Book Review: Agent of Byzantium by Harry Turtledove

2019 is really turning out to be a great year for alternate history audio fiction.  I've gotten my chance to listen to A Different Flesh at long last.  It seems like we're getting a new Harry Turtledove audiobook practically every month, and I hope that it doesn't stop any time soon.  Now I've got another classic Turtledove novel to review.  At long last we are taking a look at Agent of Byzantium by Harry Turtledove.  

Agent of Byzantium is a collection of short stories that all take place in the same world.  In the world of Agent of Byzantium, the Prophet Mohammad converted to Christianity and was eventually canonized as a saint.  He becomes known as St. Mouamet, the patron saint of changes.  As a result, Islam is never founded, and the Byzantine Empire remains strong and able to expand its territory.  By the 14th Century, the Byzantines have managed to mostly reunite the Roman Empire, save for a few provinces such as Britannia and most of Gaul.  It's a somewhat conservative world, in the sense that it is more similar to the Late Antiquity than Europe and the Mediterranean were in our 14th Century.  However, all of that is about to change.  The stories follow Basil Argyros.  He is a magistrianos, which is like a cross between a secret agent and a civil servant.  Basil travels across the Byzantine Empire and beyond to both foil plots against the empire and discover many new inventions to put in service of the empire. 

So, I'm going to give some overall thoughts before we go over the individual stories.  This is another Turtledove book I've wanted in audio, and now the wait is over.  Harry Turtledove has a PH.D. in Byzantine History, and it definitely shows in this novel.  Turtledove was famously inspired by L. Sprague de Camp's novel Lest Darkness Fall to study Byzantine History.  He say in the introduction to Agent of Byzantium that he hopes it does the same for someone else.  I can say with certainty that he achieved this goal, at least for me.  I liked the way Argyros' discoveries are presented.  He managed to bring about some pretty significant changes, or what will be in the long-run, but without being a one-man industrial revolution.  A lot of his discoveries happen by chance, and are things that someone else has invented.  That isn't to say that he is lacking in the brains department.  He certainly had to be smart in order to be a magistrianos.  Also, I love the stories as great adventure stories set in an alternate world. 

A few things to note before we go forwards.  The Byzantines did not refer to themselves as such.  That's a term assigned to them by later scholars, based on how Constantinople used to be called Byzantium.  The Byzantines initially referred to themselves as the Eastern Roman Empire.  They viewed themselves as a continuation of Rome, not something separate from it.  Turtledove correctly has the character refer to themselves, and their empire, as Roman.  In fact, by the time of the book, they've dropped the Eastern part of the name and just call themselves the Roman Empire.  Hey, they've reconquered Italy and Rome, along with North Africa, the Iberian Peninsula, and the southern coast of France.  

Also, the Byzantines used their own unique calendar call Etos Kosmou, meaning Era of the World in English.  They determined the year based not on the birth of Christ, but on the creation of the universe, or what they thought was the creation of the universe.  So, for example, 1315 AD would be 6824 in the Byzantine Calendar.  The stories were not individually published in chronological order, but thankfully the book arranges them chronologically.

Our first story is called "Eyes of Argos" and takes places in the year 1305 AD. Basil Argyros is an officer in the Byzantine Army station along the Danube boarder on the frontier of the empire.  The Jurchen Horde has been driven far to the west, and now they threaten the Byzantine Empire.  The Jurchens seem to have some sort of device that allows them to see over long distances.  Basil is going to have to go undercover to infiltrate the Jurchen Horde and uncover the secret of the strange device.  

Agent of Byzantium starts off strong with a great opening story.  This was very much Basil's origin story, and serves to set-up the future stories.  It is also an excellent story in its own right.  Interestingly, there was an actual historical figure named Basil Argyros in our history, but he was born in the 10th Century. The Basil Argyros of Agent of Byzantium was born in the 13th Century.  Also, the historical Argyros was a nobleman, while the fictional Argyros was a commoner born in the Balkans.  I'm almost certain that Turtledove named his character on purpose.  

Anyway, I liked how Argyros' wound up gaining some respect for the Jurchen and their culture.  He learns that, though the Jurchen venerate many spirits, they also believe in a god who is above the spirits.  There's a really great scene where he and a Jurchen shaman discuss the differences in their religious beliefs, and Argyros realizes that maybe the Jurchen aren't so different from the Byzantines after all.  All the same, he has a duty to his emperor and his empire to fulfill first and foremost.  The strange devise, as I'm sure you've figured out, is a telescope.  The way it is depicted is, I would say, realistic for the time period.  The title comes from how Argyros likens the telescope to the all-seeing eyes of Argos Panoptes from Greek Mythology. 

There's also the question of just what drove the Jurchen to Europe.  The Byzantines don't particularly care, but I'm curious.  They're presented as no different from any of the other invaders the Byzantines had to deal with such as the Huns, Magyars, Avars and Cumans.  There's also no mention of any Mongol invasion.  Did Genghis Khan fail to unite the Mongols?  Did the Chinese crush the Mongols?  Did the Mongols focus solely on Asia and ignore the West?  Or is it something else entirely?  We don't know, but it is fun to speculate.

True, Argyros does get kicked out of the army for his loose cannon behavior.  However, he gets promoted to a magistrianos, so it all works out in the end.  All in all, this story is a great start to Agent of Byzantium.

Our second story is entitled "Strange Eruptions" and takes place in 1307 AD.  Basil Argyros has been enjoying his new life as a magistrianos in Constantinople.  He has a beautiful wife named Helen and a baby boy named Sergios.  Things take a turn for the worse when the city finds itself in the midst of a smallpox epidemic.  Though he doesn't know it, the epedimic will change Argyros' life forever. 

I should have mentioned before, but each of the stories will almost always begin with Argyros thinking about St. Mouamet in some capacity.  In this story he does so when he notices a procession of presets chanting St. Mouamet's canticle.  The canticles are pretty obviously Koranic verses with the wording changed to reflect Christianity.  For example, one goes "Truly there is no god, but the Lord, and Christ is his son."  This is obviously a modification of "Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his messenger.  Peace be onto him."  Also, apparently St. Mouamet's feast day is July 16th.    

From what we heard, St. Mouamet was the most zealous convert to Christianity since Paul.  Argyros loses Helen and Sergios to the epidemic, and he still mourns them even into the later stories.  Overall, their deaths are written well, but maybe could have been a bit better.  This is the only story where they are alive, so we don't get to know them very well.  Then again, Argyros has to travel as part of his work, so we might not necessarily have gotten more time with them.  However, because he has to run to the dairy farm to get milk for Sergios, Argyros inadvertently inoculates himself against smallpox.  This leads to the inadvertent discover of vaccines.  Many of the greats inventions happened totally by accident, so I find it very believable. 

Also, apparently Constantinople has dairy farms located within the city walls.  Was that something that happened in our history too?  Anyway, it is another solid addition to the collection.

The third story is entitled "Pillar of Cloud, Pillar of Fire" and takes place in 1309 AD.  Basil Argyros has been dispatched to Alexandria, Egypt.  The Pharos, also known as the Lighthouse of Alexandria, is being rebuilt.  However, construction has stalled because the works feel they are being overworked and underpaid, especially given how dangerous the work is.  Argyros will have to find some way to reconcile the two factions. 

Agent of Byzantium first came out in 1987, but did not include this story.  Thankfully, the second edition, which came out in 1994, corrected this.  Its kind of amusing that this story involves a strike and the invention of labor unions.  The first recorded strike in history occurred in Ancient Egypt in the year 1152 BC.  From this story we learn that certain heretical strains of Christianity have survived for long than they did in our world.  For example, many of the strikers are Monophysites, and it's mentioned that Nestorians are still running around in the eastern parts of the empire.  Personally, I don't blame the strikers for what they did.  I got vertigo just listening to the descriptions of the construction site.  

I know it's been two years since he lost them, but Argyros seems to have moved on from the death of his wife and child surprisingly well.  Well, he does briefly consider becoming a monk, but he decides the desires of the flesh are too strong for him to ignore.  That, and the rest of the stories wouldn't be nearly as interesting if he was a monk.  Though granted, he does seem to still somewhat being mourning them.  Perhaps he's done his best to bury himself in his work.  

Once again, a more than worthy addition to the collection.

The fourth story is entitled "Unholy Trinity" and takes place in 1315 AD.  The Franko-Saxon Kingdom has been getting into border skirmishes with the Byzantine Empire in the Pyrenees.  The Franko-Saxon have invented a highly combustible substance they call hellpowder, and use it to great effect.  Basil Argyros is going to have to go undercover to the Abbey of St. Gall, where it is rumored the Franko-Saxons produce the hellpowder.  He's also teaming up with some agents from the Kingdom of Angleland.  

There's a lot of great worldbuilding in this one as we glimpse the world outside the Byzantine Empire.  Apparently, the Norman Conquest never happened, since the Kingdom of Normandy was never founded.  As a result, Anglo-Saxons remain the dominate cultural force in England, but they've still managed to unite into a single political entity.  The world of Agent of Byzantium also had something akin to the Great Schism, but under much different circumstances.  After the Byzantines reconquered Italy, they deposed of the Pope, and replace him with a pope loyal to them.  The deposed pope fled to the Franko-Saxon Kingdom and set-up shop there.  The Byzantines consider the Franko-Saxon popes to be heretics.  The Byzantine Pope controls all the bishops of the western half of the empire, but he is subservient to the Patriarch of Constantinople.  

Also, it appears that the empire of Charlemagne managed stick together and avoid Balkanizing.  Well, it did that and eventually took to calling itself the Franko-Saxon Kingdom.  Though the absence of Normandy does make me wonder about how the Viking Age went in this world.  For that matter, did the Danelaw still happen in England?  In any event, I liked that the Byzantines and the Anglelanders teamed up for pragmatic reasons.  The Byzantines hope to one day bring the Angleland back into the empire, but Angleland would prefer to stay independent.  All the same, they have a common enemy in the Franko-Saxons.  The title refers to the trio of ingredients needed to make hellpowder.  

Once again, a more than worthy addition to the collection.

The fifth story is titled "Archetypes" and takes place in 1316 AD.  The Persian Empire has been spreading propaganda in the eastern provinces of the Byzantine Empire at an alarming rate.  They are encouraging Nestorians and Monophysites to breakaway and join Persia.  Basil Argyros is dispatched to the city of Daras in the province of Mesopotamia to investigate. 

This story is significant in that it is the first appearance of Mirrane.  She's an agent from Persia, and provides both challenge and intrigue for Argyros.  This wasn't a bad story, but it didn't quite hold my interest like the ones before it did.  I did like the concept of the printing press getting invented earlier.  The archetypes of the title are the clay letters used in the printing press.  I also found the scene where Argyros convinces his boss how useful the printing press to be amusing.  His boss, George Lakhanodrakon, is apparently writing an epic poem about Emperor Constans II's reconquest of Italy called the Italiad.  Well, not much more to say here, let's move on.

The sixth story is titled "Images" and takes place in 1317 AD.  There's trouble brew in Constantinople, and in the Byzantine Empire at large.  A group of Egyptian monks from Alexandria are preaching that icons are blasphemous and must be destroyed.  The population is sharply divided over the issue, and there's fighting in the streets.  Basil Argyros suspects that the Persians are plotting to show discord in Byzantium again.  It's going to take all of his wits and cunning to defeat the Iconoclasts. 

Iconoclasm was indeed something that happened in our world as well.  However, in our world the Byzantines decided in favor of iconoclasm, at least until they reversed the decision.  This was because Islam was slowly starting to influence the empire, though the Byzantines would never admit it.  So I found it believable that, in a world without Islam, there would be less support for iconoclasm.  And yes, the whole thing is caused by Mirrane trying to stir things up for the Persians.  Since much of the story involves ecumenical councils, we get more insight into this alternate Eastern Orthodox Church.  For example, apparently the Byzantines regard Pope Gregory the Great, also known as Gregory I, as more Gregory the So-So.  In particularly, they take umbrage to the fact that he spent so much time in Constantinople, and yet never learned how to speak Greek.  

This story was actually surprisingly enjoyable.  Who knew debates about church doctrine could be this much fun?  I liked Argyros' explanation for why the iconoclasts were wrong.  He argues that, if mortal materials aren't proper to portray the divine, then you might as well be saying that the incarnation never happened.  Argyros is certainly no slouch when it comes to debating theology.  After all, as he notes, theological debates are Constantinople's favorite pastime, after the Hippodrome races.  

A pleasant surprise of a story, and another worthy addition of the collection.

The final story is title "Superwine" and takes place in 1320 AD.  Basil Argyros is on assignment to the Kingdom of Alania.  He's posing as a merchant of a new drinking called superwine.  While there he bumps into the Persian agent Mirrane.  The two agents are going to have to put aside their differences and work together.  The king of Alania is planning on letting the Kyrgyz Horde through his lands so that they can reek havoc on Byzantium and Persia, and he can swoop in and pick up the scraps.  

This story didn't quite hold my attention like the previous stories did.  It started off good, but about halfway through I felt like it kind of ran out of steam.  That was a shame, as the second half of the story is where the action really picked up.  I did like the idea of Argyros and Mirrane having to put aside their differences to save their empires.  For those who don't know, Alania was a kingdom in the Caucasus Mountain founded by the Alan people.  Alania is strategically located as one of the few gateways through the Caucuses.  We also find out from this story that Byzantium and Persia have a mutual agreement to not persecute followers of each other's religions.  Zoroastrians can worship in Byzantium as long as Christians can worship in Persia, and vice versa.  

Well, I wasn't really intrigued by the last story, but maybe you'll like it better. 

I'd be remiss if I didn't discuss a story not included in this collection.  Turtledove also wrote a short story titled "Departures" that is a prequel to Agent of Byzantium.  It takes place 700 years before Agent of Byzantium and follows St. Mouamet during his time at a monastery in Syria.  Later in life he apparently traveled to Constantinople and went on to become an archbishop in Spain.  It is not included in the collection, and is the only story not to feature Basil Argyros as the protagonist.  Perhaps that's why it wasn't included, which is a shame in my opinion.  Oh well, maybe someday it will be. 

I'd also be remiss is I didn't talk about the long-awaited audiobook edition of Agent of Byzantium.  It is narrated by Tim Campbell, and he does an excellent job.  This audiobook was well worth the wait.  

There you have it.  Agent of Byzantium is a classic Harry Turtledove novel that was more than worth the wait.  I hope the Harry Turtledove audiobook gravy train doesn't slow down any time soon.  Well, I think that's enough from me for now.  I will see you all next time.   

Book Review: A Different Flesh by Harry Turtledove

I've discussed this before, but a plenty of times I really want to listen to a book, but it just won't be available for various reasons.  Of course, over the years, my patience has been rewarded in some very big ways.  Case in point, the book we're going to be reviewing today.  We're going to be taking a look at A Different Flesh by Harry Turtledove.  

A Different Flesh is a collection of short stories set in the same universe.  In the world of A Different Flesh, the ancestors of the Native Americans never crossed the Bering land bridge during the Ice Age.  However, Homo Erectus did cross into the Americas.  Thus, when the Europeans discover the Americas, they don't find any Native American civilizations, but they do find tribes of Homo Erectus, whom they refer to as sims.  Also, the Ice Age megafauna of the Americas never went extinct, so the Europeans also discover a land full of woolly mammoths, sabertooth cats, giant ground sloths, and giant armadillos among other things.  

The stories follow the history of the Federated Commonwealths of America, this world's equivalent of the United States of America.  Before the start of each story, the mood is set with an excerpt from a book about the history of the FCA.  It also provides great details about the history of this world that don't quite make it into the stories.  The excerpts also chronicle the relationship between humans and sims.  

We're going to take a look at each of the stories individually, but I'm going to give some overall thoughts first.  Well, I can most certainly say that this book was well worth the wait.  Harry Turtledove says that he got the idea for this series when he read an article by the late great paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould.  Gould pondered what might have happened if John Smith and the Jamestown colonists had discovered Australopithecus rather than Native Americans in Virginia.  Gould concluded that it would not have ended well for Australopithecus.  Turtledove certainly seems to have come to the same conclusion.  One thing I think he did well was that, though he wrote the sims as sympathetic, he never made them too anthropomorphized.  You can definitely see similarities between humans and sims, as is to be expected, but at the same time sims clearly act and think differently than humans. 

The first story is called "Vilest Beast" and is set in Jamestown, Virginia in the year 1610.  Without the Native Americans and their corn, the colonists are having an even hard time than they did in our world.  Despite this, Edward Wingfield and his wife Anne are making the best of things.  Things change when their infant daughter Joanna is kidnapped by a tribe of sims.  Edward must lead a search party to get her back. 

Given what inspired these stories, it's fitting that the first should take place in Jamestown.  Speaking which, we learn how things went with John Smith and the Sims.  It ended badly...for John Smith.  Apparently, the sims killed him in 1607, and his death was a considerable blow to the moral of the colony.  Overall, I would say the way Turtledove portrays the sims still holds up based on what we know about Homo Erectus.  There's never called Homo Erectus in any of the stories, but Turtledove has confirmed this is the case in interviews.  Also, the excerpt from the text book mentions that sim fossils have been discovered in East Africa, South China, and the island of Java.  All of which are places Homo Erectus fossils have been found.  

It might come across as a bit silly that they're called sims, but how was Turtledove to know that there would one day be a video game called The Sims?  These stories were written between 1985-1988, with A Different Flesh being published in 1988.  I'm guessing it was intended to be short for simians, or something like that.  

Also, fun fact, Edward Wingfield was a real person who existed in our world.  I've got to admit, this story hooked me from the start.  I've always been fascinated by the colonization of the Americas, especially the different ways it often plays out in alternate history.  I'm also a big paleontology fan, so this story was kind of a match made in heaven.  Really, the whole book was kind of like that.  I found it realistic that the colonist struggled more without corn to supplement their diets.  It can't be stressed enough what a difference corn made to the early colonization of the Americas.  Curiously, later stories make mention of a colony in Massachusetts, which is called Plymouth in this world because Massachusetts got its name from the Native Americans.  Obviously, this means the Pilgrims still happened, but without any corn they would have been completely screwed. 

Anyway, I loved how the story resolves.  Turns out the sims took Joanna because they wanted to learn more about the colonists by studying one of their young.  By all accounts, the sims treated Joanna no differently than one of their own young.  Edward spends most of the story viewing the sims as nothing more than wild animals, but after this, he starts to realize they aren't so different.  He even briefly worries about what's going to happen to the sims as the European continue to colonize the New World.  All in all, "Vilest Beast" is a great start to the collection. 

The next story is called "And So To Bed".  It is set in 1661 and is told in the form of the diary of Samuel Pepys.  He's a figure from our world, a great English statesman, and the Pepys of our world is indeed famous for his diary.  In the world of A Different Flesh, however, Pepys' diary holds a different significance.  He notes that there is a clear link between chimps, Sims and humans.  He wonders if there's some process that slowly changes life over time. 

This was one of the weaker stories, but it has some interesting ideas.  It makes sense that the Theory of Evolution was developed earlier.  Sims are an obvious link between humans and animals.  It was also fun to learn about a historical figure I'd never heard of before.  Well, anyway, moving right along. 

The third story is titled "Around the Salt Lick".  It takes place in the year 1691 and follows a scout named Thomas Kenton and his loyal sim companion Charles.  Thomas is hunting spearfang cats for their valuable fangs.  Spearfang cats have gotten a bit rare in Virginia, so Thomas and Charles have had to push into the frontier to find the bounty.  However, things get a bit complicated when they come into conflict with a tribe of wild sims.  

This one was maybe not my favorite, but not too bad either.  I did find it funny at the end where Charles turns out to be snobby towards wild sims.  He views them much the same as humans do.  We learn that sims can communicate via sign language, but not vocal speech.  The excerpt from the history book provides more worldbuilding hints.  Apparently, England adopted the Divine Right of Kings model of government.  People who objected to this moved to America in droves.  This would suggest that the English Civil War never happened in this world.  Well, that or maybe the Royalist won.  Also, apparently Spain had a much harder time colonizing the New World without the Aztec and Inca to conquer.  By the time of "Around the Salt Lick" they've only got two successful colonies: Argentina and New Grenada. 

Argentina makes sense, because it has a fairly European climate, but New Grenada?  That was in Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador in our world.  Unless it was somewhere else, that makes a bit less sense, especially since it is said Spain struggled to colonize the tropics without any corn.  Also, without Aztec and Incan gold and silver, Spain would have a harder time financing their wars in Europe.  That would potentially mean the European History took some very different turns.  Of course, that might explain what happened in England.  Turtledove is mostly focused on stories about the sims, but he's certainly lead tantalizing hints at a wider world.

The fourth story is titled "The Iron Elephant" and is set in 1782.  Hairy elephants play a major role in the Federated Commonwealths of America.  They haul passenger carriages and freight cars all across the nation.  However, this time-honored institution is facing competition from the new invention of steam-powered locomotives.  A race has been organized between a team of mammoth drivers and a train engineer.  Can flesh and blood triumph over iron and steam?  

Yeah, this one is sort of an alternate history retelling of the legend of John Henry.  John Henry is my favorite American Folk Hero, so I'm not complaining.   We get even more worldbuilding here.  Apparently, in order to tame the wooly mammoths, America started importing elephant trainers from India.  The protagonist of the story, Premier Chand, is descended from these.  Also, the Federated Commonwealths got their independence in 1732, so the American Revolution happened earlier.  This story appear to be set in Illinois based on mention of Cairo (pronounced Kay-Roe) and the New Nile is obviously the Mississippi River.  Again, no Native Americans, so it isn't called Illinois.  I guess that means Chicago, if it exists, is named something else as well.  It's kind of amazing how many places in America get their names from the Native Americans.  

As fascinating as the world of A Different Flesh is, not sure I'd wanted to live there.  True, I'd get to see all sorts of Ice Age animals, but it would be a poorer world without the richness of Native American culture.  Also, I have a small amount of Native American ancestry, so I would not exist in the world of A Different Flesh.  

It's interesting that this story features sims the least of all the stories in the collection.  Oh, but they're not absent from this story.  The sims appear towards the end of the story, and they're are the ones who get the last laugh in the big race.  Without giving too much away, I can say it shows that sims are smarter than they are given credit for.  "The Iron Elephant" is another great story in the collection. 

The fifth story is titled "Though Heavens Fall" and takes places in 1804.  From the textbook excerpt we learn that Americans used sims as laborers on plantations and farms.  This blunted the Transatlantic Slave Trade to a large extent, but didn't completely prevent it.  Africans were brought to America as slaves, but most of them wound up as house slaves.  Sims make terrible housekeepers, apparently.  The story follows a slave named Jeremiah.  He's got a pretty good life on the Gillen plantation in Virginia.  Still, he dreams of the day he saves up enough money to buy his freedom.  Unfortunately, the sims have recently come down with an illness, and Jeremiah gets sends to the fields to supplement the work force.  After a day of hard labor he decides to make a run for it try his luck in Portsmouth, Virginia.  He takes up residence with lawyer Alfred Douglas, and together they set out to put the institution of slavery on trial.  The outcome of the trail will impact not just Jeremiah, but Black Americans as a whole.

I think this was possibly my favorite story of the bunch.  Well, "Vilest Beast" was pretty good too, but it is tied with "Though Heavens Fall".  I think the way slavery was depicted made sense.  Slavery has existed as far back as Ancient Mesopotamia, and I don't think sims would completely element it.  The Greeks and Romans believed in human-like creatures such satyrs, cyclopes, and centaurs, yet they still had slavery.  Still, as is noted in the story, people would have to recognize that a white person has far more in common with a black person than with a sim.  

Even before the trails you can kind of see that the characters have kind of figured this out.  Mr. Gillen treats Jeremiah almost like an employee rather than a slave, and seems almost apologetic when he has to send Jeremiah to the fields.  Still, the overseer makes it clear that he has nothing but contempt for Jeremiah, and black people as a whole.  Moreover, Jeremiah is under no delusions that he is anything other than a slave.  On the flip side, I enjoyed how Jeremiah and Alfred's relationship developed.  They start off as employee and employer, but soon develop a genuine friendship with one another. 

We also get a glimpse into the legal and political system of the Federated Commonwealths.  Apparently, courts use three judges, one senior judge and two junior judges, for trials.  Two of the three judges must agree for a verdict to pass.  Also, the government of the Federated Commonwealths is bi-cameral legislature divided into the Popular Assembly and the Senate.  Popular Assembly is directly elected by the people, while the Senate is made of former governors and censors who serve lifetime terms.  At the top of the government are the two censors.  They are elected by the people and serve a single five-year term.  The thinking is that they'll keep each other in check, especially if they're from opposing parities.  As you can see, the Conscript Fathers of the Federated Commonwealths modeled the nation very closely on the Roman Republic.  

I also noticed some similarities to British Parliament, but that makes sense.  We know that America got a lot of political refugees after England adopted the Divine Right of Kings.  That means that ideas of parliamentary government were floating around in America.  Some of those ideas probably got incorporated into the fabric of the Federated Commonwealths.  It also turns out that sims can speak, but it takes a considerable amount of effort, and they can only say like one or two simple words at a time.  This is why they use sign language.  

There's a really great scene at the end where Jeremiah is mean to sim that bumps into him on the street.  He knows he's being kind of a dick, but he also knows that blacks would be at the bottom of society if the sims didn't exist.  All in all, a really great addition to A Different Flesh.

The penultimate story is titled "Trapping Run".  It is set in the Rocky Mountains in 1814 and follows a trapper named Henry Quick.  During a trapping run he gets attacked by a bear, but fortunately, a tribe of sims find him and nurse him back to health.  Quick has always though to the sims as nothing more than animals, but spending so much time with them allows Quick to see them as something almost human. 

This one took me a but to get into, but I did enjoy it once it took off.  I guess you could say that Quick was really having some Dances with Sims after his leg healed.  Also, from this story we learn that sims and humans can indeed have hybrid children.  I really did enjoy how Quick came to view the sims as more human as the story went on.  He apparently goes on to become the founder of the Sims Justice Movement.  As we learn in the next story, Henry Quick became quite famous among the sims because of this.  Well, I think that's enough for this one, let's move on.

The final story is called "Freedom" and is set in 1988.  Over the years, sims have been used in all sorts of scientific research, including AIDS research.  The story follows a sim named Matt.  He's a teat subject at the AIDS research center in Terminus, Georgia.  Overall, he's got a pretty cushy life with plenty of food, females, and regular injections of HIV inhibitor than suppress his symptoms and make him feel like he doesn't have HIV at all.  Maybe he's not technically free, but he's not complaining.  However, a group of sims rights activists disagrees and decide to kidnap him to set him free.  Of course, as they soon discover, this is easier said than done. 

The collection began on a strong note, and it certainly ends on a strong note as well.  A recusing theme throughout A Different Flesh is about what it means to be humans.  Sims are far more intelligent than most animals, but aren't quite at human levels of intelligence.  This certainly creates a moral conundrum about their place in society.  Even the sims rights activists acknowledge that sims will never, for example, be elected to public office.  Before we get to anything else, let's address the city name.  Terminus is the A Different Flesh version of Atlanta, Georgia.  It might seem odd that this is the case, given that Atlanta is from Classic Mythology, and wouldn’t be impacted by the lack of Native Americans.  However, Terminus was indeed the original name of the city.  It was changed in 1732, when the colonial governor of Georgia renamed the city after his daughter.  We know that the alternate American Revolution happened in 1732, or else that’s when America officially became independent.  So, that means the rename never happened.  That, or the Americans refused to acknowledge the name change. 

Anyway, the Sims Rights activists kind of reminded me of certain more extreme animal rights groups.  I'm talking PETA and their ilk.  Given that this was written in 1988, I can't help but wonder if Turtledove had that in mind.  The activist are certainly well intentioned, but they clearly didn't think things through, and you know what they say about the road to hell.  They have a hard time convincing Matt not to have sex with other sims, lest he give them HIV, and they don't bring nearly enough HIV inhibitor.  So, in the end, they have to return him to the AIDS research center. 

From the excerpt we learn that sims were used as slave labor in factories, and that many displaced factory workers lead sims rights movements.  However, they did this less because they cared about sims, and more because they didn't like that the sims were taking their jobs.  It's interesting that they helped the sims, but not necessarily for altruistic reasons.  Also, apparently the FCA equivalent of NASA used sims to test their spacecrafts.  

Another theme in this story is about how a freedom is relative and subjective.  The activist think they're freeing Matt, but they're way more restrictive and stifling than the institute ever was.  In the end, Matt's happy to return to the institute.  I especially liked the end where the other sims ask him what it was like outside.  He says that it isn't like on TV, and that the activist are like all the other humans; they only care about sims when it serves their personal goals. The story ends on a bittersweet note.  Matt is happy and back home, but the future of sims remains uncertain.  True, it is mentioned that there are three major reserves the size of moderate sized states, but the sims are also losing their habitats to development and the continued encroachment of humans.  And, as mentioned, there's the question of just how do that fit into society.  Both issues have been pretty consistent across all the stories, and I guess it just goes to show that, the more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Ending on a bittersweet note seems pretty realistic to me.  A lot of times, bittersweet is the best you can hope for in real life.  But hey, that's history for you.  

Before we wrap things up I've got to talk about the audiobook edition that is here at long last.  It is narrated by Paul Woodson.  He's equally adept at pulling off both British and American accents.  I also closed how he gave the sims a distinct accent of their own.  What can I say?  The audiobook was worth the wait.  

Well, I think that does it for this review.  I absolutely loved A Different Flesh, and I hope that more classic Harry Turtledove novels get their audiobooks.  Hey, we've already got Agent of Byzantium and The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump, things are really looking up for alternate history audiobook lovers.  And yes, my review of Agent of Byzantium will be here before you know it.  

For now, however, I will see you all next time.  

Flag of the Kingdom of Mongolia

This is the flag of the Kingdom of Mongolia.  It comes from a world where China successfully repelled the Mongols early on.  As a result, the Mongol Empire never came to be.  The Mongols continued to be pushed farther and farther west until they arrived in Eastern Europe.  Eventually, they settled around where Romania and southern Poland are in our world.  Thus, the Kingdom of Mongolia was born.  The Mongols were frequently visited by Byzantine missionaries, and the Mongolian Orthodox Church is the official state religion.  The Byzantine Empire also remains a major trading partner for Mongolia.  In more peculiar alliances, Mongolia is also a major ally of the tiny mountainous nation of Neo Hellas, the final remnant of pagan Greece.  

The coming of the Mongols altered the migration patterns of several other peoples.  For example, the Bulgars settled in Russia, establishing the Czardom of Bulgaria.  Meanwhile, several Germanic tribes invaded Greece, and Byzantium is currently ruled by a Germanic dynasty.  Islam was still founded, but it never expanded beyond the Arabian Peninsula.  

In terms of bad relations, Mongolia has always had a very tense relationship with the Franco-Saxon Kingdom.  Throughout the years the Franco-Saxons have repeatedly attempted to conquer the Mongolians.  Even after all these years, Mongolia remains bitter about the Franco-Saxon invasion that occurred during the Second Great Patriotic War.  Despite this, in more recent times there has been increasing emphasis on moving on and letting go of the past.  Younger generations in particular are more likely to support reconciliation between the two nations.  

Mongolia takes pride in its dual mature of East Asian heritage and Eastern European culture.  The flag reflects this dual heritage.  The blue recalls both the cloak of the Virgin Mary and the eternal blue sky of the Tengrism.  The horse symbolizes the nomadic past of the Mongolian people, before they settled in Eastern Europe.  The cross represents the Mongolian Orthodox Church, with the flame representing the flames of Pentecost.  The interlocking circles halves represent the dual nature of the Mongolian people.  The golden bands represent the hope that the Mongolian people will always prosper no matter what life throws at them.  They also help to offset the blue on the main body of the flag.  

Riordan Retrospective: The Dark Prophecy

Welcome once again to the Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means we're taking a look at Percy Jackson, its sequel series and its spin-off series.  This is less of a formal review, and more of a look back, along with my thoughts and observations.  Last time we took a look back at The Hammer of Thor, the absolute rock bottom of both the Magnus Chase series and Rick Riordan's writing career.  This time, we're returning to The Trials of Apollo for a much, much better written book.  We're taking a look back at The Dark Prophecy, The Trials of Apollo book 2.  Let's kick things off with a brief summary.

Apollo is on a quest to restore his godhood by restoring the sources of prophecy.  He and his companions Leo Valdez and Calypso have arrived in Indianapolis, Indiana.  Apollo needs to restore the Oracle of Trophonius, but that's easier said than done.  Our trio of heroes will find danger around every corner as they try to outsmart the second member of the Triumvirate.  However, they'll also find new friends and allies in unexpected places.  Being a depowered god isn't easy, but Apollo will get by with a little help from his friends.

As per usual, there will be spoilers beyond this point, so turn back now if you don't want any of that.  

As I've mentioned before, it really feels like The Trials of Apollo was written to address the criticisms of The Heroes of Olympus.  For starters, Leo is far less annoying and overall it feels like he's been considerably toned down.  It almost redeemed him to me.  Almost, but not quite.  I also like how Leo and Calypso's relationship felt a bit more realistic.  They get into more fights and disagreements, and it was always a joy to reading about Calypso hitting Leo.  One of the big causes of friction with Calypso and Leo is that Calypso has lost her magic after leaving Ogygia.  Yeah, I'd probably be pissed too in that situation.  Though, I will say I have to take issue with Calypso's dream of going to high school.  

Seriously?  After thousands of years Calypso is finally free, the world is her oyster, and her big dream is to go to high school?  She seems to forget high school is...well, school.  There's test, grades, projects and shit.  You don't spend all day goofing around with your friends.  Also, high schools have bullies, just saying.  Something tells me that she's going to be thinking "you know, comparatively speaking, this shithole is more of a prison that Ogygia ever was." 

Yeah, Calypso clearly has an overly romanticized view of high school.  Let's put a pin in that concept, it will be important when we get to The Burning Maze.  Anyway, continuing on with the theme of minimalism, this book is set entirely in the city of Indianapolis.  Once again, Riordan tells a compelling story without it ever feeling claustrophobic.  I also really loved that we finally get some older demigods playing a role in the story.  Well, technically speaking, Hemithea is a legacy of Dionysus and a former minor goddess, but the point still stands.  Hey, Josephine is a daughter of Hecate, which is nice in itself.  Good to see the children of the minor gods getting more representation.   Emmie and Jo live in a magical building called the Waystation, a refuge for demigods and other magical beings.  The Waystation is bigger on the inside than outside, and thus we must conclude that Emmie and Jo are Time Lords, and Waystation is their TARDIS...nah, I'm just being silly. 

On a more serious note, Emmie and Jo also teach us quite a bit about how the Hunters of Artemis work.  Apparently, when Artemis said no romance, she meant it.  Gay romance is just as off-limits as straight romance in the Hunters. Well, that's the opposite of what I figured.  I always pegged the Hunters as the type to have nightly lesbian orgies, but I guess I was wrong.  It also appears that, upon leaving the Hunters, the former Hunters resuming aging at a normal rate.  Their clocks become unpaused, as it were.  I'll add that one thing I liked about Jo is that she shows the potential creativity and flexibility demigods have with their powers.  She's a daughter of Hecate, but her specialty is magical technology.  As such, she makes all kinds of lovely magical machines to rival anything a child of Hephaestus might craft. 

Also, Emmie and Jo are well written LGBT characters, unlike a certain green-haired sociopath hailing from the Magnus Chase series.  I'm just saying, it's pretty clear that Rick knows how to write gay and bisexual characters, but he's pretty clueless about transgender characters.  Also, just a thought, but Rick says that the reason his leads tend to be dudes are because he's a dude, and that's his experience.  Now consider that Apollo is a bisexual...hey, Uncle Rick?  Is there something you'd like to share with the class?  On the other hand, Rick isn't black like Carter, or a girl like Sadie, so I suppose that pokes a hole in that theory.  

Among notable monsters, this book sees the blemmyae make an appearance.  They're those creatures that look like people with faces in the center of their chests.  I found the way they were described amusing, as Apollo make them sound like monsters off of an episode of Power Rangers.  Marco Polo claimed to have encountered blemmyae on his famous journey to China.  Hmm, I wonder if Marco Polo was a demigod in the Riordanverse?  

Among the new gods to appear, Britimartis was interesting.  She used to be the Minoan goddess of the hunt, but now is the Greek goddess of nets and traps.  There are scholars who believe that Britimartis was a pre-existing goddess who got incorporated into the Greek Pantheon.  Of course, we know basically nothing about the Minoans, since we have no Minoan version of the Rosetta Stone, so who knows?  Headless Agamethus and his magic eight ball were fun too. 

Now let's talk about the second member of the Triumvirate.  We know that Nero is emperor one, and pretty much everyone called Caligula as emperor number three, but there was a lot of speculation about emperor two.  I'd floated around the idea that it might be Commodus, and it appears I was right.  I'd actually been a bit hesitant about pinning Commodus as number two.  Few would argue that Commodus wasn't an incompetent emperor, but it might be a bit of stretch to say he was as evil as Nero and Caligula.  Commodus was, basically, a spoiled trust-fund kid.  He was more interested in living it up and partying than he was in governing Rome.  He also loved to dress us as Hercules, hence his nickname The New Hercules.  To put it into perspective how ridiculous that is, imagine if the president of the Untied States insisted on giving speeches while dressed as Superman or Captain America. 

I will say that I give props to Riordan for including how Commodus died.  He was indeed drowned in a bath.  Though, in the Riordanverse, it was his lover Apollo that did him in.  That's one of the things the film Gladiator gets wrong, though to be fair, it would be hard to make that an emotionally dramatic scene.  Also, Commodus did not kill his father Marcus Aurelius, and there was no movement to make Rome a republic again.  Gladiator plays fast and loss with history, but it's still an enjoyable and well-made film.  While not completely historically accurate, it captures the feeling of what it was like to live in the Roman Empire well.  Perhaps I'll give it a proper review at some point.  Well, that aside over, back to the retrospective.

You know, it gets me thinking, what if there's a good counterpart to Triumvirate Holdings?  If the bad emperors are running around, it stands to reason that there are the good ones somewhere out there.  Maybe they could be emperors with connections to the Triumvirate?  Obvious, Marcus Aurelius for Commodus, and Claudius for Caligula.  He was Caligula's uncle, and is widely considered the smartest of the emperors.  For Nero, perhaps Augustus?  Julius Caesar wasn't emperor, but maybe he could appear too?  Titus and Tiberius might also make good candidates.  

We also get some excellent worldbuilding in this book.  We know that Chinese Mythology is real, as Apollo mentions nearly hitting a Chinese dragon with his sun chariot one time.  Then we meet Olujime from Nigeria.  He's clearly got a connection to the Yoruba orishas, meaning Yoruba Mythology is true.  Specifically, he's got some kind of connection to Shango, orisha of thunder.  Orisha's are basically the same things as gods, just a matter of semantics.  Shango is associated with black and red, as is Jaime.  Shango's symbol is the double headed axe, which Jamie fights with.  Jaime also has lighting powers, and as mentioned, Shango is god of thunder.  Shango is also believed to possibly be an inspiration for the American folk hero John Henry.  Oh course, John Henry was real in the Riordanverse, but he was a son of Thor.  Yet another mark against Magnus Chase, but I digress.   

It's a damn shame that Rick isn't going to be tackling non-Western mythologies.  He's clearly got a passion and knowledge in them, much as he'd like to deny that.  Of course, just look at how many books he's written as it is.  My theory on why the Rick Riordan Presents imprint came about is that Rick is getting worn out from all the writing, and knows it was this or hiring ghost writers to keep up with demand.  The fact that it gave him an opportunity to virtue signal about promoting minority writers just happened to be a nice bonus.  Like I said, just speculation on my part. 

The scene where Apollo loses his memories when going to the Oracle of Trophonius was fun.  Rick should have his characters get high more often. Also, note that he destroys Trophonius, rather than restoring him.  I can't help but wonder if that's going to have significance in the future books of the trilogy.    Also, yay, Thalia is back.  I was a bit disappointed that she didn't play a bigger role, but I'll take what I can get.  It would have been nice if Artemis had appeared to, but maybe in the future books.  In other small, but by no means insignificant appearances, Grover is back!  He's back at last!  Of course, we'll talk more about him when we get to The Burning Maze.  

Now then, let's analyze the cover.  The see Apollo riding on a griffin along with...well, I'm not entirely sure.  My impulse is to say Calypso, but the Hunters of Artemis jacket is throwing me for a loop.  We also see war ostriches wearing Imperial German pickelhaube.  I just knew I was in for a good time when I saw this book cover.  Robbie Daymond continues doing excellent work as narrator of the audiobook version.  

Well, that should do it for this retrospective.  I know I've said it before, but I'm glad to have all of you along for the ride with me.  It was nice to do one of a book I enjoyed.  I bring this up because next time we're heading back to Magnus Chase for another bad book beat down.  Join me again next time when we take a look back at The Ship of the Dead.  I will see you all next time.  

Riordan Retrospective: The Hammer of Thor

Welcome once again to the Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means we're taking a look at Percy Jackson, its sequel series and its spin-off series.  This is less of a formal review, and more of a look back, along with my thoughts and observations.  Last time we took a look back at the companion book Camp Half-Blood Confidential.  This time, we return to Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard for the moment you've all been waiting for.  We're taking at The Hammer of Thor, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard book 2.  Let's kick things off with a brief summary. 

Magnus Chase, son of the Norse god Frey, has been adjusting fairly well to his afterlife in Valhalla.  Ah, but things rarely stay calm for long.  Thor's hammer is missing again, and if Magnus and the gang don't it back, it could mean the start of Ragnarok.  To do this, Magnus will need the help of a green-haired genderfluid sociopath named Alex Fierro.  There's action and adventure as Magnus develops Stockholm Syndrome and begins a budding romance that has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship.  He's also got a massive Oedipus Complex going on.  Seriously dude, how many times are you going to compare Alex to your dead mom?  Along the way, he'll team up with his trusty sidekick Sam, who had degenerated into a token Muslim with no personality beyond her religion and being a walking oxymoron.  Also, Blitz and Hearth are there too.  So, get ready to get woke as Helheim, as Norse Mythology meets an overbearing political screed in a massive brain fart that Rick Riordan decided to turn into a book...for some reason. 

Yeah, as you can tell by my unusually bitter and sarcastic summary, I really, really hate this book.  I didn't think it was possible.  I never thought I'd see the day that Rick Riordan wrote a book that I loathed with every atom of my body.  Ah, but how the madman proved me wrong.  This is the moment I've been hint at for a while now.  Where do I even begin with this one?  

Well, let's start with the big one: Alex Fierro.  Imagine a scenario a bit like the movie Weird Science, but instead of creating a hot girl, something goes horribly wrong and the computer brings Tumblr to life.  That, in a nutshell, is Alex.  Riordan said he wanted to use Alex so that transgender kids would feel represented.  You might claim this is well intentioned, but as is often quoted, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Moreover, unless those transgender kids happen to jerks and sociopaths, they probably won't see themselves reflected in Alex.  The very first thing she says to Magnus, when he gets confused about her being trans, is "it's not my job to educate you!"  She says this, and yet she always flips out whenever someone gets her gender wrong.  Okay, so if it isn't your job to educate them, how are they supposed to know any of this?!  

Alex is clearly cast from the same mold as Thalia and Zia, but Riordan left out a critical component.  Thalia and Zia worked because they actually had sympathetic qualities and got called out when they went too far.  Alex, by contrast, lacks any sympathetic qualities and never gets called out for being a dick to everyone she encounters.  Riordan seems to have fallen into the trap of thinking that, because Alex is spunky and irreverent, she's a strong character.  He also seemed to be under the impression that, if he made the other characters love Alex, it would translate into the readers loving Alex.  Suffice it to say that this turned out to be very, very wrong.  He did this before with Jason and Piper, but it's even worse here.  

It almost feels like Alex is an example of black propaganda.  Black propaganda is where you pretend to be in favor of position A, but you're actually in favor of position B, and you're trying to make people who support position A look bad.  Also, let's talk about when Magnus first meets Alex and pontificates about homeless transgender kids.  The way the dialogue is written makes it sound like he's become possessed by a gender studies major.  Seriously, you expect me to believe a kid whose been living on the streets of Boston for the past two years would talk like that?  As for Alex being genderfluid, I find that suspect as well. It is hinted that this is due to her shape shifting abilities.  However, if that is the case, it makes for piss-poor representation.  Shocking as I’m sure you’ll find it, most people who identify as genderfluid are not shapeshifters.  I'm also baffled at how many LGBTQ awards this book won because of Alex.  Representation doesn't mean jack when the one transgender character has no empathy for other people, and is a total sociopath.    

Okay, enough about Alex, let's get on to the second major problem: Sam.  As I've previously stated, she had a lot of red flags that I really should have taken more seriously.  Whereas in Sword of Summer she was ambiguously Muslim, by Hammer of Thor, Sam is unabashedly Muslim.  So, she's a Muslim demigod...um, what?!  Yeah, Riordan bullshits about how Sam doesn't believe the gods are actual gods, but it just doesn't hold water.  How does she reconcile the fact that the afterlife is different than what Islam says?  For that matter, why would God have created the Norse gods at all?  Frankly, Sam's not being a skeptic or keeping an open-mind, she's in complete denial.  As Carter and Sadie Kane will tell you, denial ain't just a river in Egypt.  Riordan should have stuck to what Chiron said back in The Lightning Thief; the matter of capital-G God should have been kept out of the books.  Also, Magnus should not be calling himself an atheist!  He has rock-solid proof that there is an afterlife and gods.  I don't know what I'd be calling myself in his situation, but I sure wouldn't be calling myself an atheist anymore. 

The entire universe seemed to bend over backwards to accommodate Sam and her beliefs.  For example, there was the meeting with Heimdall.  I'm not sure I'm ever going to forgive Riordan for what he did to Heimdall.  In Norse Mythology, Heimdall is a noble and honorable god who guards the Bifrost bridge that links Asgard and Midgard.  He knows that one day Ragnork will come, and yet he doesn't run from his duty.  So, how does Riordan portray Heimdall?  Why, as an overgrown teenager who is addicted to his cellphone, of course.  Then, to add insult to injury, Riordan has Heimdall tell Sam that he doesn't believe he and the Aesir are actually gods, and he's with her.  It was at this point that I was very tempted to throw by head back and scream at the sky in frustration.  That scene further underscores the world bending over to accommodate Sam and her beliefs. 

Heimdall demonstrates a major flaw in the series: the gods as Riordan has written them, are too quirky for their own good.  Well, there are a few exceptions such as Frey and Vidar, but overall they're just too damn silly.  It is true that Rick has often given the gods little quirks and moments of silliness, but he always balanced it out with moments of seriousness and gravitas.  

Also, the pop cultural references.  My gods, this book is practically a time capsule of the mid-2010s.  It's like Riordan was unintentionally writing a period piece.  Rick said he purposefully avoided too many pop culture references in the Percy Jackson books so that they would have a timeless feel to them.  When he started using references in The Kane Chronicle and Heroes of Olympus, he did so sparingly.  He also referenced things that have been around for a while, such as Doctor Who and Marvel and DC Comics, so they would age well.  Here, it's like he's having a contest to see how many references he can cram in. 

Ironically, in his bid to be progressive, Riordan has promoted the most conservative aspects of Islam.  For example, he had Sam wearing a hijab.  Contrary to what the media might have to believe, over half of all the Muslim women in America don't wear the hijab.  There's also a certain irony of a supposedly strong female hero running around in a medieval chastity helmet.  Does this mean we're going to get a Mormon demigod who wears the special Mormon underwear?  Or maybe a Scientologist demigod who constantly quotes from Dianetics?  Yeah, don't hold your breath; Riordan wouldn't be able to score any political brownie points if he did that.  Sam talks about how the hijab is her choice.  However, this ignores the fact that, for Muslims women in most other parts of the world, hijab is most certainly not a choice.  These women will often face major social and legal repercussions if they dare appear in public with their hijab.  Way to kick them while they're down, Rick.

Also, Sam is in an arranged marriage...to her cousin.  Did Rick Riordan seriously just promote incest in the name of so-called diversity?  Oh, but it gets worse.  Sam takes an oath that she will not touch another man until she marries Amir.  Oh, and did I mention that she invokes Allah while making this oath in the presence of a pagan deity?  I can't be the only one who found the whole thing downright creepy and utterly cringeworthy.  Also, Sam and Amir must be chaperoned by a male guardian/authority figure whenever they're together.  What the actual Helheim, Rick!  Are you seriously promoting male guardianship culture?!  There are women in the Muslim world risking their lives to fight that shit!  Rick Riordan is spitting in the faces of Muslims Reformers and Ex-Muslims everywhere, and he doesn't even have the decency to call it rain!  

Riordan has said that Percy and Annabeth aren't getting engaged because they're too young.  Yeah, serious double standard there.  Apparently, teenagers getting engaged is okay if they're Muslim.  Also, here's another fact you probably didn't know, over sixty percent of all religiously motived hate crimes in America are committed against Jews.  Bizarrely enough, it took a while before we finally got a Jewish demigod.  Islam is not like Judaism.  You can be culturally Jewish even if you're an atheist; there's no such thing as a cultural Muslim.  Muslim denotes religion.  

Now, some people say Riordan made Sam to fight racism against Muslim.  Oh, really now, and just what kind of racism is that?  Is it against White Muslims from Chechnya?  Black Muslims from Nigeria?  Asian Muslims from Malaysia?  Brown Muslims from Bangladesh?  Or maybe Iranian Muslims who are so fair-haired and light-skinned that they look like white people?  Islam is a religion, not a race.  Also, Middle Eastern does not automatically mean Muslim.  Riordan ought to know this, give that Zia is a non-Muslim Middle Easterner.  

Well, enough about Sam for now, let's move on to other matters.  So there a scene where Magnus complains about Hotel Valhalla engaging in cultural appropriation...Mr. Riordan, did you seriously just have Magnus say that?!  Okay, one, cultural appropriation is...well, basically the history of how culture works.  Cultures have always mixed, matched and borrowed from each other.  It is exceedingly rare to find anything that doesn't owe some aspect of its existence to another culture.  Oh, and this is my favorite part, Rick Riordan wouldn't have a career if it weren't for cultural appropriation!  Tell me, Rick, are you Greek, Roman or Egyptian?  If not, then why did you write books about those mythologies?  Are you perhaps throwing around terms without knowing what they mean in a desperate attempt to prove you're down with the kids?  Is this why The Kane Chronicles has been treated like a red-haired stepchild as of late? Then again, Kane Chronicles is getting a movie, and Magnus Chase is not.  Be thankful for small mercies, I suppose. 

Moving on, the trip of Alfheim was very disappointing.  I had this problem a bit with Nidavellir in Sword of Summer, it just didn't feel magical enough.  Alfheim was exactly like a bog standard rich people suburb.  At times, I had to remind myself that those scenes were in the land of the light elves.  One of the big appeals of the Riordanverse, to me, is how it blends the mythical with the modern.  I love how it shows that there can be magic and adventure in America, and you don't have to go to some distant land for all that.  However, whenever Carter and Sadie go to the Duat, or Percy and company go to Mount Olympus, it's all properly mystical and otherworldly.  The Nine Worlds lean far too much on the mundane side of the equation.  

Magnus talks about how black homeless people are bullied by the police and...wait a minute.  In Sword of Summer, Magnus mentions a Latino policeman giving him and the other homeless people trouble so...did Rick Riordan accidentally admit that Latinos can be racist too?  Also, it's kind of hypocritical for Rick to be preaching about how money isn't everything.  He might not be a millionaire, but he's certainly not hurting for money either.  The really sad part is that Alfheim, and Hearth's abusive family, could have worked if Rick had put actual effort into writing it, rather than making it a caricature of the 1%.  

Let's see, I feel like I'm forgetting something.  What could it be?  Oh, yeah!  The gods of Asgard, allegedly, they were in this book too.  In Sword of Summer, I liked how Loki had a somewhat nuanced portrayal.  Well, that's all been thrown out the window come this book.  Loki was so mustache-twirlingly evil he came across as less a figure from Norse Mythology, and more like a villain on a Saturday Morning Cartoon.  There is way more too Loki than just his role in Ragnarok.  True, Loki did kill Balder.  However, the gods bound his son Fenris wolf, banish his daughter Hel to Helheim, turned his son Vali into a wolf that killed his other son Nari.  Then they killed Vali and used his intestines to bind Loki.  I guess what trying to say is, Loki has some damn good reasons to be pissed at the gods.  You could see him as representing consequences, for it was by harming his children that the gods made Loki their enemy.  

Moreover, Odin knew the prophecies of Ragnarok.  He knew that by doing these things he was guaranteeing that Loki would fight against him at Ragnarok, but he did them anyway.  Though, you could argue that Odin knew that he was as much a slave to destiny as Loki, so what would be the point of fighting it?  

Well, back to Political Pontificating with Uncle Rick, also staring Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  The Floor 19 gang were even more criminally underutilized than in the last book.  That's especially bad, given that they're all way more interesting than Alex and Sam!  Also, ugh, why oh why did she have to be named Sam?  Why Rick, why?!  I guess this is how people named Gabriel feel about Smelly Gabe.  In other underutilized characters, we get a cool cameo from Vidar at the end.  Sadly, he never returns.  I forgot to mention this last time, but it's made to seem like the gods are missing from Asgard and need to be gathered and reassembled.  This plot threat never goes anywhere, and is apparently a red herring.  Well, that or Rick just didn't care. 

As I've previously stated, Surt would have made a much better villain than Loki.  He's fated to kill Frey, Magnus' father, and would have made a fitting antagonist for Magnus.  He's been working on a flaming sword since the dawn of time.  When he completes the sword, it will be one of the things that will signal the start of Ragnarok.  

There's another mark against Magnus Chase as a series, going back to what I said about the gods being too silly.  In the past, even with Riordan having his fun and being silly, you could tell he had a deep respect and appreciation for the Greek, Egyptian and Roman myths.  That is totally absent here.  It feels like he's almost gleeful about the way he's pissing and shitting all over Norse Mythology.  

Well, guess I ought to analyze the cover.  We see Magnus standing before an oversized version of the titular hammer.  On either side are the faces of Thor and Loki. 

The audiobook version is one of the more redeeming aspects of The Hammer of Thor.  They've changed narrators with Kieran Culkin taking over as narrator.  Overall, he does a pretty good job, and doesn't sound too noticeably different from Christopher Guetig.  

What else can I say?  The Hammer of Thor sucks and I hated it.  This was the peak of the storm, but I'm not done tearing Magnus Chase to shreds yet.  We've still got to get through The Ship of the Dead and Nine From the Nine Worlds.  For now, however, we're going to return to The Trials of Apollo to discuss a book a actually did enjoy.  

Join me next time when we take a look back at The Dark Prophecy.  I will see you all then.