the structure of this story. It reminded me of Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, a book that I am very fond of. The
way that the three stories, though seemly separate, were connected by a common
theme, plenty reminded me of the novel. Each of the stories themselves were
well done. The first story gives a sense of how small humanity is in
relationship to the universe. We don't know who the aliens are, or why they
want the Moon, and humanity is powerless to stop them.
The
second story actually has parallels to debates that are going on in the
astronomical community. There actually is some debate about whether the Moon
should be considered a planet because of its size. Though, within the story,
the nerds are motivated by their desire to preserve artifacts from the Apollo
missions. This put them in sharp contrast with the subject of the final story,
millionaire Richard Mollene. He claims to be covering the Moon in ash because
it reminds him of his deceased wife. However, given how smug, self-center and
egotistical he comes off as, I'm inclined to think he did it just because he
could.
You
get three complete stories, and none of them feel out of place. To the
contrary, they all complement each other quite nicely. This story requires a
narrator who can juggle three different, yet connected, stories. Thankfully,
Bill is the narrator this story needs.
Three
stories for the price of one, all of them excellent. You won't want to miss
this one.
"The Snow Woman's Daughter" by Eugie Foster
Narrated
by Cunning Minx
Originally
Published in Cricket Magazine
This
story is set in Ancient Japan. It follows a young girl whose mother is a
yuki-onna. Her mother has come to visit and invite the girl to live with her in
the mountains as an immortal. It's a tempting offer, but the girl feels
connected to the village she's grown up in. In particular, she rather fancies
her neighbor boy Roku. What shall she choose?
I
do love retellings of folktales and mythology. For those who don't know,
yuki-onna are mythical creature from Japanese mythology. They are beautiful
women with powers of snow and ice. They appear during snow storms and, depending
on which legend you read, either guide travelers to safety or lure them to
their death and suck out their heat. There's not too much to really say, it's
short, sweet and satisfying.
Now,
this story actually has a bit of a special place in the history of the Escape
Artists podcasts. Not too long after this story was released, PodCastle
premiered. One of those critical moments in the history of the Escape Artists
captured in amber for all time. Getting back to the story, I thought that
Cunning Minx really capture the emotional heart of the story.
It's
short, perhaps a bit familiar, but ultimately quite satisfying. I say give it a
try.
"The Battaile of the Mudde" by Anthony Tardiff
Narrated
by J.J. Campanella
An
Escape Pod Original
This
story follows two teenage boys named Vincent and Dave. Vincent is a social
awkward genius inventor, while Dave is his best friend who tries his best to
keep Vincent out of trouble. Vincent is trying to impress a girl he likes named
Melissa. She's taking part in a school play set in medieval times, so Vincent
has built a time machine to get a dress for Melissa. Unfortunately, due to a
miscalculation, his machine transports a medieval girl named Katherine along
with the dress. Soon a zany misadventure ensues as the boys try to keep Melissa
out of the loop, while trying to get the dress from Katherine.
We've
got another story that is pure and unabashed fun. One particular funny part is
when Vincent makes a translator for Katherine, since she speaks Middle English.
However, since one of the sources he uses is a dictionary of slang, the
resulting translations are usually rather humorous. I enjoyed Dave's snarky
asides and commentary on everything. It really is an all around good time, and
J.J. did an excellent job with the narration.
If
I did have one criticism, it would be the host segment. I really could have
done without Adam Pracht's political soapboxing. Now look, I understand that
everyone at Escape Artists had strong feelings about the election. However, I
also expect a certain degree of professionalism. We listeners come to Escape
Pod to experience some of the best science fiction week after week. Treat this
as you would any other job, and check your personal issues at the door.
Besides, in these chaotic times, don't we all need a little escapism every now
and again?
Now,
on a related note, I understand that the Escape Artists have been increasing
their push for diversity lately. That's is all very well and good, there's all
sorts of great stories out their, penned by people from all walks of life.
However, I would hope that you welcome authors who think differently than you,
in addition to authors who look different than you. I guess what I'm trying to
say is, promoting diversity of skin tone and sexuality mean nothing without
promoting diversity of thought as well.
I
didn't mean the above as a response to anything in particular. I just wanted to
add a bit of food for thought, and I'm sorry if I came across as harsher than I
meant to be. I have seen all of the Escape Artists podcasts do amazing things,
and want to continue to see them be the best that they can be. I've seen you
fly, and I know you can soar. Now then, allow me to wrap up this review.
A
fun story about time traveling shenanigans, just be sure to skip the outro.
Conclusion
I
don't want to end on too sour of a note. Sometimes, when I finish these lists,
I like to take a moment to reflect on all the great stories that I’ve featured.
I invite you to take a moment of reflection as well. This is just the start of
the amazing journey through free audio fiction I’m going to take you guys on. I
hope you enjoyed these sampling and give them a try. And hey, these as just the
alternate history related stories, there's hundreds of other amazing stories
just waiting to be listened to as well. Remember, if you like what you hear
don't be shy about dropping a donation, Escape Pod is funded by its fans.
There's so many great stories at Escape Pod, I've had to split this edition of the Alt-His File. Stay tuned for part 2 of our look at Escape Pod. Well,
that enough from me for now. I will see you guys next time.
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