Christmas, it’s that most wonderful time of the year.
As much as I tend to complain about how the buildup takes away from other
holidays, such as Halloween and Thanksgiving, I still love this time of year
nonetheless. Could it be the cool weather, the gift giving, the joyous spirits
or perhaps all of the above? I’ve had many fond Christmas memories over the
years, and hopefully many more to come. Whatever the reason I’ve got some great
stories to get you in that Christmas spirit. I say Christmas and not Holidays
because there’s not that many speculative fiction stories based around Hanukkah
and Kwanza. Well I found one Hanukkah story, but I’m saving it for the
Lovecraft special.
As you may have notice by the timing of this posting, we're having Christmas in July. Well, an early Christmas in July, but it still counts. I was able to find so many stories that I had to
split this special into two parts. Don’t worry, part two will be here before
you know it.
So hope in my sleight, and grip on the reigns, the
time for stories tis only a short bit away…
“Catching
the Spirit” by Heather Shaw and Tim Pratt
Narrated by Big Anklevich
A PodCastle Original
It’s often said that Christmas brings out the spirit
of generosity in people. In this story it literally does. People are coming
down with manic bouts of generosity that cause them to give away everything
they own, all while being happier than ever, and nobody knows why. Nobody, that
is, save a crabby old man living in rural Minnesota with eight reindeer. In
cast it wasn’t obvious, the old man is of course Santa Claus.
Every year around Christmas time PodCastle commissions
a story from Tim Pratt and Heather Shaw; so expect to see their names come up a
few times. I liked how this story brought a humanizing element to Santa. We get
to see Santa make mistakes and double his purpose in life. Yet at the same time
we also see Santa pick himself up, dust off his bruises and keep pressing on.
It was also nice to see the story talk about how even the smallest act of
kindness can have a big impact on someone else’s life.
Big Anklevich is one of the hosts of the Dunesteef
Podcast, and he does a great job with the narration for this story. It’s a
story that’s sure to lift your spirits, and get you in the spirit and…okay,
I’ll stop. Anyway, it’s a story that is well worth your time.
“Seasonal
Disorder” by Heather Shaw and Tim Pratt
Narrated by Christiana Ellis
A PodCastle Original
This story follows the Snow Queen, the living
personification of winter and the cold. She’s been living a pretty low-key life
these last few centuries due to a lack of followers. All of that changes when
she received a message from an ice elf. The Sun King is going to ignite the sun
to speed up the evolution of life on Europa, but in the process, Earth will be
destroyed. Can the Snow Queen stop him in time?
Almost all of the major symbols and traditions
associated with our modern Christmas celebrations can trace their roots back to
pagan religious practices. As such, it was nice to see a story that harkened
back to those pagan roots in its own unique way. Though this story did make me
wonder about the other seasonal royalty in its world. The Sun King’s plan for
Europa kind of reminded me of a fantasy version of Arthur C. Clarke’s 2010:
Odyssey Two. I also really enjoyed the Snow Queen’s irreverent and
laid-back attitude; in contrast with the Sun King’s pomp and self-importance.
Christiana really nailed it were her performance of
the Snow Queen’s snarky and sarcastic personality.
It tis the season, and this
is a story that I happily recommend.
“The
Christmas Mummy” by Heather Shaw and Tim Pratt
Narrated by Rish Outfield
Originally Published in A Christmas Chapbook
This story follows two kids named Trish and Nate who
sure they’re in for a great Christmas. Their supercool adventurer archeologist
of an uncle has come to visit, and ninja elves have delivered presents to them.
Then their uncle’s old rival, Hitler Moriarty, drops in for a visit. Can the
kids save the day and find the true meaning of Christmas?
And with this story we’ve bowled a turkey of great
Heather Shaw and Tim Pratt stories. I loved how this story juxtaposes various
pulp adventure tropes alongside a typical suburban Christmas. This is a fun
little story that is perfect to share with any kids in your life. I had to
smile whenever Professor Moriarty referenced the pagan origins of Christmas, it
reminded me of Christmas conversations with my own family. It’s got magic,
mummies and Christmas mayhem. What more could you ask for?
Rish Outfield, the other half of the Dunesteef
Podcast, does a great job with the narration. It’s magical Christmas fun the
whole family can enjoy. I couldn’t recommend it more.
Narrated by Wilson Fowlie
A PodCastle Original
This story follows a young boy named Alex who has
decided to runaway to Santa's workshop. He did this to escape his strict and
overbearing parents. Working at the North Pole isn't quite all it's cracked up
to be, but he makes the best of it. He's making his way through he ranks, but
is he truly happy with his new life?
At one point or another every child has thought about
running away to somewhere. It could be someplace real like the circus, or
someplace made up like Hogwarts of Camp Half-Blood. The point is, sometimes we
think we'd be better off without our parents. That's true if your parents are
genuinely abusive, but in most cases, you really might want to think twice.
Parents make mistakes, and sometimes they're too strict, but it comes from a
place of wanting the best for their children. Alex certainly learns this during
his stay at the North Pole. At the same time, Santa acknowledges that Alex's
parents do need to loosen-up. I liked how they weren't completely off the hook.
Speaking of which, let's talk about the scene during
Thanksgiving dinner. Alex has decided to be vegetarian, but his parents make
him eat turkey, because his uncle is a turkey farmer. Alex tires to slather it
with cranberry sauce, but his dad says "Oh no you don't! You'll eat it with
gravy like everyone else." I ask you, what kind of cold, cruel, heartless
monster denies an innocent child delicious cranberry sauce?! I know a lot of
people put emphasis on gravy, but my family never makes special gravy for
Thanksgiving. We use cranberry sauce, and I never understood the emphasis on
gravy, but I digress.
As for the narration, Wilson does a spot on job. A
story that draws on memories of childhood, and one that I recommend.
Narrated by Brie Code
A PodCastle Original
This story follows a woman named Holly who is doing
her best to lead a quiet suburban life with her husband Corey and her son Rye.
This is complicated when her family decides to drop in for a visit.
They're...something supernatural. Gods? Spirits? Fay? Demons? The point is,
they're not human. Whatever her family really are, Holly's holiday season just
got a lot more stressful.
It was nice to have another story that harkens back to
the pagan roots of Christmastime. I always enjoy stories they provide a
perspective flip on a familiar concept. With this story when see the familiar
narrative of a young boy discovering that his is magical, and about to be
whisked away on a magical adventure. However, we see it from the perspective of
the parents. Sort of a Percy Jackson and the Olympians from Mrs. Jackson's
point-of-view. So just what are Holly's parents? I'm inclined to say Fair Folk,
as they can't drink water from metal pipes. On that other hand, that just makes
things murkier. Some scholars think that the Fair Folk were originally gods,
but devolved into spirits due to the influence of Christian missionaries. Well,
in any event, if you're ever feeling stressed during the holidays, just listen
to this story and you'll feel better.
I thought that Brie did an excellent job with the
narration. A story that shows, no matter how different our families are, at the
end of the day we all go through the same stress during the holidays. I happily
recommend it.
Narrated by Rish Outfield
A PodCastle Original
This story is a sequel to "The Christmas
Mummy," but you don't have to have listen to it to understand this one.
Trish, Nate and their family are back for a Christmas vacation in Micronesia.
Of course, given what story this is a sequel to, it isn't long before vacation
time is interrupted by the Lovecraftian deity named Peshtiri Mobdybelig. Hey,
with this family the holidays are anything but ordinary.
Just as last time juxtaposed Pulp Adventure with a
suburban Christmas, this time we get Cosmic Horror thrown into the mix. It goes
without saying that it all works out in the end, but it was a fun journey to
get there. It is mentioned that Peshtiri Mobdybelig is placated via a ritual
that involves two goats,none red and one white, that have feasted only on mint
and sugar. I can't believe I didn't get the solution sooner. I also loved how
Peshtiri Mobdybelig came across as rather polite and jovial at times.
I also really loved Rish's narration, as per usual.
Another fun Christmas story that you won't want to miss out on.
This story follows a boy named Alexander. His village looks forward every year to a celebration called River's Giving. After performing a ritual, gifts in contained within capsules float down the river to the village. This year however, the gifts do not come. Alexander must set off into the mountains from which the river flows to find the answer why. It is a quest that will take him into the lair of a great and powerful dragon.
In the last few years, I've noticed that there are inflatable Halloween dragons some people put out. Apparently, these were popular enough to also spawn inflatable Christmas dragons you can put in your front lawn. I've always wanted to get one, but never got around to it. Oh well, maybe next year. Personally, I think it's really great that dragons are becoming more integrated into our holidays.
I bring all of this up because of what Alexander finds. Turns out, it isn't the rituals that bring the gifts. They came from a dragon's hoard, but there's a hole the let's them slip out into the river. However, the dragon plugged the hole, so no more gifts. Thankfully, Alexander convinces the dragon that it is better to give than to receive, and they become a weird fantasy Santa duo, except they're a boy and a dragon. Hey, I love and it works, that's all that matters. This is River Shaw's first published story, and based on this, I think we can expect great things from him in the future.
Kyle did a great job with the narration. It's a Christmas story with a dragon in it? How can I not recommend it?
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original
This story follows an unnamed narrator who has fallen
down on his luck. He’s had a chance encounter with an old homeless man who
claims to have met the actual Santa Claus. Our narrator has always hated
Christmas, but he’s about to experience the holiday in a way he’s never
anticipated before.
Okay, I know that really doesn’t sound like much, but
I swear this is a really great story. First off, I loved how this story
incorporated various myths about Santa from around the world, with special
emphasis on the Krampus. Now, for those who might not know, Krampus is said to
be a demon bound to the service on St. Nicholas. One night every year Krampus
seeks out naughty children, stuff them into sacks and whips them with switches.
His legend hails from Bavaria, Austria and Croatia. Now that we’ve had our
folklore lesson for the day, let’s get back to the review.
This story felt kind of heartwarming, though in the
Drabblecast’s own weird and unique way. We never find out the name of the
protagonist, but I do know Norm Sherman’s name. I also know that he does a
great job with the narration.
It’s unusual, weird, heartwarming and I wouldn’t have
it any other way.
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original
This story followers the reindeer Dasher. He's grown
disillusioned with pulling Santa's sleigh, and wishes to do something more with
his life. Santa is aware of this, and it just so happens that a qilin from
China has volunteered to fill the spot. Dasher and the qilin are to compete in
a race around the world, and the winner gets a spot on Santa's sleigh team.
I always love it when stories introduce me to new
mythological creatures. I kind of suspected how the story was going to end. All
the same, I was still rooting for the qilin to win, because the thought of one
of those pulling Santa's sleigh was just too much fun. Still, Dasher does learn
that his work does have value to the children of the world. So there's plenty
of heartwarming moments to go with the fun and action.
As per usual, Norm's narration is spot-on. A fun and
heartwarming story with a dash of mythology. I recommend it.
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original
This story follows a man named Kieron at a Christmas
party. He receives a present from a mysterious red-haired woman named Elsie. He
now has the power to grant wishes as Dirty Santa. Unfortunately, everyone's
heart's desire doesn't always work out for the best. Kieran's got to find a way
to break free from his curse before it's too late.
I enjoy these stories Tim makes that feature Elsie.
While overall this was an enjoyable story, I didn't like that it hinted at her
past. I know she's appeared in some of the books Tim has written, so maybe I'm
missing something. All the same, characters like Elsie work best when they're
given as little backstory as possible. We don't know much about Willy Wonka or
Ms. Frizzle, but we don't need to. They're awesome just the way they are. In
fact, giving them definitive backstories can often work against them. Now this
isn't to say that I didn't enjoy this story. I liked it quite a bit. Kieron
hold the distinction of being one of the few people to meet Elsie and live to
tell the tale.
Once again, Norm does an excellent job with the
narration. Another good, if a bit flawed, Tim Pratt Christmas story. I say give
it a try.
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original
This story follows Santa Claus, but he's a bit different than what you're probably envisioning. He's given up on giving presents and instead focuses on dishing out justice. Specifically, he tracks down particularly powerful wicked individuals and slays them on behalf of all those whose lives they have ruined and/or taken. This time, Santa is on his biggest assignment yet. The fury Tisiphone has asked him to kill the Greek god Apollo.
This is actually a sequel to another story Tim Pratt wrote for The Drabblecast. However, that story wasn't very good, hence it didn't make the list. Don't worry, you don't need to have listened to that story to enjoy this one. Indeed, I greatly enjoyed this story. By now you should probably know that I love pretty much anything that involves Greek Mythology, or mythology in general. It was a bemusing coincidence that this story came out when it did. I had recently finished The Trials of Apollo, the second sequel series to Percy Jackson and the Olympians. A big part of The Trials of Apollo is that the god Apollo learned to be a better person via his (mis)adventures. Whereas in this story...well, it seems that death is the only redemption.
It's a fun story, don't get me wrong, but it felt a bit too short. The confrontation with Apollo happens straight away, without much build-up. Santa doesn't really encounter much in the way of challenge. Well, he does attack at night, when Apollo is at his weakest. Still, Apollo doesn't provide any challenge, and generally feels like a god well past his prime. In fact, Santa almost comes across as merciful for seemingly putting Apollo out of his misery. Also, Apollo gets instantly reincarnated, since the sun can't die due to the whole Sol Invictus /eternal sun thing. However, he reincarnates as a new goddess of dawn. Slight problem, given that Greco-Roman Mythology already has one of those. The Greeks knew her as Eos, while the Romans called her Aurora.
Still, it is nice that Santa has someone to keep him company now. Mrs. Claus, the elves, and all the reindeer save Rudolph left him after he got into the assassin business. Norm did an excellent job as always with the narration.
A story of Santa as you've never seen him before, and one I recommend.
Narrated by Tina Connolly
An Escape Pod Original
This story follows the reminder Vixen. She's grown
jealous of all the attention Donner had gotten because of her boy Rudolph.
Vixen and her husband have turned to genetic engineering in hopes that their
daughter will be special. But is that really such a good idea?
You know, I never considered what gender Santa's
reindeer are. I always assumed male, but I guess they could be female to. I
always did wonder why a boy reindeer would be named Vixen. Female reindeer have
antlers too; though theirs’s are smaller than male reindeers'. This is another
of those stories that provides another side of a well-known tale. Apparently,
Rudolph wasn't bullied for his nose. He's a jerk and a prima donna who gave the
other reindeer plenty of legitimate reasons to hate him. So, yeah. Vixen gets
her special baby, but the other reindeer also want special kids.
This has the unfortunate side effect of getting all of
original reindeer replaced. Now the original eight are reduced to stage moms,
living vicariously through their kids. I'd add there might be another issue.
Presumably the super reindeer will have kids of their own, and who knows what
their powers might be. All I'm say is that a reindeer with atomic powers might
be pretty dangerous. Also, what if the reindeer don't want to use their powers
for good?
I'd been listening to the podcast Toasted Cake a lot
when I listened to this story. As Aristotle observed, any virtue taken to an
extreme becomes a vice. I did groan just a tad when I heard Tina would be
narrating. Like I said, too much of a good thing and all that. However, all
things considered, she did a good job.
A satirical take on Christmas icons. This story gets
presents for Christmas.
Narrated by Alasdair Stuart
This story follows a trio of ghost hunters on
Christmas Eve. They've been hired by a Mr. Ebenezer Scrounge to deal with some
spirits that have come to visit him.
This story fails to deliver despite a potentially fun
premise. The characters were bland and forgettable. I had little to no idea
about any of their motivations or personalities. In fact, it invoked the eight
worst words you can say to an author: I don't care what happens to these characters.
Alasdair's narration only served to compound the problems. It felt like his
heart just wasn't in the narration, and like he was phoning it in. He made no
effort to differentiate the characters. He gave them all the same emotionless
monotone voice, and it was hard to keep track of who was who. That's an issue
I've had with his narrations. Even when they're good they are...well, good, but
not great. He might be an excellent orator, but as a narrator, Alasdair leaves
something to be desired. Still, he did improve his hosting skills with time.
Perhaps he will eventually improve his narration skills as well.
This story gets coal for Christmas. Don't waste your
time with this one.
This story begins not too long before Christmas. Shawn is a young boy who has recently moved to Florida, from New York City, with his mom. He is not happy about this one bit. Ella, a girl from his neighborhood, is determined to cheer him up. Before long, however, the two kids make a startling discovery. Santa Claus himself has moved to Florida. He's become disillusioned after the Nice List dropped to zero. With Christmas fast on the way Shawn and Ella, with some help from one of Santa's elves, are going to have to rekindle Santa's Christmas spirit.
I really enjoyed this one. It's aimed towards kids, but it can be enjoyed by listeners of all ages. One aspect that I particularly want to praise is that the kids are voiced by actual kids. Gavin Lahmon and Ambria Rodgers voice Shawn and Ella respectively. They both gave especially praiseworthy performances. I see bright futures in the world of audio fiction and voice acting for both of them. In fact, the whole cast gave excellent performances. I also liked that Shawn was written as a bit of a jerk, but still somewhat sympathetic even before we find out just why he is so bitter. It is a delicate balancing act to write character like that, and Blair pulled it off well.
There were some aspects of the story that reminded me a bit of Arthur Christmas, but nothing wrong with that. Arthur Christmas is one of my favorite Christmas movies. What else can I say? It's a really fun Christmas story, and I happily recommend it.
This story follows a bumbling magician named Henry Hinkle. He used to be a major star of the stage, but these days he struggles to find even the most meager of gigs. He desperately wishes to prove to his daughter Karen that he isn't a failure. His only solace is his performing partner, a talking rabbit named Hocus Pocus. Then, Henry gets his chance when he finds an old silk hat with more than a bit of magic in it. It's a dream come true, but Henry will soon find that the hat has a mind of its own.
As I've said in the past, I enjoy stories that flip the perspective on familiar tales we've all heard before. This was no exception. This episode depicts Hocus Pocus as being a woman. I always assumed the rabbit was male, but I guess technically its gender was never specified. I did like her characterization as a sleazy scheming sidekick. Also, Karen and the magician are father and daughter here, despite not being related in the special. But hey, that change worked out perfectly. I think doing the perspective flip would have been harder if they hadn't been related. And I liked how their relationship developed.
Frosty himself acts pretty much as he did in the special, but with twist. He doesn't wear the hat, the hat wears him. That is, he's a construct created by the hat, so it's questionable if he is truly sentient or not. The story definitely went in some directions I wasn't excepting, but I'll leave that for you to discover one your own. Great performances all around from the whole cast.
A fun twist on a holiday classic, and one that I happily recommend.
Narrated by Eric Luke
Originally Published in Strange Horizons
This story takes place far into the future. So far
that it is almost at the end of the universe itself. It is a strange and
unfathomable place, but Santa still delivers presents to children, such that
they are. This Christmas, however, the number of children is at an all-time
low. Santa is about to do battle with the forces of entropy itself.
Certainly one of the more unusual entries to the list,
but that just makes it more enjoyable. It is comforting to think that, even as
the universe grows dark and cold, some things will remain constant. In this
story we see Santa not just as someone who brings joy to children, but also as
a defender of children. Greg certainly has a very active imagination to come up
with a story like this. Likewise, Eric certainly has great narrating skills.
A science fantasy Christmas experience bursting with
imagination and heart. Of course I recommend it.
Narrated by Graeme Dunlop
This story follows a boy named Sam who is attending a
school to learn how to use magic. Sam and his classmates are magikkers, meaning
they have only enough magic within them to each perform one great act of magic,
and after that their magic will be all used up. Once they’ve run out of magic
they’ll have to get by with slight-of-hand and optical illusions. Sam is facing
a dilemma about if he ought to save his magic or use it for the sake of the
school’s headmaster.
We’ll end part one of the Christmas Special with a
story about the magic of giving to others. Here we have a young boy who is
swept up into a tantalizingly magical world, but he only gets to have the
briefest of tastes. Sam’s choice ultimately comes down to how he wants the
legacy of his magic to be remembered. It’s pretty obvious that he goes on to
use his one act of magic as a selfless act, but it didn’t take away from how
touching this story was. Graeme’s gentle and kind voice was the perfect fit for
this story.
I think that’s enough from me, go ahead and give this wonderful little story a
listen.
Conclusion
Well we've had our fun, but now I must run. In this
summer heat I'll surely melt away. But though I wave goodbye, you must not cry,
I'll be back with part two of this Christmas Special before you know it. I will
see you all for part two next time. Speaking of which, part two is now available.
