Riordan Retrospective: 9 From the Nine Worlds

Welcome once again to my Riordan Retrospective.  For those just joining the fun, this is my look back at Percy Jackson, its sequels and spin-off.  It's less of a formal review and more casual.  Last time, we took a look at The Burning Maze.  This time we're finishing our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  We're taking a look at 9 From the Nine Worlds. 

This is a short story collection.  Magnus is off visiting with Annabeth, but his friends are all still having adventures.  Each story takes place in one of the nine worlds, and follows one of Magnus' friends.  The common theme is Thor jogging through the nine worlds to train with his Fitbit. 

Well, this book was exactly what I expected.  I expected it to be terrible, and it was.  The main problem was that all of the stories were way too short.  Most of the other short story collections had three or four stories.  This book, by contrast, has nine.  Each of them are roughly half the length of one of the stories from the other collections.  This isn't nearly enough time to properly develop the stories or characters.  As a result, the stories are little more than glorified action scenes.  The choice to have all of the stories be told in first-person didn't help matters.  All of the narrations were generic, interchangeable, and lacked distinct personality and voice.  

Speaking of narration, we're going to shake things up by jumping right into the audiobook.  Almost all of the narrators were horribly miscast.  The one exception was Paul Boehmer as Odin.  Now, most audiobooks about teenagers and kids will be narrated by adults, but the narrators will usually sound at least ballpark correct.  Well, they will if the people in charge of the production are competent.  That's not the case here, as the narrators are all quite obviously adults.  Moreover, they don't even sound remotely like how their characters ought to.  Each story has its own narrator.  I'll get into specifics as we dissect each story. 

The first story begins in Asgard, and sees Odin looking for a new captain of the Valkyries.  Overall, I'd say this was my favorite story of the collection, not that it means much.  What I loved about this story was the way it re-railed Odin's personality, and brought it more in line with the original mythology.  Odin could be pretty grouchy and nasty in the original myths.  He was also just as devious and prone to trickery as Loki was.  The two really weren't as different as you might think. 

One of the candidates is Boudicca; the Celtic queen from England who lead a failed resistance campaign against the Romans.  Okay, what's a Celtic queen doing in the Norse afterlife?  From The Trials of Apollo, we know that Chinese, Aztec, Mesopotamian, Thai, Hindu and Yoruba Mythology are all real in the Riordanverse.  It stands to reason that Celtic Mythology would be real as well.  So that irked me.  Then, of course, we got an appearance by Heimdall's lobotomized twin brother.  Oh, dear sweet Heimdall, noble guardian of the rainbow bridge, what has that madman done to you?  Look at how he massacred our boy!  We also get mentally scared by the image of Thor in tight leather shorts.  

Like I said, this is the high point of the book.  It's all downhill from here.

We're off to Midgard, where Amir is being fitted for some new pants.  Ah, but these aren't ordinary pants.  They're magic pants that will squeeze him to death, for they are made from the skin of his ancestors.  Seriously, this guy got his own story?  Annabeth has yet to get a first-person narration, but this guy gets a story?  It was a dreadfully dull story, and the narration certainly didn't help.  Besides being dull, the narrator had a deep voice, which made it even creepier than Amir mentions that's he's going to marry his cousin Sam.  As if that wasn't disturbing in and of itself!  

Next we head to Nidavellir, where Blitz is on the run.  You see, he's run afoul of Alviss, the dwarf of tried to marry one of Thor's daughters.  There really isn't much to this one.  It's just Blitz trying to evade Alviss' goons, and then stopping them with that portable sun thing he built for Hearth.  I found the narrator's voice was a bit too deep for Blitz.  Anyway, moving on. 

We then move to Alfheim, where Hearth is returning to his family's former estate to deal with a troublesome troll.  Okay, this story was just plain surreal.  The narrator actually sounded pretty close to how I imagine Hearth sounding, but the fact that Hearth is deaf makes the whole thing downright bizarre.  It's gets even worse when you remember that's Hearth is also mute, and if you listen to the audiobook, you run the risk of losing your sanity.

So, we're treated to another glorified action scene, and are left with a feeling of incompleteness.  Get use to it, gang, it only gets worse from here.  Granted, I am glad that Hearth reunites with Inge, and there are hints of a budding romance between the two of them.  Still, this story was seriously lacking in substance. 

Next we head to Jotunheim.  Sam has been tasked by Odin to retrieve an egg that will hatch into a rooster that will signal the beginning of Ragnarok.  Well, Sam made it throughout this story without mentioning that she's a Muslim every twelve seconds, beyond one mention of hijab.  I guess you have to be thankful for the small things.  Then again, this story was yet another glorified action scene.  The narrator sounded a bit too old, as with most of the other narrators.  Moving right along.  

We're off to Helheim, where TJ is roped into doing Hel's dirty work.  Oh great, more demonization of Hel so that Riordan can have villain not named Loki.  Damn it Rick, you know better than to warp the mythology!  Well, we do get to see Balder, which was kind of interesting.  I wondered if he was going to eventually show up.  Of course, this story is so short we hardly get to appreciate that.  I've said that the narrators were miscast, and boy does it show here.  The narrator does not sound remotely like a teenage.  He sounds like a grown-ass man!  To make matters even worse, TJ describes his deceased mother in almost sexual terms, which the narrator makes sound downright creepy.  As though there wasn't enough incest in this series as it was. 

Moving right along, Malory has unexpectedly found herself in the land of Niflheim.  Worse she's facing Nidhogg, the dragon who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil.  She's going to have to teach him some new insult to hurl at Ratatosk. 

Rick Riordan has always prided himself on being a relatively family-friendly writer.  There's certainly nothing wrong with that, I don't think it hurts the books, for the most part.  Unfortunately, that family-friendly image came to bite him in the ass here.  He couldn't have Malory say anything too edgy, so she winds up teaching Nidhogg the sort of things you might hear on an elementary school playground.  Really?  That's the best you got?  It just seems odd that Nidhogg wouldn't have heard those along time ago.  Also, wow, the narrator has to have one of the worse Irish accents I've ever heard.  Next!

The penultimate story follows Halfborn as he good looking for Malory.  He takes a wrong door and winds up in Vanaheim.  Not that the narrators has been all that good, but the one for this story was especially bad.  You'd expect Halfborn's narrator to be deep and husky, or boisterous.  Not the case here.  When I listen to the narration, I envision a dude wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt at some tech start-up.  In other words, not a dude who grew-up during the Viking Age!  There's a scene where Halfborn makes fun of the residents of Folkvangr for being peaceful.  Wow, when did Halfborn become such an asshole?  He's been accidentally insensitive, but never outright a dick.  

Our final story follows Alex and Jack as they are sent on a secret mission to Muspelheim.  This story was longer than the others, and almost felt like an actual complete story.  Almost, but not quite.  Well, in other small things to be thankful for, Alex wasn't too annoying, and the narrator almost wasn't half-bad.  Almost because she gave Jack an annoying Mexican accent.  Jack is not Mexican!  He's like those white people who throw random Spanish words into their sentences to sound cool.  

Now, remember when I said that Surt would have made a better villain than Loki?  Remember how I said that it would have been more interesting if he'd tried to rally the minor gods like Kronos did?  Guess who the villain of the story is?  Better yet, guess what his evil scheme is?  Riordan knew, he frinkin knew man!  He knew, and yet he chose otherwise, because clearly he wasn't interested in making Magnus Chase the best it could be.  I was very tempted to scream with frustration when I read this story.  There's a brief epilogue scene where Thor discovers that he forgot to turn on his Fitbit. 

Now let's take a look at the cover.  We see Yggdrasil floating in the cosmos with the nine worlds tucked in its branches.  Well, it has a nice cover, that's one thing I'm willing to give to this book. 

And with that we've covered 9 From the Nine Worlds.  It was just as awful as I expected.  The narrators were miscast, the stories too short for their own good, and I get the feeling that Riordan bit off more than he could chew.  With that, our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard has concluded. 

Now, we would be returning to The Trials of Apollo next, but I think we need something to wash out the taste 9 From the Nine Worlds left in my mouth.  I bit the bullet and bought the Demigods and Magicians audiobooks from iTunes, and I loved them.  So that's going to be our next port of call.   

Join me again next time when we take a look back at the Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles crossover extravaganza Demigods and Magicians.  I will see you guys next time.  

Riordan Retrospective: The Ship of the Dead

Welcome back to my Riordan Retrospective.  For those just joining the fun, this is my look back at Percy Jackson, its sequels and spin-offs.  This is less of a formal review and more of laid-back retrospective.  Last time we returned to The Trials of Apollo for a look back The Dark Prophecy.  This time we're finishing up our look back at Magnus Chase...at least until we have to look back at Nine From the Nine Worlds.  Anyway, we're taking a look back at The Ship of the Dead, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard book 3.  As per usual, let's have a brief summary. 

Loki has broken free from his chains and Naglfar, the ship of the dead, is about to set sail.  However, Magnus Chase and his friends are about to set sail on their own boat.  They're traveling to Norway to capture and rebind Loki.  If they fail it will mean Ragnarok, the end of the nine worlds, will be set in motion.

I think it's no secret that I hated The Hammer of Thor, so how does this book compare?  Well, it is an improvement, but the book could have been completely blank, and it would have been an improvement.  Still, let me give credit where it is due.  One of my biggest complaints about the previous books was that the Floor 19 gang were severely underutilized.  This book corrects this problem.  TJ, Malory and Halfborn are all along for the ride.  We also get more information about their pasts.  We learn that children of Tyr must answer any challenge they are given, and this is what caused TJ's death.  Of course, his biggest shock upon getting to Hotel Valhalla was that the Valkyries also claimed dead Confederates, including he guy that killed him.  They're less concerned with the justice of what you fight for, and more about how strongly you fought for it.  Wait a minute, does that mean there are Nazis and Soviets in Hotel Valhalla?  It is mentioned that a lot of people learn to change with the times, or else become recluses boarded-up in their rooms.  Though, I still say that TJ and Malory are way too woke about transgender stuff. 

Another big shock is that TJ and Halfborn used to not like each other, and Malory had to convince them to be friends.  Pity that we didn't get more details about that.  Speaking of Malory, we finally find out who her godly parent is: Frigg.  Yes, the Norse goddess of marriage, unlike her Greek counterpart, isn't above mothering demigod children.  This is consistent with certain myths where Frigg allowed herself to be taken hostage, or was taken hostage against her will, and had to be rescued by Odin.  This would mean Malory is Odin's stepdaughter, and I do wish more had been made of that.

So, the gang are setting sail for Norway, a sort of reverse of the Norse voyages to America.  They stop in York, since it was founded by the Norse and used to be named Jorvik.  Now, it might seem odd that the Norse would found a settlement so far inland, but the English coastline was different during the Viking Age.  Back then, York was indeed located on the coast. The scenes in York were good, as were the scenes in Norway.  Still, I do wish they'd gone to more places like Iceland, Dublin, Denmark, Sweden, Canada, and maybe Russia too.  Like I said, Magnus Chase feels a bit more provincial compared to the other series.

Okay, I've been putting it off for long enough, lets talks about what I didn't like. Well, let's maintain a little positivity.  I found Alex less annoying than last time. Of course, this is Alex we're talking about, so that's a relative term.  Saying Alex was less annoying is like saying death by firing squad is less painful than lethal injection.  I'm just saying, when we see flashbacks of Alex and her abusive dad, I was rooting for the dad.  It was cathartic to see someone yelling at Alex.  Naturally, she and Magnus become a couple, which is one of the most depressing ending I could think of, given how toxic their relationship is.  There's also a part where she complains about her dad being a sell-out for trying to market her family's Mexican cook wear.  As I've said before, it's kind of hypocritical that Rick, who isn't hurting for money, is trying to lecture us about how money isn't everything.

I will say the scene where Hearth's dad is turned into a dragon, due to a cursed ring, did a much better job of conveying that point.  Though I still maintain the elves shouldn't have been a caricature of the one percent.  While Alex may have gotten slightly better, Samirah has gotten even worse.  You could make a drinking game out of how many times the book said "and then Sam prayed."  Actually, don't do that.  You'll destroy your liver and probably die.  This time round, Samirah is putting her own life, and everyone else's lives, in needless danger by fasting for Ramadan.  They pay lip-service to the "you can skip it if your life is in danger" bit, but no, Ms. Token Muslim is sticking to it no matter how stupid and idea it is.  As I've said before, so-called progressive white writers have no trouble calling out blind faith in white people.  However, when brown people do it, suddenly blind faith isn't so bad.

Also, Samirah claims that you can't bathe during Ramadan, which is flat-out untrue.  Cleanliness is a big part of Islam.  I guess Riordan isn't as well-read about Islam as he likes to claim.  Yeah, putting everyone at risk because of your stupid religion isn't admirable, it is both selfish and deplorable.  I've previously stated how disgusting it is that Riordan is promoting arranged incest marriages, modesty culture and guardianship culture, so I wouldn't repeat myself.  Also, Samirah claims people tell her to go back to her own country...in progressive-ass Massachusetts.  Uh, this is supposed to be our world, right?  Well, I can think of one way that might happen, but then Rick would have to admit that minorities can be racist against other minorities.

Now let's talk about mythology.  Aegir was way too woke, for lack of a better word.  Why the Helheim would a Norse god have halal meals on offer?!  As I've said, the universe in bending over backwards to accommodate the resident Muslim Sue.  I also didn't like how Aegir was depicted as a hipster; as if Riordan hadn't neutered the gods enough as is.  Well, moving on, the big fight with Loki is...disappointing.  He and Magnus get into a name-calling contest, basically.  Talk about an anti-climax.  Magnus doesn't even insult Loki, he talks up his friends.  This wasn't too bad, except for his praise of Alex and Samirah, but it still could have been better.  It almost felt like Riordan was trying to copy the end of Eight Mile, but failed to deliver the emotional pay-off.  Should he have made it a rap contest? I don't know, that could easily have gone badly, but with proper execution...never mind, it would need proper execution, something Magnus Chase sorely lacks.

Also, Sigyn shouldn't have betrayed Loki.  In the myths, she was a loyal wife, and he never treated her badly.  Then again, considering how Riordan grossly oversimplified Loki's character, perhaps expecting him to be true to the myths is asking too much.

Well, by the end of the book, Magnus has turned the old Chase mansion into a home/waystation for homeless kids.  He names it the Chase Space, and I wonder if it might eventually evolve into the Norse version of Camp Half-Blood or Brooklyn House.  Speaking of which, Percy makes a cameo at start of the story.  Well, I guess that one nice thing I can say for this book.  Though it would have been better if Percy hadn't reminded us of Jason saving him underwater.  Damn it, Rick!  Why do you love Jason so damn much?!  Of course, that phone call...no, I'll save that for next time.  Anyway, we learn that Riptide is a girl sword...apparently.  Makes some sense, given that Riptide used to be Zoe Nightshade's hairpin.  I would have preferred if Percy had stabbed Alex when she said "respect the gender, dude" but I guess you can't win them all.  Also, Percy has a baby sister named Estelle now, and he is a loving big brother to her.  Gotta wonder how it's going to go when she gets older and the need arises to tell her about Percy's side of the family.

 Once again, the audiobook has a new narrator.  This time it is Michael Crouch.  He does a reasonably good job, but I still don't know why we got a different narrator in every book.  On the cover we see Magnus and Jack standing on a wave-swept shore.  Loki looms in the background, amidst the storms.  Not sure what the ship is.  Not Naglfar, it isn't made of nail, but it isn't yellow like the Big Banana that Magnus and the gang sail.  Also, why is Magnus wearing an orange shirt?  That’s Camp Half-Blood’s thing. 

Well, that should do it for now.  This book tried too course correct, but it was too little too late.  It also continued the bad trends of the previous books.  All in all, yet another disappointing book.  Well, at least there's only one more Magnus Chase book and then we're done for good.  Speaking of which, I have listened to Demigods and Magicians, so expect a retrospective of that after Nine From the Nine Worlds.  For now, however, we're going back to The Trials of Apollo.  Join me next time when we take a look back at The Burning Maze.  I will see you all next time. 

Riordan Retrospective: The Hammer of Thor

Welcome once again to the Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means we're taking a look at Percy Jackson, its sequel series and its spin-off series.  This is less of a formal review, and more of a look back, along with my thoughts and observations.  Last time we took a look back at the companion book Camp Half-Blood Confidential.  This time, we return to Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard for the moment you've all been waiting for.  We're taking at The Hammer of Thor, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard book 2.  Let's kick things off with a brief summary. 

Magnus Chase, son of the Norse god Frey, has been adjusting fairly well to his afterlife in Valhalla.  Ah, but things rarely stay calm for long.  Thor's hammer is missing again, and if Magnus and the gang don't it back, it could mean the start of Ragnarok.  To do this, Magnus will need the help of a green-haired genderfluid sociopath named Alex Fierro.  There's action and adventure as Magnus develops Stockholm Syndrome and begins a budding romance that has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship.  He's also got a massive Oedipus Complex going on.  Seriously dude, how many times are you going to compare Alex to your dead mom?  Along the way, he'll team up with his trusty sidekick Sam, who had degenerated into a token Muslim with no personality beyond her religion and being a walking oxymoron.  Also, Blitz and Hearth are there too.  So, get ready to get woke as Helheim, as Norse Mythology meets an overbearing political screed in a massive brain fart that Rick Riordan decided to turn into a book...for some reason. 

Yeah, as you can tell by my unusually bitter and sarcastic summary, I really, really hate this book.  I didn't think it was possible.  I never thought I'd see the day that Rick Riordan wrote a book that I loathed with every atom of my body.  Ah, but how the madman proved me wrong.  This is the moment I've been hint at for a while now.  Where do I even begin with this one?  

Well, let's start with the big one: Alex Fierro.  Imagine a scenario a bit like the movie Weird Science, but instead of creating a hot girl, something goes horribly wrong and the computer brings Tumblr to life.  That, in a nutshell, is Alex.  Riordan said he wanted to use Alex so that transgender kids would feel represented.  You might claim this is well intentioned, but as is often quoted, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Moreover, unless those transgender kids happen to jerks and sociopaths, they probably won't see themselves reflected in Alex.  The very first thing she says to Magnus, when he gets confused about her being trans, is "it's not my job to educate you!"  She says this, and yet she always flips out whenever someone gets her gender wrong.  Okay, so if it isn't your job to educate them, how are they supposed to know any of this?!  

Alex is clearly cast from the same mold as Thalia and Zia, but Riordan left out a critical component.  Thalia and Zia worked because they actually had sympathetic qualities and got called out when they went too far.  Alex, by contrast, lacks any sympathetic qualities and never gets called out for being a dick to everyone she encounters.  Riordan seems to have fallen into the trap of thinking that, because Alex is spunky and irreverent, she's a strong character.  He also seemed to be under the impression that, if he made the other characters love Alex, it would translate into the readers loving Alex.  Suffice it to say that this turned out to be very, very wrong.  He did this before with Jason and Piper, but it's even worse here.  

It almost feels like Alex is an example of black propaganda.  Black propaganda is where you pretend to be in favor of position A, but you're actually in favor of position B, and you're trying to make people who support position A look bad.  Also, let's talk about when Magnus first meets Alex and pontificates about homeless transgender kids.  The way the dialogue is written makes it sound like he's become possessed by a gender studies major.  Seriously, you expect me to believe a kid whose been living on the streets of Boston for the past two years would talk like that?  As for Alex being genderfluid, I find that suspect as well. It is hinted that this is due to her shape shifting abilities.  However, if that is the case, it makes for piss-poor representation.  Shocking as I’m sure you’ll find it, most people who identify as genderfluid are not shapeshifters.  I'm also baffled at how many LGBTQ awards this book won because of Alex.  Representation doesn't mean jack when the one transgender character has no empathy for other people, and is a total sociopath.    

Okay, enough about Alex, let's get on to the second major problem: Sam.  As I've previously stated, she had a lot of red flags that I really should have taken more seriously.  Whereas in Sword of Summer she was ambiguously Muslim, by Hammer of Thor, Sam is unabashedly Muslim.  So, she's a Muslim demigod...um, what?!  Yeah, Riordan bullshits about how Sam doesn't believe the gods are actual gods, but it just doesn't hold water.  How does she reconcile the fact that the afterlife is different than what Islam says?  For that matter, why would God have created the Norse gods at all?  Frankly, Sam's not being a skeptic or keeping an open-mind, she's in complete denial.  As Carter and Sadie Kane will tell you, denial ain't just a river in Egypt.  Riordan should have stuck to what Chiron said back in The Lightning Thief; the matter of capital-G God should have been kept out of the books.  Also, Magnus should not be calling himself an atheist!  He has rock-solid proof that there is an afterlife and gods.  I don't know what I'd be calling myself in his situation, but I sure wouldn't be calling myself an atheist anymore. 

The entire universe seemed to bend over backwards to accommodate Sam and her beliefs.  For example, there was the meeting with Heimdall.  I'm not sure I'm ever going to forgive Riordan for what he did to Heimdall.  In Norse Mythology, Heimdall is a noble and honorable god who guards the Bifrost bridge that links Asgard and Midgard.  He knows that one day Ragnork will come, and yet he doesn't run from his duty.  So, how does Riordan portray Heimdall?  Why, as an overgrown teenager who is addicted to his cellphone, of course.  Then, to add insult to injury, Riordan has Heimdall tell Sam that he doesn't believe he and the Aesir are actually gods, and he's with her.  It was at this point that I was very tempted to throw by head back and scream at the sky in frustration.  That scene further underscores the world bending over to accommodate Sam and her beliefs. 

Heimdall demonstrates a major flaw in the series: the gods as Riordan has written them, are too quirky for their own good.  Well, there are a few exceptions such as Frey and Vidar, but overall they're just too damn silly.  It is true that Rick has often given the gods little quirks and moments of silliness, but he always balanced it out with moments of seriousness and gravitas.  

Also, the pop cultural references.  My gods, this book is practically a time capsule of the mid-2010s.  It's like Riordan was unintentionally writing a period piece.  Rick said he purposefully avoided too many pop culture references in the Percy Jackson books so that they would have a timeless feel to them.  When he started using references in The Kane Chronicle and Heroes of Olympus, he did so sparingly.  He also referenced things that have been around for a while, such as Doctor Who and Marvel and DC Comics, so they would age well.  Here, it's like he's having a contest to see how many references he can cram in. 

Ironically, in his bid to be progressive, Riordan has promoted the most conservative aspects of Islam.  For example, he had Sam wearing a hijab.  Contrary to what the media might have to believe, over half of all the Muslim women in America don't wear the hijab.  There's also a certain irony of a supposedly strong female hero running around in a medieval chastity helmet.  Does this mean we're going to get a Mormon demigod who wears the special Mormon underwear?  Or maybe a Scientologist demigod who constantly quotes from Dianetics?  Yeah, don't hold your breath; Riordan wouldn't be able to score any political brownie points if he did that.  Sam talks about how the hijab is her choice.  However, this ignores the fact that, for Muslims women in most other parts of the world, hijab is most certainly not a choice.  These women will often face major social and legal repercussions if they dare appear in public with their hijab.  Way to kick them while they're down, Rick.

Also, Sam is in an arranged marriage...to her cousin.  Did Rick Riordan seriously just promote incest in the name of so-called diversity?  Oh, but it gets worse.  Sam takes an oath that she will not touch another man until she marries Amir.  Oh, and did I mention that she invokes Allah while making this oath in the presence of a pagan deity?  I can't be the only one who found the whole thing downright creepy and utterly cringeworthy.  Also, Sam and Amir must be chaperoned by a male guardian/authority figure whenever they're together.  What the actual Helheim, Rick!  Are you seriously promoting male guardianship culture?!  There are women in the Muslim world risking their lives to fight that shit!  Rick Riordan is spitting in the faces of Muslims Reformers and Ex-Muslims everywhere, and he doesn't even have the decency to call it rain!  

Riordan has said that Percy and Annabeth aren't getting engaged because they're too young.  Yeah, serious double standard there.  Apparently, teenagers getting engaged is okay if they're Muslim.  Also, here's another fact you probably didn't know, over sixty percent of all religiously motived hate crimes in America are committed against Jews.  Bizarrely enough, it took a while before we finally got a Jewish demigod.  Islam is not like Judaism.  You can be culturally Jewish even if you're an atheist; there's no such thing as a cultural Muslim.  Muslim denotes religion.  

Now, some people say Riordan made Sam to fight racism against Muslim.  Oh, really now, and just what kind of racism is that?  Is it against White Muslims from Chechnya?  Black Muslims from Nigeria?  Asian Muslims from Malaysia?  Brown Muslims from Bangladesh?  Or maybe Iranian Muslims who are so fair-haired and light-skinned that they look like white people?  Islam is a religion, not a race.  Also, Middle Eastern does not automatically mean Muslim.  Riordan ought to know this, give that Zia is a non-Muslim Middle Easterner.  

Well, enough about Sam for now, let's move on to other matters.  So there a scene where Magnus complains about Hotel Valhalla engaging in cultural appropriation...Mr. Riordan, did you seriously just have Magnus say that?!  Okay, one, cultural appropriation is...well, basically the history of how culture works.  Cultures have always mixed, matched and borrowed from each other.  It is exceedingly rare to find anything that doesn't owe some aspect of its existence to another culture.  Oh, and this is my favorite part, Rick Riordan wouldn't have a career if it weren't for cultural appropriation!  Tell me, Rick, are you Greek, Roman or Egyptian?  If not, then why did you write books about those mythologies?  Are you perhaps throwing around terms without knowing what they mean in a desperate attempt to prove you're down with the kids?  Is this why The Kane Chronicles has been treated like a red-haired stepchild as of late? Then again, Kane Chronicles is getting a movie, and Magnus Chase is not.  Be thankful for small mercies, I suppose. 

Moving on, the trip of Alfheim was very disappointing.  I had this problem a bit with Nidavellir in Sword of Summer, it just didn't feel magical enough.  Alfheim was exactly like a bog standard rich people suburb.  At times, I had to remind myself that those scenes were in the land of the light elves.  One of the big appeals of the Riordanverse, to me, is how it blends the mythical with the modern.  I love how it shows that there can be magic and adventure in America, and you don't have to go to some distant land for all that.  However, whenever Carter and Sadie go to the Duat, or Percy and company go to Mount Olympus, it's all properly mystical and otherworldly.  The Nine Worlds lean far too much on the mundane side of the equation.  

Magnus talks about how black homeless people are bullied by the police and...wait a minute.  In Sword of Summer, Magnus mentions a Latino policeman giving him and the other homeless people trouble so...did Rick Riordan accidentally admit that Latinos can be racist too?  Also, it's kind of hypocritical for Rick to be preaching about how money isn't everything.  He might not be a millionaire, but he's certainly not hurting for money either.  The really sad part is that Alfheim, and Hearth's abusive family, could have worked if Rick had put actual effort into writing it, rather than making it a caricature of the 1%.  

Let's see, I feel like I'm forgetting something.  What could it be?  Oh, yeah!  The gods of Asgard, allegedly, they were in this book too.  In Sword of Summer, I liked how Loki had a somewhat nuanced portrayal.  Well, that's all been thrown out the window come this book.  Loki was so mustache-twirlingly evil he came across as less a figure from Norse Mythology, and more like a villain on a Saturday Morning Cartoon.  There is way more too Loki than just his role in Ragnarok.  True, Loki did kill Balder.  However, the gods bound his son Fenris wolf, banish his daughter Hel to Helheim, turned his son Vali into a wolf that killed his other son Nari.  Then they killed Vali and used his intestines to bind Loki.  I guess what trying to say is, Loki has some damn good reasons to be pissed at the gods.  You could see him as representing consequences, for it was by harming his children that the gods made Loki their enemy.  

Moreover, Odin knew the prophecies of Ragnarok.  He knew that by doing these things he was guaranteeing that Loki would fight against him at Ragnarok, but he did them anyway.  Though, you could argue that Odin knew that he was as much a slave to destiny as Loki, so what would be the point of fighting it?  

Well, back to Political Pontificating with Uncle Rick, also staring Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  The Floor 19 gang were even more criminally underutilized than in the last book.  That's especially bad, given that they're all way more interesting than Alex and Sam!  Also, ugh, why oh why did she have to be named Sam?  Why Rick, why?!  I guess this is how people named Gabriel feel about Smelly Gabe.  In other underutilized characters, we get a cool cameo from Vidar at the end.  Sadly, he never returns.  I forgot to mention this last time, but it's made to seem like the gods are missing from Asgard and need to be gathered and reassembled.  This plot threat never goes anywhere, and is apparently a red herring.  Well, that or Rick just didn't care. 

As I've previously stated, Surt would have made a much better villain than Loki.  He's fated to kill Frey, Magnus' father, and would have made a fitting antagonist for Magnus.  He's been working on a flaming sword since the dawn of time.  When he completes the sword, it will be one of the things that will signal the start of Ragnarok.  

There's another mark against Magnus Chase as a series, going back to what I said about the gods being too silly.  In the past, even with Riordan having his fun and being silly, you could tell he had a deep respect and appreciation for the Greek, Egyptian and Roman myths.  That is totally absent here.  It feels like he's almost gleeful about the way he's pissing and shitting all over Norse Mythology.  

Well, guess I ought to analyze the cover.  We see Magnus standing before an oversized version of the titular hammer.  On either side are the faces of Thor and Loki. 

The audiobook version is one of the more redeeming aspects of The Hammer of Thor.  They've changed narrators with Kieran Culkin taking over as narrator.  Overall, he does a pretty good job, and doesn't sound too noticeably different from Christopher Guetig.  

What else can I say?  The Hammer of Thor sucks and I hated it.  This was the peak of the storm, but I'm not done tearing Magnus Chase to shreds yet.  We've still got to get through The Ship of the Dead and Nine From the Nine Worlds.  For now, however, we're going to return to The Trials of Apollo to discuss a book a actually did enjoy.  

Join me next time when we take a look back at The Dark Prophecy.  I will see you all then.  

Riordan Retrospective: The Sword of Summer

Welcome once again to the Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means we're taking a look at Percy Jackson, its sequel series and its spin-off series.  This is less of a formal review, and more of a look back, along with my thoughts and observations.  Last time we hit another major milestone by finishing our look back at The Heroes of Olympus with a look back at The Blood of Olympus.  This time, we're officially starting our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  We're taking a look back at The Sword of Summer, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard book 1.  As usual, we'll kick things off with a brief summary. 

To begin with, Magnus Chase is dead.  Well, he's alive for the first five chapters of the book, but after that he's dead as a door nail.  Ah, but death is not the end, for Magnus soon finds himself being whisked away to the Hotel Valhalla to live and train as an einherjar, one of Odin's chosen warriors.  As it turns out, Norse Mythology is very much real, and the gods are very active in modern day Boston, Massachusetts.  Magnus is going to have to team up with his friends Blitz the dwarf and Hearthstone the elf, along with a valkyrie named Samira.  The chain that binds Fenris Wolf are beginning to loosen, and it's up to Magnus and his friends to rebind him.  To do that they'll need to find Sumarbrander, the missing Sword of Summer that once belong to Magnus' father: the Norse god Frey.

As per usual we've got spoiler of plenty beyond this point.  Turn back now if you don't want any part in that.  Everyone who wants out gone?  Good, then let's begin.

I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before Riordan created a series based on Norse Mythology.  I called that all the way back when The Kane Chronicles was announced.  Apparently, Riordan had plans for a Norse series even before he wrote Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  As you might have gathered from my hints in previous retrospectives, I'm not a big fan of this series.  I'll elaborate on why that is when we hit the other Magnus Chase books, but for now I'm going to do my best to focus on The Sword of Summer.  I'd say that it is probably the best book of the series, if only because of the lack of preachiness.  In hindsight, there were a lot of series red flags about what was to come.  At the time, though, it felt like a welcome return to form after the lackluster finale of The Heroes of Olympus.

Let's start by taking a look at our protagonist.  Magnus is something of a subversion of a typical Riordan protagonist.  While he's not completely without combat skills, he relies much more on his wits and cunning to get out of situations.  It appears that is a Chase family trait, which brings me to my second point.  Whereas The Kane Chronicles mostly tried to keep itself separate from the action of the Camp Half-Blood gang, the Magnus Chase series has much stronger ties to the rest of the Riordanverse.  Annabeth is Magnus' cousin, and he's that Bostonian cousin she mentioned back in The Blood of Olympus.

Magnus is also notable in the he is a child of Frey, a fairly common type of Norse demigod.  However, that in itself isn't quite as subversive as it might appear.  During the Viking Age, Frey was considered the third most important god in the entire Norse Pantheon; only Odin and Thor were more highly revered by the Norse people.  As such, Magnus is the son of a major deity like Percy and Jason.  Amusingly, there a scene at the beginning where a rare child of Odin arrives in Valhalla after accomplishing a great deed, and then is never mentioned again, not even in the other books.

It's also mentioned by Magnus that the Chase family are descended from the kings of Sweden.  That's interesting because, even centuries after Christianization, the Swedish royal family claimed to be descended from Odin.  Does that mean Magnus and Annabeth are legacies of Odin?  Speaking of which, I call bullshit on Magnus having sailing powers just because he's a grandson of Njord, the Norse god of the sea.  Percy, Thalia, Nico, Jason and Hazel don't have any time powers despite being grandchildren of Kronos/Saturn.  Annabeth and Frank don't have lighting powers or wind powers despite being grandchildren of Zeus/Jupiter.  It just seems really out of the left field, as though Riordan was afraid Magnus didn't have enough powers.

Now let's talk about Blitz and Harthstone.  Blitz might seem like another example of tokenism, especially in light of the later books, but I can assure you he is not.  If you go back to the original Norse myths, you'll find that dwarves are actually described as being dark-skinned, and Blitz's physical appearance is meant in invoke that.  Also, we know that he's into fashion, something the other dwarves consider unusual, and he never seems to express much interest in women.  I wonder if Riordan was trying to tell us something?  No, probably not.  As ham-fisted as Magnus Chase is about social issues, if Blitz was gay the books would never stop reminding us.  That's why I don't buy into those theories about Blitz and Hearth being a couple.

Hearthstone is also not a token, though he is deaf.  The way magic works in Norse Mythology is that it requires a sacrifice, and The Sword of Summer accurately reflects this point.  Odin sacrificed an eye to Mimir and hung on the world tree Yggdrasil to gain the secret of runes.  Hearth could have gained hearing and speech, but he would never be able to wield magic.  Fittingly enough, he and Blitz work for Mimir.  He's also immune to Fenris' silver tongue, but would he?  Deaf people can still feel vibrations, so how exactly does Fenris magic work...hmm, maybe I'm overthinking it.

The Floor 19 gang were all criminally underutilized.  We've got TJ, a son of Tyr, who died fighting in the 54th Massachusetts Regiment during the American Civil War.  For those who don't know, it was a very famous all black regiment of the Union army.  Yeah, turns out Greek and Roman demigods weren't the only children of the gods fighting in the American Civil War.  His name is is short for Thomas Jefferson Junior...uh, what?  Besides the fact that Tyr is his dad, doing the math on when TJ died, he would have been born well after Thomas Jefferson died.  So, how does that name work?  Well, naming issues aside, I enjoyed TJ as a character.

We've also got Halfborn Gunderson, he died during the Viking raid on East Anglia during the Viking Age.  That means he's one of the few characters in the series who can legitimately be said to be a Viking.  He's also notable in that both of his parents were bog standard mortals.  Yeah, Valhalla isn't exclusive to demigods, mortals who die bravely in battle can be admitted to Valhalla as well.  Rounding out the group is Mallory Keen, who died defusing a car bomb in Northern Ireland during The Troubles.  Jumping ahead, by The Ship of the Dead we learn that her mother is Frigg.  Yeah, apparently Frigg doesn't let being a goddess of marriage slow her down from having demigod children, unlike Hera.  A little weird that she'd gotten involve in The Troubles, given that it was a pissing contest, which killed a lot of people, between Catholics and Protestants.  Yeah, there was a nationalist element to it, but it was primarily a religious conflict.  Her physical appearance bears more than a passing resemblance to Rachel Elizabeth Dare, though I always pictured Merida from Brave in my mind.  I know, Scottish not Northern Irish, but still.

Technically there was X the Half-Troll, but he turned out to be Odin in disguise.  It's a bit disappointing that we never got to see any other trolls after that.  When I first read this book, I loved how Odin was like a motivation speaker, and how he was much friendlier and more personal to the einherjar than Zeus is to the demigods of Camp Half-Blood.  I liked it, but his enthusiasm sure got old very quickly in the subsequent books.

Samira was a character who should have been much more of a red flag in hindsight.  I tried to be patient, I tried to have faith that Rick had an actual plan for her, but my faith was sorely misplaced.  I'm really trying to restrain myself on this on, as I'll go into real detail when we get to The Hammer of Thor.  She wears the hijab, doesn't eat pork and mentions taking her grandparents to mosque.  I assumed the hijab was for sentimental reasons and the grandparents thing was against her will, and that he'd actual handle the arraigned marriage thing well...man, I was naive.  So, apparently, she dreams of being a pilot...Rick, serious question, did you not see how people could use that to make off-color jokes?  Anyway, she's a daughter of Loki, and is distrusted because of that by the other valkyries.  Yeah, the social commentary there is a bit on the nose.  It's mentioned her grandparents give her a lot of flak for being illegitimate, and would probably blow a gasket if they knew she was a child of a pagan deity.  Fun fact, even centuries after Christianization, calling someone a child of Loki in Scandinavia was a polite way of saying they were born out of wedlock.

Speaking of Loki, let's talk about him.  Unfortunately, Magnus Chase falls into a trap that a lot of Norse Mythology based series do: it made Loki that villain.  Magnus even calls him the Norse Satan, which is just plain wrong.  Loki is a much more complex and nuanced character than that.  As Neil Gaiman says in his excellent book that I will eventually review, Norse Mythology, you resented Loki even when you were thankful for him, and you were thankful for him even when you resented him.  Loki helped the gods on numerous occasions, even if he could be a pain in the ass.  He also kind of had reason to be made at the gods, considering what they did to his kids.  In many ways, you could say Loki was victim of fate.

I really liked how Loki was portrayed in this book.  He seems to acknowledge that he's just doing what fate dictates, and that it's nothing personal.  That times he seems almost apologetic, and it seems that he was going to walk the path of redemption, and that we'd get that nuanced and complex characterization.  Well, skipping ahead a bit, we most certain did not get any of that, but more on that in The Hammer of Thor.  If Riordan needed a villain why not use Surt?  Him completing his fire sword is the whole reason Ragnarok starts in Norse Mythology, and he was yet another underutilized character.  Seriously, he shows up to kill Magnus, makes another brief appearance, and then totally disappears from the series.  Why underutilize such a great villain?  Especially given how Surt was built up as such a big threat.  I'm bringing to suspect "Riordan just didn't care" to be the answer to a lot of questions in this series.

Speaking of missed opportunities, let's talk Gunilla.  She's a daughter of Thor and captain of valkyries.  She's sort of like a more honorable version of Clarisse, and seemed like she was going to be something of a mentor to the Floor 19 gang.  Unfortunately, she is killed during the battle with Fenris.  I should mention that when einherjar die outside of Valhalla they fade into the mist of ginnungagap, the primordial void.  So that means she's gone for good and we're never getting her back!  Damn it Rick, she was so much better than Alex and Sam!  I'm getting a bit ahead, but imagine if Magnus got together with Gunilla rather than that troglodyte Alex.  It would have inverted the usual dynamic of the boy being the muscle and the girl being the brains.  Oh well, more missed opportunities.

On that note, the einherjar are always killing each other in Valhalla, but it's okay because they revive later.  Wouldn't it still hurt, don't they still feel pain?  Yeah, sign me up for Folkvangr please.  At least there it's a constant party with no battles or serious injuries.  I felt like the book's depiction of Freya fell into a problem many portrayals of her do: it only focused on one aspect of her to the detriment of the others, in this case, her love goddess aspect.  Freya was equal parts love goddess, war goddess, and fertility goddess, that's what makes her such a well-rounded goddess.  Let's also not forget that she was a master sorceress.  Yeah, caricaturing the gods is yet another mark against this series.

Well, let's try to say something positive about this series.  I liked how the book emphasized that the Norse weren't just unsophisticated brutes, and that they had a complex culture.  I also appreciate that it pointed out that Viking refers to the raiders and pillages, and Norse is the technical term for the people.  It wasn't always consistent about this, but it's something if nothing else.  One thing I noticed is that the Norse gods are much more geographically limited than the Greek, Roman and Egyptian gods.  The Norse gods seem to be limited to New England.  It is mentioned that, in the Riordanverse, the hypothesis that the Norse made it to New England is true, so maybe that has something to do with it.  They actually had people who believed in and worshiped them living on American soil, so they were bound to that part of America, sort of like in American Gods.  It is mentioned that Leif Erikson was a son of Skirnir.  I also liked that Snorri Sturluson is one of the thanes of Valhalla.  He's the one who preserved many of the Norse myths even though he was a Christian...or maybe that's just what the Mist wants you to think.

We also get hints that Jesus might exist in the Riordanverse.  It's mentioned that Thor challenged Jesus to a contest, but Jesus was a no-show.  That's actually based on an account that occurred during the Christianization of Iceland.  An old woman who still followed the Norse gods told a Christian priest that Thor could kick Jesus' ass and would challenge him to a contest.  Naturally, in Valhalla they use BCE and CE rather than BC and AD for dates.

I'm also going to put in a good word for the audiobook version.  It is narrated by Christopher Guetig, who does an excellent job.

Yeah, this retrospective has really been the calm before the storm.  When we get to The Hammer of Thor, I am not holding anything back anymore.  For now, however, let's take a look at the cover.

We see Magnus standing in front of the world tree Yggdrasil with Jack the sword fooling above his hand.  Fenris wolf stands in front of him looking fierce and blue...for some reason.

Now for a fun piece of trivia.  The beloved PBS series Arthur has a parody of Percy Jackson and the Olympians in-show called Loki Benediktssen and the Teenage Aesir.  What's particularly funny is that Loki Benediktssen looks exactly like an Arthurfied version of Magnus, and his main villain is Fenris wolf, and he has to get a necklace of tears from Freya.  He also teams up with Vidar, who later shows up in The Hammer of Thor, and Vidar's not a god most people would know off the top of their heads.  It also pretty obvious the writers were at least somewhat familiar with the Percy Jackson books, so it didn’t wind up as a shallow parody.  I tip my hat to the writers.  Keep in mind, the episode featuring him came out two years before Magnus Chase was published.  It's mentioned the characters Fern and Ladonna are fans of the series.  Coincidence or something more, I leave it for you to decide.

Well, that should do it for now.  Like I've previously said, we'll be alternating between Magnus Chase and Trails of Apollo books until we run out of Magnus Chase books.  As such, we're starting our look back at The Trails of Apollo next time.  Join me again next time when we take a look back at The Hidden Oracle.  I will see you all next time.