Riordan Retrospective: The Tower of Nero

Welcome back to my Riordan Retrospective. This is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means Percy Jackson, its sequels, and its spin-off.  This is less of a formal review and more of a casual look back.  I'd normally have introduced that with "For those of you just joining the fun..." but this is our final installment.  So, you really should probably start at the beginning with The Lightning Thief.  

Last time, we took a look back at Camp Jupiter Classified and "The Singer of Apollo." This time, we reach the big finally, at least for now. We're taking a look back at The Tower of Nero, The Trials of Apollo book 5.  As usual, we'll start things off with a little summary. 

This is it; the journey has come to its end.  Apollo and Meg have returned to New York City to face off against Nero.  Additionally, Apollo must slay the serpent Python to free the final source of prophecy and reclaim his godhood.  Apollo is in for a battle of Olympian proportions. 
 
Well, this is it.  It feels kind of surreal that we're here.  I mean, I some level we all knew that the Camp Half-Blood side of the Riordanverse was going to come to an end eventually.  We knew it, but it still feels kind of unreal that it has finally arrived.  We'll ponder that a bit more than towards the end.  For now, let's discuss the plot itself.  Also, as usual, there will be spoilers ahead.  So, consider yourself warned. 
 
Apollo and Meg get a new ally in the form of Lu, short for Luguselwa.  She is a Gaul who served Nero, and taught Meg how to sword fight.  In many ways, Lu was something of a surrogate aunt to Meg during his time in Nero's household.  Lu never liked Nero, and was given immortality against her will.  Unsurprisingly, she helped Meg escape from Nero, which eventually led to Meg finding Apollo.  I thought she was a welcome addition to the cast.  
 
Apollo, Meg, and Lu make a stop at the Jackson apartment to visit Sally and Paul.  By this point baby Estelle has been born.  She has salt and pepper hair like Paul...and sea-green eyes like Poseidon.  How can this be?  Was Rick having a brain fart again?  Actually, I have a theory.  The Ancient Greeks believed that, if a woman had sex with multiple men in the same night, their sperm would mix within her, and the child would inherit traits from both men.  That's how Theseus could be a son of both King Aegeas and Poseidon.  That wasn't the writers being inconsistent; Theseus was literally the son of both Aegeas and Poseidon.  Now, as for what this has to do with little Estelle, I guess what I'm saying is, make of her appearance what you will.  
 
Then we move on to Camp Half-Blood where...can it be?  It is!  Mr. D is finally back at camp!  I never thought I'd miss Dionysus so much, but it is great to have him back.  It's mentioned that he's forced to work at camp for 100 year, even though his sentence was reduced to fifty years at the end of The Last Olympian.  Could be another goof, but on the other hand, it is perfect in-character for Zeus to chance the sentence back to 100 years for no reason at all.  Mr. D even give Meg some respect when she turns out to be really good at pinochle.  On the flip side, he really rubs it in Apollo's face about the whole reduced to a mortal thing.  Dionysus even tells everyone that Apollo is named Mr. A, and is his assistant.  
 
Apollo also takes time to visits his kids.  Turns out Japan wasn't the only country his visited.  He has a son from London named Jerry and another son from Hong Kong named Yan.  He also has a daughter from Idaho named Gracie, but that isn't as exciting.  I sure hope the Chinese gods don't give little Yan any trouble.  Well, unless Hong Kong counts as separate from China.  Wait, is Rick subtly signaling his support for the Hong Kong protesters?  Is so, good on you, Rick.  Getting back on track, it was nice that Apollo took time to bond with his kids. 
 
Nico and Will are also back.  Nico hasn't been doing so well lately.  Jason's death hit him pretty hard.  Jason was the first person he came out to, and they did seem to have a bit of chemistry together.  I still stand by my theory that Jason was originally going to be gay, and was going to be Nico's boyfriend rather than Will.  All the same, you'd think the bigger issue would be that he lost Reyna, his surrogate sister, to the Hunters of Artemis.  This marks the second times the Hunters took a sister from him, but this gets absolutely no mention, not even in passing.  Of course, Reyna herself joined the Hunters with nary a though to how Nico would take it; as I covered in The Tyrant's Tomb.  We'll come back to this later, but let's move on to other things for now. 
 
Nico has been taking trips deep underground, even deeper than the Labyrinth, to meet with the troglodytes.  They're a race of frogmen who borough deep into the earth and can run really fast.  They also like to wear funny hats, and they consider lizards a delicacy.  They also known secret passages that lead to Nero's headquarters, and a few that lead to certain parts of the underworld.  Naturally, with Nico's help, Apollo and Meg want to enlist the help of the troglodytes to defeat Nero.  Also, just as an aside, if someone ever calls you a troglodyte, they are not paying you a compliment.  
 
Rachel is also back at long last, and she joins Nico, Will, Apollo, and Meg on their journey to meet the troglodytes.  I thought that Rachel had really great chemistry with Will and Nico.  Also, when the gang visit Rachel's house in Brooklyn, she mentions that there is some weird stuff going on at the house next door.  Some people say they've seen penguins on the balcony, and others claims that there is a house floating above it.  Obviously, this is Brooklyn House from The Kane Chronicles.  It was a nice little cameo, especially since The Kane Chronicles is typically kept separate from the Greco-Roman side of the Riordanverse. 
 
I also really liked that Nero utilizes modern technology this time round in his schemes.  He doesn't have to worry about attracting monsters like the heroes do. That gives him a pretty big advantage.  He's got a network of surveillance cameras scattered across Manhattan.  Presumably, he read a copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four at some point and thought "Oh, yes.  That sounds lovely.  I wonder if I can make something like that?"  This yet another reason why Camp Half-Blood needs to collaborate more with Brooklyn House; surveillance cameras are incredibly easy for magicians to short out.  
 
At one point, when Apollo confronts Nero, the emperor says something to the effect of "The Christians claimed they were a religion of peace, but I knew what they were really up to."  Okay, credit where it is due, that was a genuinely clever line.  We also find out what Nero's long-term plan is.  Meg isn't the only demigod orphan he kidnapped.  Nero wants to create a new pantheon, with himself as the surrogate father to the new gods.  Hey, that's kind of like the plan Luke had in the movie of...the movi...the mov...no, no, no, no, no!  We're not going to go there!  Not here, not now.  There are no Percy Jackson movies in Ba Sing Se!  The Earth King has invited me Lake Laogi.  I...I...ice cream.  
 
I'm sorry gang, I blanked out there for a minute.  What were we talk about again?  Oh, right, Nero's evil plans.  He wants to burn down New York and rebuild it in his image as the capital of his new empire.  It used to be a popular theory that Nero started the Great Fire of Rome so that he could build a new palace.  He pinned the crime on the Christians, as they were considered shifty, unpatriotic, and untrustworthy weirdos by all the well-to-do Romans.  However, most modern historians no longer believe this to be the case.  Most likely, the fire was just a freak accident, and Christians made a convenient target to lash out at.  
 
Nero's also been seeking help from other pantheons.  He's hired a leontocephaline to guard his fasces.  Leontocephaline was a creature from Persian Mythology.  It looked like a man with a lion's head.  It guarded the scepter of immortality of the god Mithras, and oversaw the movements of the stars.  Well, at least, that's what some people thing.  Just a refresher, Mithras was a Persian god who was popular with Roman soldiers.  Well, he was basically the Roman version of the Persian god Mithra.  Mithras had a religion based around his worship, but we know next to nothing about it.  To date, no surviving Mithraic texts have ever been found.  Most of what we do know comes from archeology, second-hand accounts, and educated guess work.  The leontocephaline is one of the least understood parts of Mithraic iconography, but the information Rick gives is one of the competing theories about what it was. 
 
Similarly, nobody knows why Mithraism died out.  Some think it was competition with Christians.  Some churches were built on top of Mithraic temples, which leads some credence to the theory.  However, it really started to decline around the time tension between Rome and Persia flared up, again.  Thus, worshiping a Persian deity would have been viewed as unpatriotic.  Of course, it didn't help that only men could join, and that initiates had to cut off their penises once they really committed to it, so converts were the only way for the religion to grow.  It might be a combination of all three, but my money is on the last one, and the religion being doomed from the start.  
 
I bring all this up because it adds another layer to Nero's deviousness.  He was so desperate for power that he'd even forge alliances with the gods of one of Rome's ancient enemies.  He's also got a new weapon called Sassanid gas; named after the Persian dynasty that ruled from the third century AD until the Islamic conquest of Iran in the seventh century.  It's a deadly gas that highly effective in enclosed spaces.  Nero is planning on using it on the demigods of Camp Half-Blood who have come to help Apollo.  In other words, Nero...wants to gas the half-bloods.  Uh, Nero, just purely out of curiosity, what are your opinions on black people and Jews?  
 
Though, in all seriousness, I liked that Chiron accompanied the campers, and treated the whole experience like a field trip.  I also absolutely loved the scene where Apollo revokes Nero's divinity.  He says, basically, "I'm the one who gave this to you in the first place, and I can take it away.  Without me, you're nothing."  It was very cathartic after everything Nero has put Apollo and Meg through.  Of course, first Lu needed to get the fasces from the leontocephaline.  It would only except immortality, and Lu trades the immortality Nero granted her.  I'm not sure how that works, but the leontocephaline accepted it, and that's the important part.  Though, personally, I would actually have like to have seen all that go down, rather than have Lu tell us after the fact.  
 
Of course, with Nero out the way, Apollo has to face off against Python for the big finish.  Python was more in the background compared to Kronos and Gaea.  They both lurked in the background, but always exerted enough influence to remind everyone of what a threat they were.  By contrast, The Trials of Apollo put the emphasis firmly on the Triumvirate, with Python being a bit of an afterthought most of the time.  Still, Python absolutely makes the most of what screen time he gets.  He comes across as an incredible intimating and formidable opponent for Apollo.  I think we all call the Arrow of Dodona being used to deliver the killing blow.  All the same, it was sad to see our Shakespearian comrade have to sacrifice himself.  I hope that his spirit somehow made it back to the Grove of Dodona.  
 
Up on Olympus, the gods have been watching closely, and have been cheering him on.  And even Hera, of all people, cries because she worries that Apollo might not make it.  The gods briefly wonder what they'll do if Apollo fails.  Aphrodite and Ares suggest they start searching for a replacement, but nobody considers maybe giving Hestia her spot back.  I mean, that would have been awful if Apollo got killed, but at least Hestia would have experience as an Olympian.  It's okay, Hestia, at least I remembered you.  
 
I really liked that, after Apollo get his godhood back, we get several chapters where Apollo visits all of his friends, and reflects on how he has grown and changed.  I'm reminded of a quote by the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain.  When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in.  That's what the storm is all about." 
 
Apollo is welcomed back by all of the other Olympians with open arms.  Even Artemis is glad to have her twin brother back, though she does tease him a bit.  It was nice to get to see Olympus from the perspective of one of the gods.  Though, by this point, Apollo feels like a stranger in his own home.  He doesn't feel comfortable among the gods, and longs for the comfort of Camp Half-Blood.  Naturally, that's where he decides to go first.  He even arrives in his Lester Papadopoulos form, because he's grown fond of it, almost more so than his perfect godly body.  Quite the change from The Hidden Oracle, when he couldn't wait to bid his mortal body ado.  Apollo also pledges to keep his distance from Zeus in order to limit his father's toxic influence.  Though it was nice that Zeus, in his own way, told Apollo that he was proud of him.  It was also nice that Dionysus subtly congratulates Apollo on regaining his godhood.  
 
Apparently, Chiron has been meeting with a cat and a severed head to discuss a mutual problem.  Obviously, this is Bast from The Kane Chronicles and Mimir from Magnus Chase.  Don't get too excited, the big three-way crossover many people were hoping for isn't happening.  This was just Rick throwing a bone to those people hoping for it.  Rachel recites a third great prophecy, but we don't get to hear it.  I guess that it was Rick was of showing that the adventure is still continuing even if the books are ending.  Hey, as long as the world has the demigods of Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter to defend it, then the world is in good hands.  Bring on the monsters.  
 
Apollo doesn't take over for Dionysus at Camp Half-Blood, as many assumed he would.  Still, he will be visiting his kids more often from now on.  He also stops by Camp Jupiter to check-in with Hazel, Frank, and Lavinia.  They're all doing well, and that's good.  Then he goes to the Waystation.  Emmie and Jo are doing their best to keep Leo and Calypso out of trouble.  Speaking of which, Leo and Calypso still haven't really gotten together, Calypso is still mad at Leo, and their relationship, such that it is, is still on the rocks.  Awesome!  Who says happy endings aren't possible?  Also, apparently Calypso is working at a music camp these days.  Hmm, maybe one of these days she'll wind-up leading campfire sing-a-longs at Camp Half-Blood.  
 
Of course, then Rick completely bungled it all.  The Hunters of Artemis are there too.  Reyna seems to be loosening up a bit, which I suppose makes sense.  I'd imagine Thalia is starting to rub off on her.  Oh, and she treats Leo as her surrogate little brother now, despite that they've barely interacted at all before this point.  No!  Gods, please, no!  No!  Noooooooooo! 
 
Seriously, Rick, is that you trying to piss the readers off on purpose again?  Because that's sure what it feels like.  Reyna already has a surrogate little brother, and his name is Nico.  Perhaps you've heard of him?  That was one plotline I, and many other fans, we're looking forward to, and Riordan completely dropped the ball.  And why Leo, of all people?  Well, apart from being a creator's pet, I assume it was because they're both Latino.  Man, that's like the end of David Tennant's run on Doctor Who when Micky and Martha got married because they were both black.  Hey, if you have a better explanation of why Micky and Martha got married, despite them never interacting before, I'm all ears. 
 
If Rick made Reyna and Leo surrogate siblings because they're both Latino, then wow, that was awfully lazy.  Mexico and Puerto Rico have different cultures.  There are areas of overlap, to be sure, but they are separate and distinct cultures.  Having the Mexican boy and the Puerto Rican girl as surrogate siblings is, basically, implying that all Latino cultures are interchangeable.  It also ignores that Reyna already had a surrogate sibling relationship with Nico.  Seriously, am I the only one who cared about that? 
 
Moving along, Apollo visits Percy and Annabeth at the University of New Rome.  At long last, Percy has turned eighteen and finally graduated from high school.  Congratulations my guy, you certainly earned it.  Percy even manages to bury the hatchet with Apollo.  It helped that Apollo teleported some of Mrs. Jackson's famous blue chocolate chip cookies to Percy.  Percy, Annabeth, and Grover drove all the way across America to get to New Rome, just like old times.  Well, I mean, they had to because Zeus won't let Percy fly. Still, I'm sensing potential for a short story or two there.  Sadly, Grover isn't in this particular scene, because he's off doing satyr stuff.  
 
Even more regrettably, they spend a large amount of time moaning about how Jason was the greatest hero of all, and what a great guy he was, blah, blah, blah.  Oh, give me a break!  A freeze-dried octopus in a mason jar would have made a better hero than Jason Grace.  You wanna know why I think everyone loves him so much?  He's a self-insert character.  Just hear me out.  A trick some authors do is to make their main characters as vague as possible so that the readers can imagine themselves in the role.  You often see this in romance novels.  Stephanie Meyer has admitted she did this with Bella Swan in Twilight.  So, think Rick made Jason a blank canvas so that readers could project their own expectations and headcanons onto him.  Thus, Jason isn't popular because of what is on the page, but rather, because of what readers came up with while trying to fill-in the blanks. 
 
I've said, and I'll say it again.  Jason was a worthless good for nothing cardboard cutout of a character.  A pale imitation of Percy, who is twenty-times the hero Jason could ever hope to be.  The Chad Percy and The Virgin Jason.  So, goodbye and good riddance.  And may Jason Grace rot forever in the Fields of Asphodel as he deserves. 
 
Moving right along, Piper is enjoying a quiet life in Oklahoma.  Oh, and she's dating a girl named Shel.  So yeah, Piper is a lesbian...or bisexual...it was kind of ambiguous.  I didn't mind that, but I would have liked it to have had more set-up.  Piper also makes it sound like she's taking a stand against Aphrodite's expectations.  Except there was no real evidence that Aphrodite disapproved of Piper dating girls.  Like I said, there was also no evidence that Piper liked girls until just now, so it feels kind of out of left field.  
 
Last, but certainly not least, Apollo takes time to visit Meg.  She's enjoying a peaceful new life at Adithales with her foster siblings, and under the watchful eyes of Lu.  They spend the day together, but though Apollo must leave, he promises to return soon.  I liked that so many chapters were devoted to checking in on the other characters.  This underscores that this is the last time we'll be seeing these character for a while.  It also emphasis how far many of them have come over the years. 
 
Finally, Apollo takes a moment to personally thank the reader/listener for sticking with him throughout the retelling of his trials.  He says that he considers the reader a personal friend, and grants his patronage to the reader.  Whenever you write a poem, perform a song, or fire an arrow, Apollo will be watching over you and cheering you on.  Aw, that was really nice of him. 
 
You can also read this on a metafictional level.  It is very easy to interpret that as Rick Riordan himself thanking the readers, especially those who were with him since all the way back when The Lightning Thief first came out.  Here's to you, Uncle Rick.  Sometimes you made me crabby, other times you drive me nuts, but my life is better because of you, no ifs, ands, or buts.  
 
We're going to do one final cover analysis.  Not too much to unpack here.  It's the big moment where Apollo faces off against Python, and it is glorious. 
 
And for one final time, I will plug the audiobook version.  Robbie Daymond is a professional voice actor involved in numerous cartoons, video games, and anime dubs.  So, it is unsurprising that he always gives a great performance.  Jesse Bernstein is always going to have the nostalgia factor, but Robbie can more than give him a run for his money as a narrator. 
 
And so, at last, that was The Tower of Nero, and the end of The Trials of Apollo.  It is a really surreal feeling.  I can believe that it's over already.  What else can I say?  It's been an amazing journey, and I'm glad I've had all of you join me along the way. 
 
Wait, actually, I do have more to say.  This isn't the end of the Riordanverse.  Rick is currently writing a series based on Irish Mythology.  No word on when it is coming out, but it is happening.  He's also toying with the idea of doing standalone books set within the Riordanverse.  He's mentioned he's thinking of writing a Nico standalone story.  Think along the lines of Camp Jupiter Classified, but perhaps longer.  It would be like those A Star Wars Story movies.  It's a shame they stopped making them, because I thought Rouge One and Solo were absolutely fantastic, but I digress.  Maybe we'll get standalones focused on minor characters, or original characters.  Still, that's a ways away, and still hypothetical at this point. 
 
More importantly, we're getting a live action Percy Jackson series on Disney+ and live action Kane Chronicles movies on Netflix.  Oh, and Rick and his wife Becky are going to be involved every step of the way.  They're going to ensure that they will be faithful to the books, and are quality products.  Rick is writing the pilot episode of the Disney+ series.  Very exciting stuff indeed.  And hey, there's plenty of great books to discover from the Rick Riordan Presents imprint. 
 
I guess all of this is to say, don't think of The Tower of Nero as goodbye forever, but rather, goodbye for now.  This isn't the last we've seen of the Riordanverse.  It might be a few years, but there are still more adventures to come.  
 
And what of The Riordan Retrospective?  Well, it's much the same.  Obviously, I can't do any more retrospectives until new books come out.  However, the spirit of the Riordan Retroactive will live on.  I've been reading and enjoying several of the Rick Riordan Presents books.  I think I will review them, but separate from the Riordan Retrospective, as they are not written by Rick Riordan.  I also think I'll start another retrospective series, but this time focused on the works of DJ MacHale.  That means Pendragon, The Morpheus Road, and The SYLO Chronicles.  I do hope you'll join me for both of those. 
 
And now, I would like to take a moment to thank all of you, especially those who were with me from the start.  This retrospective series would have been half as fun without all of you.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  You all have my eternal gratitude.  If I could, I'd give blue chocolate chip cookies to all of you.  
 
Well, I think that does it from me for now.  I will see you guys next time. 

 

The Alt-Hist File: Red Moon

The world of audio drama is home to all sorts of wonderful productions and great stories. However, as with any medium, there are a few stinkers out there as well. Most times, I'm able to just move along if I encounter one of these. However, there are other times that an audio drama misses the mark so much I have no choice but to talk about it. Regrettably, the show we're looking at today is one of these audio dramas. We're taking a look at Red Moon.

 

Red Moon takes place in a world where the Soviet Union landed a manned mission on the Moon in 1968. Specifically, Yuri Gagarin became the first man to set foot on the Moon. This is a humiliating defeat for the United States. However, America refuses to give in, and creates a new goal of being the first to establish the permanent lunar base. By 1979, both superpowers have established bases on the Moon. Both bases have nuclear launch capability and the Doomsday Clock has been set to one minute to midnight. Tensions remain high between East and West.

Also, NASA was folded into a new branch of the American military known as Space Command, or SpaceCom for short. They have command center throughout the world, including in Britain. Meanwhile, in London, a former British spy named Eddie is still morning the loss of his beloved wife. Little does he know, however, that he's about to unravel a conspiracy with major geopolitical ramifications.

I'd heard about Red Moon before, and I was very happy to finally have an opportunity to listen to it. It seemed like an incredibly promising premise, and I went in with high expectations. Red Moon took its brilliant premise...and promptly bungled it into an incredibly boring story.

First, let's see how the alternate history checks out. I should note that this is the third work of alternate history I've reviewed that centered around a Soviet moon landing. As such, comparisons to The Soyuz Files and What If? Russians on the Moon! are pretty much inevitable, but we'll get to that soon enough. Alternate histories about the Space Race seem to be on a slight rise as of late. Besides Red Moon and the aforementioned works, there's also For All Mankind over on Apple TV+. For All Mankind is absolutely amazing, and I totally recommend watching it if you haven’t already. Alternate histories about Germany winning World War I have also seen a slight rise, not doubt thanks to the Hearts of Iron mod Kaisereich. It is nice to see more variety than the usual Nazi victory or Confederate victory scenarios. So, how's about some more Aztec Empire never falls scenarios? But I'm getting off track here.

Overall, the alternate history itself isn't too bad. We learn that Sergey Korolev did not die in 1966 like he did in our world. Korolev was very much the heart of the Soviet space program; and keeping him alive would significantly increase the chances of a successful Soviet moon landing. I also think that moon bases would be the logical next goal for an extended Space Race. The technology for a manned mission to Mars just would not be feasible by 1979.

I'll also give Red Moon credit that I'm willing to buy that the moon bases have nuclear launch capability. For all the talk of lofty goals of exploration, one of the major driving forces behind the Space Race was "Hmm, I wonder if we can put some nukes up there?" Furthermore, the Apollo missions weren't as popular as you might think. Numerous polls showed that only about fifty-three percent of the American public supported the Apollo program. That number was even lower among racial minorities. Apollo also consistently made the top five programs Americans said they'd eliminate in order to curb government spending.

The point is, you're going to have to convince a lot of Americans if you want to keep the Space Race going. One good way of doing that is to stoke up fear about the Soviets placing nukes on the Moon, and emphasizing how America needs to get there first. It is even mention that the United States and the Soviet Union have pulled out of the Outer Space Treaty. It was a treaty signed in 1967 where the signatories agreed to ban the use of nuclear weapons in outer space.

I'll also concede that sound effects were top of the line and very professional. The voice acting was, for the most part, quite excellent as well. The only issue was that I'm not sure I can see Eddie's voice actor as leading man material. There were also a couple minor American characters who sounded more like British people attempting American accents. Otherwise, the actors playing Americans did an excellent job. Well, for all I know they might well have been actual Americans.

Okay, the alternate history is reasonably solid, the sound effects and acting are great, so where did Red Moon go so wrong? It comes in the execution of the story. Series writer Robert Valentine seemed to be drawing quite a bit of inspiration from Robert Harris' classic alternate history novel Fatherland. Personally, I always found Fatherland to be dreadfully boring, except towards the very end when the action finally picked up. I get that Harris was going for the banality of evil and all that, but you'd think a novel about a victorious Nazi Germany would be more exciting.

Anyway, novels that take the Fatherland approach to alternate history. Said approach goes as follows: take an average person, usually a detective or reporter, and have them go about their lives. Then something happens where they get drawn into a conspiracy involving the government and they must unravel the conspiracy before it's too late. Problem is that, much like Fatherland, these novels tend to move at the pace of molasses in an igloo, and are incredibly dull to boot. The only book I've seen use this premise, and not turn out dreadfully dull, is Resurrection Day by Brendan DuBois. I may have to put that one on the rotation for review at some point.

Unsurprisingly, Red Moon suffers from serious pacing issues. Episode one started well enough, but episodes two through four were a complete drag. There were times I wanted to shout "Get to the point already!" Things somewhat picked up by episode five, but it was too little too late. Episode six, the concluding episode, felt incredibly rushed, which is quite a feat given how plodding the proceeding episodes were. It certainly didn't help that I found all the characters to be variously flat, one-dimensional, and overall just not that engaging or memorable. To be perfectly frank, it didn't take long before I simple did not care about what happened to the characters.

Also, I need to talk about one scene in particular. Eddie meets one of his associates, an American fellow, in the park to discuss what's really going on with SpaceCom. We learn that the American space program has been doing shady things from the start. They even, horror of horrors, hired former Nazi rocket scientist. This is treated like some grand revelation, but it really isn't, not even in-universe. It was common knowledge among the general public, even as far back as the 1950s that NASA employed former German rocket scientists as part of Project Paperclip. Tom Lehrer even pinned a famous song in 1965 making fun of Wernher Von Braun for his ties to the Nazi Party. So, since the audio drama is set in 1979, this wouldn't be a bombshell at all.

Project Paperclip is also treated as a unique black mark on America's part, but again, not really. The Soviet Union had its own equivalent of Project Paperclip. Curiously, those who wag their fingers at America for Project Paperclip hardly ever bring this up. And that's to say nothing of the Soviet Union's incredibly cavalier attitude towards the safety of its cosmonauts. For example, one out of five, possibly more, Soviet rocket launches ended in failure.

It was more of a minor annoyance, but throughout the audio drama we have characters bemoaning how Britain is just an innocent bystander in the fight between the two superpowers. I can kind of understand where they were coming form, but I spot a few flaws with that. Britain is a member of NATO, so it isn't like they were some unaligned nation caught-up in the conflict. Moreover, Britain has a nuclear arsenal, which is a lot better than most nations can claim. In fact, Britain was the third nation to get the atom bomb. They would have been second, but the Soviets beat them to the punch on that one.

A few of the characters grumble about how they've basically became a colony of America, and how America is imperialistic. The nation that used to own a quarter of the world is really not in a position to be lecturing about imperialism, just saying. Now, to be fair, this was probably meant to be in-universe...probably, but more on that in a bit. The embarrassment of Britain's failure during the Suez Crisis was still very much fresh in everyone's minds in 1979. Furthermore, with decolonization in full swing, Britain had pretty much lost its entire overseas empire by 1979. I'm sure many British people were rather sore about that. There were grumblings all the way back to when India got its independence in 1947. It was also probably rather embarrassing to have a former settler colony overtake Britain as a major world power.

So, why do I say probably in-universe. Well, by the time the show as over, it was pretty clear to me that Robert Valentine seems to hate the United States quite a bit. Almost all the American characters are completely evil, and with little to no redeeming qualities. The Americans of Red Moon are largely depicted as greedy capitalists, zealous jingos, and blood-thirsty warmongers. It is certainly true that America did some screwed up things during the Cold War. The Vietnam War alone contains examples ranging from the My Lai Massacre to the drafting of mental handicapped individuals.

However, the villains of Red Moon were completely over-the-top, to the point of coming across as cartoonishly evil. I was half expecting them to eat puppies and kittens at some point. They felt more like James Bond villains than legitimate villains in an alternate history audio drama. This is compounded by the fact that we only ever see one Soviet character, and he's practically a saint compared to the Americans. He waxes about how the Soviets never wanted the Space Race, and it's all because the big bad Americans forced them into. Again, that could have been an in-universe remark, but given the track record thus far, I have my doubts. The Soviets definitely took part in the Space Race of their own volition, and they aimed to win.

And now let's talk about what the big evil plan is. At first, it seems like it is a rouge general doing it, but it turns out the orders are coming from the president himself. The plot is to blow up the Russian moon base, but that runs the risk of sparking World War III. So, the American moon base will bomb Juneau, Alaska as a false flag. Then, America can destroy the Soviet Union once and for all. See what I meant about the Americans being more like bad James Bond villains?

Now, this all could have worked as a satirization of Cold War paranoia, but unfortunately, the premise is played completely straight without the slightest hint of irony or humor. Sorry gang, but Dr. Strangelove this is not. For that matter, even playing the premises seriously, showing a potential dark side to a Space Race that never ended, could have worked. It could have, but it would need to be in the hands of a far more competent writer.

Valentine said that he had the idea for Red Moon for a while, but were galvanized to do it because of the election of Donald Trump and the passing of Brexit. Uh, if Brexit was an inspiration, then why are Americans the villains? Also, why do they care that Trump was, at the time they wrote Red Moon, president of the United States? There is a big blue wobbly thing called the Atlantic Ocean that separates America from Britain.

So, does this mean Red Moon is loaded with anti-Trump and anti-Brexit moralizing? Surprisingly, no. If fact, had I not known, I wouldn't have suspect that Trump and Brexit were influences on Red Moon. If anything, I'd suspect the Robert Valentine just really hated America and Americans.

There is a brief scene at the end where the president is ousted from power, and reporters remark on him spending a bunch of time golfing, but that's about it. Don't ask who it was, they never say. In our world, Jimmy Carter was president in 1979, but I can't see him going for something like armed moon bases. That would be more Ronald Reagan's thing, and he didn't become president until 1981. I'd call it lazy writing, but that would be redundant at this point. Of course, the bigger sin of Red Moon is that it's just so boring and poorly paced.  

And I don't think any of this is due to the writer of Red Moon being British. What If? Russians on the Moon! was created by a pair of Frenchmen, and yet it managed to tell a compelling, well-written, excellently paced story with excellent research. It also featured compelling morally complex and engaging characters without demonizing either the Americans or the Soviets. Seriously, go read What If? Russians on the Moon! Likewise, The Soyuz Files also succeeds in all of these categories, and you should absolutely listen to it instead of Red Moon.

The Wireless Theatre Company has some other audio dramas, and perhaps I'll give them a try some time. However, if Red Moon is anything to go off of, I'm won't be setting my expectations too high.

So, yeah. Red Moon took an excellent premise for an alternate history audio drama, and completely bungled it. It has terrible pacing, flat characters, anti-American bias that borders on bigotry, and worst of all, it is just so utterly boring. Don't waste your time with this sinker. If you want an actual quality audio that explores the aftermath of a Soviet moon landing, listen to The Soyuz Files. And if you're hungry for more Soviet moon landing alternate history, read What If? Russians on the Moon!

Well, that should do it from me for now. I will see you guys next time.