I Got to Write an Episode of The Twilight Histories

As I'm sure you know, I've been a huge fan of the Twilight Histories podcast for a long time now.  There really is nothing else like it, and I'm constantly amazing at the brave new worlds Jordan and the gang dream up.  I had, from time to time, fantasized about getting to write an episode or two of my own.  I fantasized, but I never considered it a serious possibility.  Then one day I saw a pig fly by, and then it began to rain malted milk balls.  And by all of I that, I mean, of course, that Jordan opened it the podcast to guest authors.

This was the chance I'd been waiting for.  And yet, I wasn't sure if could measure up to the standards of The Twilight Histories.  So, I tried to pitch a couple short stories I'd been shopping around.  However, a little encouragement from Jordan, I instead set out to write my very own Twilight Histories episode.  It would be set in a dieselpunk Aztec Empire.  I'd always had this image in my mind of an Aztec city, with dieselpunk style technology, at war against an equally dieselpunk Japan armed with robot samurai.  I'd also had little bits and pieces of ideas set in this Aztec inspired world. 

My task now was to string these mental movie clips into a cohesive narrative.  I removed any elements that were explicitly fantastical or supernatural, which wasn't too hard.  Hey, I still got to keep the robots and mechanical marvels.  Anyway, I got the first draft finished and...well, in hindsight, it was pretty terrible.  I laugh at it now, but when I read the feedback Jordan gave, I was half-afraid he was going to seriously reconsider our deal.  Still, I pressed on and went to work on the second draft.  I effectively had to start from scratch, but I think we can all agree that the end result was worth it. 

There were some delays in the production, but I never complained, and I was never ungrateful for all that Jordan was doing for me.  Then it finally happened.  Part 1 of "True Aztec" premiered and I finally got to here something I'd written given life in audio.  As a big fan of podcasts and audiobooks, it has been my goal to hear my fiction read and produced in audio form.  Preferably on my favorite fiction podcasts.  There was a bit of a wait, but then Part 2 arrived, and it wasn't long before Part 3 and Part 4 arrived.

 I managed tosell a story to The Centropic Oracle while Part 1 was in production.  As my story, called "Spelling Test", moved into production, Centropic Oracle would ask if I had any other publications I ought to list.  This meant I'd occasionally have to ask Jordan how production was going, and I always felt really bad about doing so.  He was already doing so much, I didn't want to sound ungrateful or unappreciative. 

"True Aztec" has, by all accounts, been warmly received by the listeners.  It always received lots of likes on the Twilight Histories' Facebook page, and lots of retweets and likes on Twitter.  I heard from listeners who couldn't wait for the next installments, and I had an especially lovely conversation from an adoring fan over on DeviantArt.  More than just that, my fellow Twilight Histories writers Josh Hutchins and Kevin Valbonesi gave "True Aztec" high marks, with Kevin even mentioning that he could wait for Part 4 after hearing Part 3.  That, perhaps more than anything, was a sign that I'd done a great job crafting the episode.  Of course, Jordan did help tidy it up a bit, and make it a bit more polished. 

Of course, the episode wouldn't exist without the excellent team of voice actors behind it.  "True Aztec" is the first Twilight Histories episode to feature a different narrator in each episode, and the first to feature female narrators.  "True Aztec" set all sorts of milestones for The Twilight Histories.  The narrators are, in order of appearance: Jason Wallace, Charlie Albers, Grainne Noel, and Daniel Cryer.  I also got snazzy episode art.  I don't know if it was Kevin or Jordan who made it, but either way, I love it.    

Originally, I wrote the story in third-person due to a miscommunication with Jordan.  He asked me to write like Josh Hutchin's episode "Dead Emperor" which is in first-person, but the email said third-person.  I figured he meant first-person, but wasn't sure if it was the other way round in Commonwealth English.  So, I named the protagonist Apollo Rhodes, with his Aztec name being Toltecatl.  There wasn't any real reason why I picked Apollo; I thought of the poet Apollonius of Rhodes, and thus we get a name.  As for Totecatl...well, seemed as good a name as any.  The episode was edited into a standard second-person narration, which is what I always wanted from the start, so I'm very pleased with it.  That said, you will occasionally see certain little hints and slips of the original script poke through in the finished episodes. 

Now that we've got the technical stuff out the way, let's talk a bit more about how I came up with the story for "True Aztec."  I've always loved the history of Pre-Columbian Mesoamerica, and of the Native Americans in general.  It has always irked me that the Aztecs tend to get reduced to bloodthirsty stock villains.  True, they practiced human sacrifice and other thing modern society finds objectionable, but they were much more than that.  They were one of the only societies with mandatory education for both men and women.  Those sacrificed got to live like kings in the year leading up to the sacrifice.  Let's also not forget how those sacrificed were believed to receive the best possible afterlife.  Heck, the Mesoamericans believed their sacrifices were necessary to keep the universe running.  Not saying there were never politically or military reasons behind it; but I am saying that it's more nuanced that most people give them credit for.

The point is, the Aztecs way too often get an undeserved bad reputation.  I wanted to make a story where the Aztecs got to be the heroes for a change.  The Aztec Empire was founded as an alliance between three tribes.  That's why it is often known as the Triple Alliance.  I basically took that idea of one nation made of many people, and expanded it into something akin to the melting pot thing we have in America and Canada.  Jingjing, Balam, Tupac, and the citizens of Shin Nihon might not be ethnically Mexica, but they are Aztecs in all the ways that count.  That's what Necalli never understood.  The Aztec Empire, in the world of "True Aztec", is not an ethnicity, it is an ideal.  So yes, all of the characters in "True Aztec" are Aztec regardless of their ethnicity or heritage.

So why is it that things diverge with the Tang Dynasty?  Well, from what I've researched, I determined that the An Lushan Rebellion was the point where China really began to decline in power.  I knew I wanted China to be allies with the Aztecs, and so I needed to keep them strong and outward looking.  It always wanted have East Asia and the Native Americans be the dominate economic, technological and cultural powers.  As such, I had to ensure that those pesky Europeans didn't screw-up my plans.  Originally, I intended Europe to get hit with an even worse Black Death, but the final script just has the, being a backwater because East Asia and the Aztec outclass the, technologically and economically.  I concede that having the Aztec and Inca being such powerhouses was rather unrealistic, but it was what I wanted for the story.  Plus, dieselpunk is inherently unrealistic.  I even acknowledge as much within the story.

I've always wondered what it would have been like had the Aztecs, Maya, and Inca hadn't been conquered by the Europeans.  What works of art and philosophy would they have created?  How would their societies have developed? 

So what about Japan?  Like I said, that was always a part of the original idea. I've noticed that, in a lot of the ideas for stories I have, I tend to use Imperial Japan, of some equivalent there of, as villains.  I'm not sure why this is.  I've always thought that the general public doesn't know enough about the war crimes of Imperial Japan.  Most of the stuff I had Minako say about here life in Hokkaido was based on things the Japanese did to the Ainu during World War II.  So, how did Japan become a major power in-story?  Well, originally they were allies and trading partners with the Chinese and Aztec.  So that's a how they got the tech that the Chinese and Aztec had.  They had done a bit of empires building, but the Chinese always tried to keep them in check.  However, things soured after the Caliphate War.  The Japanese felt they got snubbed and screwed over in the post-war negotiations, and turned against their former allies.  Out of universe, they became a major power because that's what I wanted for the story.

Also, I'm fully aware that the Aztec Empire was founded in the 15th Century, not the 10th.  That was the result of a miscommunication.  I never specified what year the Chinese made contact with the Aztecs, or what year the story was set in.  Thought I intended it to probably be a bit later than the 14th Century.  As such, Jordan had to figure the date based on the clues I left in the backstory, and I don't hold it against him.  Like I said, lack of communication and specification on my part.  Admittedly, it was kind of cool to think that the stories was happening in what was the Middle Ages in our world.  Well, this is alternate history, we can just say the Aztecs got founded earlier than in our world due to the butterfly effect and call it a day. 

A lot of the things I put into "True Aztec" are very much inspired by events from our world.  For example, the Pruners were inspired by the Society of the Righteous and Harmonious Fist, better known as the Boxers of China's Boxer Rebellion.  The Pruners want to revive human sacrifice and flower wars, but they are a fringe group, and don't represent the majority of the Aztecs.  I'd also like to emphasize that I've wanted to tell the story that became "True Aztec" for many years.  Those attempting to find commentary on modern politics will be shot.  Well, the scene where Nacalli tries to convince the crowd that Tupac poisoned the kids with vaccines was meant to be a swipe at those idiots who claim that vaccines lead to autism.  That's the only instance, however.  If you find anything else like that in "True Aztec" you're just seeing what you want to see. 

If there is a moral to "True Aztec" it can probably be summaries by what Emperor Montezuma says at the end.  Be good to you fellow humans, and appreciate the many strange and wonderful cultures and peoples that make up our world.  Obviously, this comes with the caveat that if a culture encourages oppression and suffering, such as Necalli and his goons, it's best left to the ash heap of history. 

"True Aztec" is a complete story, but I left little seeds that could possibly be expanded upon.  In hindsight, that was perhaps a tad cocky on my part.  I figured it would be a little something in case I ever got to write for Twilight Histories again; perhaps as a bonus episode.  The episode would follow Tupac's life in Cusco during the war between the Inca and the Japanese.  Well, as would be revealed, the Japanese didn't directly invade, they got one their allies to do that.  However, they did send troops on the pretense that they were protecting Japanese citizens within the Inca Empire.  Obviously, it would end with Tupac's wife and daughter getting killed, and him moving to Tenochtitlan.  We'd also get to see what Kaisa was like before she lost her leg.  All of this would be told within a frame story of the unnamed protagonist and his friends adjusting to life in post-invasion Tenochtitlan several months after the events of "True Aztec."  Obviously, there would be humorous moments where he explained how things went in our world, and them reacting with skepticism.

Perhaps someday I will write another Twilight Histories episode, but not any time too soon.  I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, or be ungrateful, or give Jordan Harbour a brain aneurysm.  Still, I do have a couple ideas kicking around should that day ever come. 

And what become of those more fantastical elements I had to remove from the story?  Oh, I saved them, and I'm in the process of adapting them into a comic book series that will be called The Calliope Brigade. Nice already got an artist, and we're in the very, very early stages of production.  I hope I will so be able to share the first issue with all of you.  I'm sure that, somewhere along the line, I'll be able to work in winks, nods, and references to The Twilight Histories. 

Things have really been looking up for The Twilight Histories lately.  It's been listed as one of Apple's Must Listen podcasts of 2019, is it one of the top 100 podcasts in Canada, and I got to be part of it.  The episodes continue both to live up to my expectations and to keep exceeding them.    

Well, I think that should be everything.  Go forth and enjoy my Twilight Histories episode "True Aztec" if you haven't done so already.  "True Aztec" Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.  It has been a long time coming, and I'm glad to finally have the chance to share it with all of you guys at last.  

The Alt-Hist File: StarShipSofa

In this edition of The Audio File we'll be talking about StarShipSofa. StarShipSofa is a science fiction podcast that is part of the District of Wonders podcast family, which also includes Far-Fetched Fables for fantasy. It used to include Crime City Central for crime and mystery, and Protecting Project Pulp, but they have since gone defunct. Tales to Terrify used to be part of District of Wonders, but they broke-off to be their own thing. 

StarShipSofa is primarily hosted by the ever jolly Tony C. Smith and includes many informative fact segments such as Look Back at Genre History with Amy H. Sturgis, Science News with JJ Campanella, Film Talk with Dennis M. Lane and much more. 

StarShipSofa has been going strong since 2006. They were the first podcast to ever win the Hugo Award, which they did in 2010. In fact, it was because of them that the Best Fancast category was created. They won for Best Fanzine, and the Best Fancast category was created so that a podcast wouldn't win in Best Fanzine again. Personally, I find that to be like closing the barn door after the horse has gotten out and won the Kentucky Derby, but I digress. 

Certain episodes from early in the podcast's run are referred to as Aural Delights, but it is very much part of StarShipSofa. Anyway, enough intro, onto the stories. Everyone has a story aboard StarShipSofa. Let's go find some...

"Raft of the Titanic" by James Morrow
Narrated by Peter Seaton-Clark
Originally Published in The Mammoth Book of Alternate History 

In our world many passenger aboard the Titanic died due to the lack of lifeboats. In this story, however, after the iceberg was struck a great raft was created to save all the passengers. Eventually the passengers go on to establish a near utopian society aboard the ever expanding raft. With such a perfect society will any of the passengers ever want to leave?

With stories based around events like the Titanic or the Hindenburg you usually have to resort to fantastical means when writing alternate history. In this case, however, we got a somewhat realistic alternate history of the Titanic. I say somewhat because things do go a bit idealistically aboard the raft. The biggest issue I can think of is that, besides rain, there didn't really seem to be any source of fresh drinking water on the raft. Nonetheless, overall I found this story quite enjoyable.

This story is a great example of oceanpunk. What is oceanpunk? Oceanpunk is a punk set primarily at sea or on a world primarily covered by water. Waterworld and One Pieceare good examples of oceanpunk. In other matters, I enjoyed how the story was told as a series of letters. I also thought that Peter did a great job with the narration.

An alternate history of the Titanic with an oceanpunk twist. Very much recommended.

"Escape From New Austin" by Paul Di Filippo
Narrated by Amy H. Sturgis 
Originally Published in Jigsaw Nation

This story takes place in a world where America split into two nations around 2004. The blue districts became the nation of Agnostica and the red districts became the nation of Faithland. The story follows a girl named Amy from Agnostica controlled Austin. She's obsessed with country music and conservatism and she determined to follow her dreams of traveling to Faithland. Are the two nations, however, really all that different?

Okay, the plausibility of this story is definitely on the softer side. The point of this story, however, was less about being a believable alternate history and more about providing commentary on recent society. In that regard I think this story does pretty well. True to their names, Faithland is a lot more religious than Agnostica, but on the whole they're a lot more similar than they are different. I like to think that's what it would be like if this were to happen for real.

Anyway, I found this story much more enjoyable than that other Jigsaw Nation story I reviewed in the post on Escape Pod. As for the narration, Amy H. Sturgis isn't just great at writing fact articles, she's also an excellent narrator. For a great story from the Jigsaw Nation anthology, look no further.

"Jaguar House in Shadow" by Aliette de Bodard
Narrated by Morag Edwards
Originally Published in Asimov's 
2011 Hugo and Nebula Award Nominee 

This story is set in the Xuya universe. It's a world where China kept its treasure fleet, discovered and colonized the New World and the Aztec Empire survived. Within the Aztec Empire there used to be several different military orders named after animals, but now only the Jaguar Knights remain following a purge by the new emperor. A rebellion was started by a Jaguar Knight named Xochitl, but it was suppressed, and she was imprisoned. Her friend Onalli, however, is determined to bust her out and find a new life in either Xuya or America.

The thing that really sold me on this story was the rich and detailed descriptions of life in the modern Aztec Empire. It's clear that Aliette did a lot of research and knows what she's talking about. As someone who writes stories set in an Aztec inspired fantasy world, I really appreciated that. I also liked the ways Aztec culture had adapted to the modern world. For example, human sacrifice has been phased out, but blood letting is still part of the religion.

This was a really great introduction to the Xuya universe, and I can't wait to find more stories set in this world. Morag handled the narration quite well. It's a story about strange rumblings in a present-day Aztec Empire. Very much worth your time.

"Something Real" by Rick Wilber
Narrated by Logan Waterman
Originally Published in Asimov's 
2012 Sidewise Award Winner

Moe Berg was a true renaissance man. He had multiple Ivy League degrees, knew many different languages, played baseball and was a spy during World War II. In this story he gets involved in a plot to stop Werner Heisenberg and Germany's attempt to develop develop an atomic bomb.

I'll admit that I didn't know too much about Moe Berg before listening to this story, but that didn't effect my ability to enjoy this story. Obviously, the Nazis were nowhere near capable of actually creating a viable atomic bomb, but it does make for a pretty good spy thriller plot. It's really a testament to Rick's writing talent that the story worked so well despite potential issues. Hey, it won the Sidewise Award so obviously it's pretty good.

Of course, a story like this needs a good narrator and Logan is that narrator. It won the Sidewise for a reason and I happily recommend it.

"The Time Travel Club" by Charlie Jane Anders
Narrated by Ibba Armancas
Originally Published in Asimov's 

This story follows a recovering addict named Lydia who has joined a time traveler's club. At first it was all just pretend and games, but then one of the members brings an time machine to the meeting. Lydia and the other members try to figure out what to do with this astonishing discovery and grow closer together.

Yeah, the summary doesn't really do it justice, but this is a really great story. The theme of a lost person finding friends through nerdy means struck a cord with me. I never really had many friends in high school or that many growing up, but then I went to college, met my now very good friends, got introduced to anime, went on many fun adventures...okay, that enough about my personal life. Point is I related with the characters in this story.

One of the things I liked was how the time machine was just that, as opposed to a space and time machine, and the characters were always having to take the Earth's rotation into account. There are some slight alternate history elements to this story, but that's a surprise I really shouldn't spoil. As I've said before, the writing and characterization are top notch in this story.

Ibba did an amazing job with the narration. A story about time travel, friendship and finding yourself. I couldn't recommend it more.

"Prophet of Flores" by Ted Kosmatka
Narrated by David Birkhead
Originally Published in Asimov's 

This is the short story that served as the basis for Ted Kosmatka's Prophet of Bones. It takes place in a world where creationism won out over Darwinian evolution and is the accepted scientific explanation for how the world came to be. The story follows a biologist named Paul Carlson; he's been performing experiments since he was young to test if evolution is true. He's been assigned to a paleontology dig on the Indonesian island of Flores that could change the world of science.

A recurring problem I find with Ted Kosmatka is that, though he comes up with some interesting ideas, he doesn't consider their full ramifications. So it is with this story. The explanation for why creationism is accepted in this world is that radiometric dating determined that the Earth is only 10,000 years old. However, despite that both science and the world as a whole look almost exactly like our world. Not only that, but the fossil record is exactly the same as in our world.

Evolution is the cornerstone of modern biology and if you get rid of that you potentially get all sorts of changes. Also, no science is an island onto itself and knocking out evolution would have effects across the scientific world. For that matter, you don't always throw something out the window in light of new evidence, rather you can refine it in light of new information. You'd also expect that their be higher levels of religiousness in such a world, but again, nothing that seems different from our world.

Now I have to be fair here, when it comes to writing characters and bringing that human element to the story Ted does an amazing job. There are also hints at the end of some kind of conspiracy. That being said, I simply can't get over the tremendous suspension of disbelief required by this story. For that matter, I'm surprised Ted felt the need to go the alternate history route, considering that we live in a world where nearly half of all Americans believe the Earth is 10,000 years old and created in seven literal days.

Obviously, I didn't enjoy it too much, but I can't quite bring myself to give it the stamp of disapproval. Should you chose to give it a try I advise to approach with a considerable degree of caution.

"Adrift on the Sea of Rains" (Part 1 and Part 2) by Ian Sales
Narrated by Logan Waterman
2012 Sidewise Award Nominee 

This story takes place in a world where the Cold War went hot. World War III wiped-out all life on Earth. The only survivors are twelve astronauts on the American Lunar Base. Thankfully, human spaceflight is more advanced than in our world. The astronauts are using a secret Nazi device to travel to different universes in hopes of finding a new home.

As I've stated before, I love alternate histories that involve space travel. This was certainly a grimmer take than usual, but it worked. You get a real sense of just how desperate the astronauts are as they cycle through desolated Earth after desolated Earth. Hey, if you ever feel bad about the state of the world, consider that when haven't nuked it to death. We've had the capacity to wipe-out all life on Earth for over sixty years, and yet we're still standing.

Towards the end they do find a habitable Earth. Ah, but the space station Freedom is nowhere to be seen. Instead, there is a Soviet space station named Mir. In our world, Freedom was proposed American space station that never materialized. However, the plans for it were worked into the International Space Station. In other words, the astronauts appear to have found our world, or one similar to it. However, they automatically assume that Mir's existence means that the Soviets have taken over the world. I know they were under a lot of stress, but that was quite the leap of logic to make.

However, I do know that Logan did a great job with the narration. Slightly wonky towards the end, but overall an excellent space-based alternate history. I recommend it.    

"Lord Dickens's Declaration" (Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3) by Lawrence Santoro 
Narrated by Lawrence Santoro 

This story has multiple points of divergence, but the primary one is that religion died out in prehistoric times. By the 1920s there's peace and happiness throughout the world. The arts are the movers and shakers of society, with science and technology existing purely to serve the arts. Speaking of technology, it's advanced to the point of including such things as supercomputers and time machines. The story follows a team of historians researching a significant event in the life of Lord Charles Dickens, but things quickly lead into a bigger conspiracy all the way back to the origin of humanity.

In terms of plausibility this story is on the softer side, with figures from Jesus to William of Occam appearing despite the changes. Had Lawrence tried to made things realistic, however, it would have resulted in a world so alien it would potentially alienate readers. It took me a bit to really get into that story, but after that I really enjoyed it. It was also helpful that each segment began by recapped the previous events.

One issue I had was how one of the characters was planning on changing the past on the grounds that this world was missing something without religion. If this world had some flaws I might have been willing to buy that, but frankly this seems to be that world John Lennon was singing about in "Imagine". If anything this world seemed to be better off without religion. Still, despite some iffy elements overall it was a great novella.

Lawrence isn't just a great author, he's also a great narrator. This novella was part of a fundraising effort when Spider Robinson's wife was diagnosed with cancer. It's always great when speculative fiction does stuff like that. Another story that I happily recommend.

"Lure" by Harry Turtledove 
Narrated by Dennis M. Lane
Originally Published in Analog and collected in Departures

This story follows a time traveling hunter named Harvey Cutter. He's traveled to Miocene Italy to capture a species of primate for the San Diego Cenozoic Zoo. Unfortunately, he's been having a bit of trouble catching the primate, but I can't tell you any more without giving away the story.

It is well known that Harry Turtledove has a thing for puns and this story is no exception as you find out at the end. As a pun lover myself I quite enjoyed this story. I also enjoyed Dennis' narration of this story.

Now I'm going to talk about the episode this story appeared in. For their 300th episode StarShipSofa had a Harry Turtledove special. They had asked him for only one story, but he offered them five; a very impressive feat. Now, they might not have had any power over what stories were offered, and Mr. Turtledove does write more than just alternate history. Still, none of the stories they received were alternate history and I can't help but think of all the great alternate history short stories we potentially missed out on.

Be that as it may, the stories we did receive, including this one, are all quite good in their own right. Let's take a look at some more.

"Not All Wolves" by Harry Turtledove 
Narrated by Ibba Armancas 
Originally Published in Werewolves and collected in Departures 

This story is set in Cologne in 1176 and follows a young werewolf named Dieter as he desperately tries to evade capture and execution. He's tried to get help everywhere, but to no avail. Fortunately, a kind hearted rabbi named Avram offers him refuge in the city's Jewish Quarter.

This is another story where the summary isn't much, but I promise this one is good. I always enjoy stories where the monsters are misunderstood rather than evil. It was interesting how the story made lycanthropy a metaphor for both puberty and the persecution of Jews. Dieter first started transforming we he turned thirteen and Avram mentions that Dieter isn't the only person to have been persecuted in Cologne. It was a really nice and heartwarming story.

There's not too much dialogue in this story, and Ibba did a good job narrating, but it still seemed a tad odd given that the story only has male characters in it. A story that is a little more hairy than Turtledove and one I happily recommend.

"Clash of Arms" by Harry Turtledove 
Narrated by Nick Camm
Originally Published in New Destinies IV and collected in Departures 

This story takes place in medieval Westphalia and follows an Englishmen named Stephen de Windesore. He attends a jousting tournament where he meets a merchant named Niccolo dello Bosco. The two men share a passion for heraldry and coats of arms. They quickly get involved in a coat of arms naming contest, and Stephen wonders if there is more to Niccolo than meets the eye.

Yeah, this is another story that's better than its summary. As a flag lover and flag maker, this story really spoke to me. I loved the exchange of banter between Stephen and Niccolo, and Nick's narration really helped bring it to life. You can always tell that Turtledove is in his element when he writes stories set in medieval times.

Another great historical fantasy story from Harry Turtledove.

"The Barbecue, The Movie, and Other Unfortunately Not So Relevant Material"
by Harry Turtledove 
Narrated by Mike Boris
Originally Published in Analog and collected in Departures 

We've got one last Harry Turtledove story. This one follows a technical writer from Los Angles named T.G. Khan. His father was a professor of Mongol History, so his full name is Temujin Genghis Khan. One day Khan receives a visit from a time traveling historian from thousands of years in the future named Lasoparop Rof. It seems Lasoparop was looking for that other Genghis Khan and is now at a loss for what to do. Khan decides to help as much as he can with a barbecue, a movie and a few wacky misadventures.

This is definitely the funniest of the four Harry Turtledove stories on this list. A lot of the humor comes from just how unfamiliar Lasoparop is with the late 20th century due to coming from 50,000-60,000 years in the future. He can't tell the difference between machines and animals, barely understands what fire is and yet apparently there are still Jews given that he recognized a menorah. Added humor comes from Khan's deadpan reaction to all of this. At the same time, this story made me wonder about how historians in the future will look back on the present day and what they'll make of it; as well as what misconceptions they might have.

Mike's great narration really added to the humorous experience. Easily one of the funniest Harry Turtledove stories and one I happily recommend.

"We Were Once of the Sky" by Yosef Lindell

Narrated by Jeremy Moran

Originally Published on Beneath Ceaseless Skies

This story takes place in 15th century England. A group of aliens became stranded on Earth some time in the past. Over the centuries they've lost much of their heritage. They don't even remember the name of their people; they call themselves the Beta, as that's what humans call them. And yet they still tell stories of how their people came from a world in the sky. The story follows a young Beta who has always been skeptical of the old stories. He's about to discover that there's more to the stories than he could possibly have imagined. 

I was disappointed when I learned that Beneath Ceaseless Skies wouldn't be making an audio version of this story. As you can imagine, I was very excited when I heard that StarShipSofa was picking up the ball. I'm a little confused as to why Beneath Ceaseless Skies, a fantasy podcast, would run a science fiction story with no fantasy elements, but I won't hold it against them.

I see echoes of several historical peoples, such as the Jews and the Roma, in the Beta. The Beta themselves look mostly human, but have a series of circular indents on their foreheads, and they can pass information along by touching tongues. It is also hinted that their eyes aren't quite human-looking. People on the Middle Ages and Renaissance believed in all sorts of mythical creatures. Black people were considered semi-mythical to the peoples of Europe. As such, the Beta probably wouldn't phase the humans as much as you might think.

There is a slight science vs. religion theme going on in the story, but it is an interesting twist on the concept. The science the protagonist uses is based on the works of Ptolemy, Galen and Aristotle. We now know that many of their ides were flat-out wrong, or were right for reasons other that what they claimed. Meanwhile, it is clear from the start that the stories of his people are true, so religion winds-up being right for once. 

Overall I quite enjoyed this story, but I did have one slight issue towards the end. The protagonist decides to touch one of his people's relics, that is, bits of their ancestral spaceship, with his tongue. This is how he discovers that the stories are true. Okay, you expect me to believe that, in all the time the Beta have been stranded on Earth, none of them ever thought to do that?  It is repeatedly emphasized how important touching things with tongues is to the Beta. Even with as much reverence as they treat the relics, surely someone else tried over the ages? Also, just a thought, what if this isn't an alternate history story? The end of the story mentions a plague being about to reach the Beta's colony, as they call their settlement. What if they all died in the plague, and thus the story is actually set in our world? Certainly a depressing possibility.

Still, despite this I'm very satisfied with this story, including Jeremy's narration. A story that was well worth the wait, and one I happily recommend.

"How You Ruined Everything" by Konstantine Paradias

Narrated by Jonathan Sharp

Originally Published in Unidentified Funny Object 5

This is a story about you. Well, not you specifically, but it is told in the second-person. You are using a time machine to travel back in time to 1969 to see the Summer of Love. Unfortunately, you wind-up getting into a few temporal mishaps along the way.

It's always fun to find a story told in the second-person. In terms of alternate history plausibility, there's about a million things wrong with this story. For example, you travel back to prehistoric times and kill a hominid. Then you accidentally kill Hitler with a robot arm from the future, leave said arm behind, and this results in the Nazis winning World War II. Despite all of this, and the fact that Nazi Germany conquered America, hippies and the counterculture  movement happen exactly on schedule. The biggest difference is that the hippies are all anti-Semites. It isn't plausible, but it sure makes for a fun story.

Jonathan does a great job with the narration. What else can I say? It is very fun story that you won't want to miss out on.

"Needle in a Timestack" by Robert Silverberg

Narrated by Robert A.K. Gonyo

Originally Published in Asimov's

This story follows a man named Mikkelsen and his wife Janine. They live in a time where time travel is both possible and commonplace. Unfortunately, Janine's ex-boyfriend Tommy keeps trying to use time travel to break-up Janine and Mikkelsen's marriage. Mikkelsen is going to have act quick when Tommy's latest trip succeeds.

The description leaves something to be desired, but it is a good story, I promise. It is mentioned hat chrono crime is apparently hard to prove, because everyone just accepts the new timeline after a certain point. It is also mentioned that even relatively minor changes in the past can result in people never meeting or blinking out of existence in the present. As such, you'd think that time travel would be tightly regulated, if allowed at all. Then again, we wouldn't have a story if it was that way.

I'm going to have to talk about the ending, so turn back now if you don't want it spoiled.

If everyone who wants out is gone, then let us begin. Mikkelsen goes back in time and prevents Tommy from marrying Janine by setting him up with another woman. Tommy winds up being much happier, but Mikkelsen and Janine still don't get married, but they do meet in the present. This is presented as a happy ending, the implication being that they will marry, but there's one rather glaring oversight. Mikkelsen and Janine had two daughters in the original timeline. That means Tommy is a murderer! They've been retroactively aborted because one man couldn't let go of the past. Mikkelsen and Janine also had three cats who got deleted. Granted, I still very much enjoyed the story, but it's all a pretty big oversight on Silverberg's part.

I also enjoyed Robert A.K. Gonyo's narration. An overall good story, if more than a bit flawed towards the end, but I still recommend it.

"The Wings The Lungs, The Engine The Heart" by Laurie Tom

Narrated by Cian Mac Mahon

Originally Published in Galaxy's Edge

This story is set in a dieselpunk version of World War I. Our protagonist is part of a team of German scientist working on a device, known as a heartbox, that could revive the dead by mimicking the heart's functions. To their surprise, it works when they try it on Manfred von Richthofen, the Red Barron. Richthofen is now limited to wherever the six feet of cable connecting him to the box will allow. The story follows the protagonists as he helps Richthofen adjust to his new life and continue to contribute to the war effort.

You don't often see Germans as the protagonists of works featuring World War I. They're almost always the villains when they do appear. As such, I was plenty surprised by how this story gave a sympathetic look at Imperial Germany. It is also a humanizing look at one of the legends of World War I. Richthofen can still fly planes, albeit, with considerable prep work beforehand. It is one of the few times he feels truly free and unbound by his cords. Despite all of this, World War I ends more or less as it did in our world. Still, the ending of the story is quite memorable.

I enjoyed Cian's narration. However, I must address something I did not enjoy. Immediately after the story we immediately are treated to a Lumber Liquidators ad. Look, I don't begrudge StarShipSofa for doing what they gotta do to keep the lights on, but there needed to be a better transition. Give the listeners a moment to reflect on the story they just heard. Now, credit where it is due, Tony C. Smith did a much better job about that in the episodes after this one. I'm also in favor of having Tony himself advertising the products rather than some random announcer.

A touching dieselpunk take on one of World War I's most iconic figures. I happily recommend it.

"Cosmobotica" by Tony Pi and Costi Gurgu

Narrated by Paul Cram

Originally Published in The Mammoth Book of Dieselpunk

This story is set in Romania in 1939 and follows a scientist named Henri. He has developed robotic astronauts known as cosmobots. He's also devolved a device that would, essentially, temporarily transmit human conscience into a cosmobot. However, before the project can truly take off, he's going to face potential saboteurs.

You don't see Romania pop-up very much when it comes to dieselpunk and steampunk. As such, it was a nice change of pace that they were featured in this story. Though, this presumably means that World War II went differently than it did in our world. Possibly World War I as well, given that Romania is implied to be a world leader in technological innovation. I'm glad to see that Tony Pi is branching out and trying new things. Granted, I do love his fantasy stories set in Ancient China, but it is great to see what else he is capable of.

It is also great to hear Paul's narration. A fun pulp-inspired dieselpunk I'm sure you'll enjoy. I recommend it.

"Pale Blue Memories" by Tobias S. Buckell

Narrated by Eric Luke

Originally Published in Old Venus

This story takes place in a world where Venus is habitable and tropical, like in the science fiction of the 1950s and 1960s. Our protagonist is mixed race, but can pass for white, and is part of an American expedition of Venus. He's always felt disconnect from his slave ancestors. However, he's about to feel more connected than ever. His expedition has been captured by the lizard men of Venus.

I wanted to like this story, I really did. The main problem was that I couldn't tell where the protagonist ended and Tobias began. A lot of the things the protagonists says during his internal monologues sound very similar to things Tobias has ranted about on social media. Granted, the story is set during the 1940s, so it makes sense that the protagonist would be concerned about racism and worker's rights. Still, I just couldn't shake the feeling that Tobias was trying to say, essentially, that America is just as bad today as it was in the 1940s. Toby, serious question, where you in a coma when Barrack Obama became president?

There's also a point where the protagonist whines that capitalism and democracy caused racism and slavery...even though capitalism and democracy played a major role in the abolition of both of those. Granted this story is set in the 1940s, before all of that happened, but it just goes to underscore my point. It is very hard to tell if the protagonist is a legitimate character, or just a mouthpiece for Tobias' views.

People read pulpy old-school adventure science fiction because they want to escape the real world. Trying to bring real world issues into this sort of story...it just doesn't work. I mean, the writing and plot were otherwise decent, and that makes it all the more frustrating.

Regrettably, I must give this story a thumbs down. Don't waste your time with this one.

"End of the Silk Road" by David D. Levine

Narrated by David D. Levine

Originally Published in Old Venus

This story is also set in a world where Venus is habitable and tropical, like in the science fiction of the 1950s and 1960s. It follows a private detective who has recently relocated to Venus. He soon finds himself investigating a series of crimes affecting the native amphibian inhabitants of Venus. At the same time, he seeks to reconnect with his family.

You can always count on David to do something unique when he's involved with an anthology. This story is actually set in the same world as his story "The Wreck of the Mars Adventure" but set in 1936 rather than 1701. We'll get to it momentarily. The universe of both stories is a world where physics and astronomy work more or less as they were believed to in the 18th Century. You don't have to have read "Mars Adventure" to enjoy this story, but you get something a little extra out of the experience. This is why our protagonist gets to Venus in an airship, with gas sacks make of Venusian silk. Space is full of aether, so breathing isn't a problem.

It appears that the 1930s on Earth are more of less as they were in our world, as this story has a strong noir vibe. I loved that the native Venusians were all amphibians, and that they live in giant mushrooms. They also use fungal bark from the mushrooms to build houses. Like I said, you can always count on David to do something unique. You can also count on David for some great narration.

A very fun retro Venus story that I'm sure you'll enjoy. I happily recommend it.  

"Don Quixote" by Carrie Vaughn 

Narrated by Nicola Seaton-Clark 

Originally Published in Armored 

 

This story follows a pair of American reporters who are in Spain to cover the Spanish Civil War. They come across a pair of brothers who have invented a diesel-powered robot tank in hopes of defeating Franco's forces. The invention is a marvel of engineering, but what are the consequences of such a device? 

 

It's often said that the Spanish Civil War was the first shots fired in World War II. I've always found it to be an interesting subject and it was nice to see a story set in it. I liked that this story wasn't so much anti-technology as much as it was a caution about the potential misuses of technology. I mean, just imagine what might have happened if Nazi Germany got their hands on an army of robot tanks like the ones in the story. 

 

Stories that have narrators that are the opposite gender of their characters are always a bit of a gamble. Here, however, it works out reasonably well. It's another great story from Carrie Vaughn I'm sure you'll enjoy. 

 

"The Wreck of Mars Adventure" by David D. Levine 

Narrated by David D. Levine 

Originally Published in Old Mars 

 

This story takes places in a world where physics and astronomy function as they were believed to in the 18th century. The notorious pirate Captain Kidd has finally been captured, but he's been given a chance to escape execution. He has been charged with leading a mission of diplomacy and discovery to the planet Mars. Little does Kidd know that's he's in for the adventure of his life. 

 

This story had a certain nostalgic element for me. I was very much reminded of the often-forgotten Disney movie Treasure Planet. For those who haven't seen it, it's basically Treasure Island in a space opera setting. I have many fond memories of watching that movie when I was younger. The writing style itself was very evocative of the high seas adventure stories of the 18th and 19th centuries. You really get that sense of excitement about exploring new horizons in an age of discoveries. 

 

Authors narrating their own stories has its pros and cons. They can often do the characters' voices closer to their original vision, but they must have proper narration skills to pull it off. David is quite the narrator in addition to being a good writer, so it all works out. 

 

An adventure on the high seas of outer space that I happily recommend. 

Conclusion

And there you go. We have completed another edition of The Alt-Hist File. Don't forget, if you like what you hear, be sure to donate to your favorite podcasts. Hopefully, StarShipSofa is now one of them. Every cent goes towards bringing you the best in audio fiction. I know these little conclusion section are a bit ant-climactic, but I think it is nice to have a moment to reflect on all the stories. So, that is this edition of The Alt-Hist File. I would just like to say, good night/morning/evening/afternoon from me! I will see you all next time.