For the glory of Rome! Bad Gladiator follows a young
aspiring gladiator named Atticus. He's got high hopes, but pretty much no
talent. Thankfully, he's just started at the Roman Empire's worst gladiatorial
arena. It is owned by a patrician woman named Domitia, who hopes that the arena
will go bankrupt and she can move back to Rome. Unfortunately, Atticus soon
become a massive hit because of how hopeless he is. The story follows Atticus,
and the colorful cast of characters who run the arena, as they have wacky
adventures at the worst gladiator arena in the Roman Empire.
Like I said, the standards were met and exceeded by
Bad Gladiator. The episodes of the first season typically clock in at between
twelve to fifteen minutes. By season two, the episodes are closer to twenty
minutes, but that last few minutes are usually reserved for a brief word from
the cast and crew. This keep the episodes fresh and snappy, and ensures that
the jokes never overstay their welcome. Of course, this is also due very much
to the genuinely intelligent and witty writing. It's not a "wacky thing
every thirty seconds" sort of comedy. Bad Gladiator has the feeling of a sitcom in an
unusual setting. Sort of like The Flintstones, but with occasional swearing and
sex jokes. Fun fact, Hanna-Barbera did create a show called The Roman Holidays
that pretty much was The Flintstones in Ancient Rome, but it only lasted for
thirteen episodes.
There's plenty of fun little deliberate anachronisms throughout the show. For example, the Ancient Roman equivalent of Twitter is
literally sending messages on birds, and you send dick picks by panting and/or
carving frescoes. That one has a kernel of truth to it, given how shameless
Roman art could get. You'd even seen penises in places you wouldn't expect,
such as on the signs of bakeries. Though, that was because penises were
associated with fertility, as in fertile crops of grains used to make bread. So,
I wouldn't call this alternate history, at least not deliberately, but it
should appeal to alternate history fans. It is never clear when the show is
set, other than vaguely Ancient Rome. Of course, as stated, that's not really
of much importance, given the comical nature of the podcast.
One thing I love about that writing is that, though
historical accuracy obviously wasn't a priority, occasionally it does slip in
real facts about Ancient Rome. For example, the characters often mention
drinking wine flavored with lead, and that the water pipes are made of lead.
Both of these are indeed real things the Romans were known to do. Admittedly,
not as crazy as it might sound. Lead does have natural anti-bacterial
properties. The Ancient Egyptians used lead in their eyeliner, and that
contributed to them having good eyesight. Unfortunately, lead is also toxic to
humans, so you know, win some loss some.
Now let's talk about the characters. Many members of
the cast are professional actors who have appeared in shows such as Sleepy
Hollow, The Resident, The Detour, and Rectify. You may remember the writers of
Bad Gladiator from podcasts such as Bad Gladiator and Bad Gladiator. Yes,
that's a joke, but good on the writers for assembling such a talented
cast.
Atticus is our leading man. He's got high hopes, but
low talent. I mean, the dude fought a stingray that had no water, and the
stingray won. To be fair, some stingrays do have long and sharp barbs, and some
are venomous. He earns the title of Jaculator because he fights with a javelin.
It's a joke based on the Latin word for someone who fights with a javelin.
Atticus is played by Jim Hodgson, who delivers an earnest and endearing
performance. Jim is also one of the writers for the podcast. It might be fun to
watch...listen...you know what I mean. Let's try that again. It might be fun to
watch Atticus get beat up by animals, but he's endearing and sympathetic enough
that we want to see him succeed every now and again.
Domitia is the reluctant owner of the arena. She's
cynical, sarcastic, and almost comes across as a movie star past her prime. She
is voiced by Leanna Adams, who really nails the jaded wash-out sort of voice
and demeanor. Domitia constantly switches between hoping the arena will go out
of business, and trying to take advantage of various situations to make a quick
denarius. Denarius is the name for Roman coins, if you were wondering.
Domitia's daughter Claudia serves as Atticus' primary
love interest. She's generally nice and sweet, but she can certainly snark with
the best of them. She's voiced by Lauren Schmuck, who goes for the girl next
door feel. She dreams of one day becoming a gladiator herself, but Domitia
forces her to peruse more traditionally feminine activities, such as pottery
class. She's not much for clay pots, but makes lovely ceramic swords. She's not
immune to the slapstick, and is just as likely to have misfortune befall her as
the male characters are. Claudia does get her wish to be a gladiator in one episode
by switching clothes with Atticus, who finds he rather enjoys pottery.
Interestingly, there were at least some female gladiators in real life.
However, they were, for lack of a better term, publicity stunts. For example,
Emperor Commodus like to have women fight against midgets and dwarfs. Were the
midgets stacked on top of each other, or spread out individually? Well, you got
me there, the historical record is vague on that point.
Atticus also has something of a mentor in the form of
Magnus. Well, mentor is a strong word. Magnus is lazy, slovenly, lecherous, and
is one of the oldest gladiators at the arena. He's Domitia's on-again-off-again
boyfriend, and he likes to sleep in the sewers. Magnus is voiced by Rob Lawhon,
who really goes for a past-his- prime dirty old man sort of performance. Still,
a broken clock is right twice a day, and occasionally Magnus does pull through
and do something useful.
Starting with season two, we get an antagonist in the
form of the Piss Witch. Well, she prefers to be called the Pee-Pee Witch, but
everyone calls her the Piss Witch. She's one of Magnus' many ex-girlfriends,
and as her name suggest, she has power over all forms of urine. She is played
by Jaymi Curley, who is clearly having a blast portraying the Piss Witch as
hammily over-the-top evil.
I also love the arena's delightfully campy promoter,
and how he finds ways to charge the arena audience for pretty much everything,
including using the bathroom. In fact, he's more concern with that than
actually promoting the fights. His constantly hawking of merchandise might seem
like an anachronism, but that's more accurate than you might think. Real
gladiator arenas did indeed sell figurines of the gladiators, as well as
commemorative glass cups and other souvenirs. Also, the arena sells flamingo
tongues, which were indeed considered a delicacy in Ancient Rome.
Bad Gladiator has, as of this writing, two seasons
with a third on the way. It certainly sounds like they've got even more great
things in store for the future. I'm particularly intrigued by the hints that we
might get a musical episode. That sounds awesome, I'm totally down for
that.
Well, there you have it. Bad Gladiator is a smartly
written historical comedy about the Roman Empire's worst gladiator arena. It is
funny, entertaining, and I can't recommend it enough. Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight! Do yourself a favor and
check it out now, you'll be glad that you did.
Well, I think that's enough from me for now. I will
see you guys next time.
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