Riordan Retrospective: Demigods and Magicians

Welcome once again to my Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means Percy Jackson, its sequels, and spin-offs.  This is less of a formal review and more of a casual look back.  Last time, we finished our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard with a look back at 9 From the Nine Worlds.  This time, the moment you've all been waiting for has arrived.  We're looking at the Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles crossover Demigods and Magicians. 

I'd been putting this one off because the audiobook wasn't available through Audible.com, my preferred source of audiobooks.  However, it is available via iTunes, but not as a complete set.  Just type in the name of the individual stories: "The Son of Sobek", "The Staff of Serapis", and "The Crown of Ptolemy."  The one you want is the one that cost $2.99, because those are the ones that comes with the audiobooks.  While we're on the subject, there is a very special narrator for "Son of Sobek" and "Staff of Serapis".  You see, Rick Riordan himself narrates these stories.  He is just as great a narrator as he is a writer.  It is certainly interesting to see how he imagines the characters sounding.  It isn't terribly different to how Jesse Bernstein narrates.  Incidentally, Jesse returns to narrate "Crown of Ptolemy".  He is as excellent as ever. 

The first story is called "The Son of Sobek."  Carter Kane is on a mission to Long Island to investigate reports of mysterious magical activity.  He's nearly eaten by a giant crocodile, but is saved by a teenager wielding magic like nothing Carter's ever seen before.  The teenager's name?  Percy Jackson.  Carter and Percy are going to have to team up to take down a petsuchos.  

Interesting that the crossover begin's from the Kane's point-of-view, rather than Percy's.  Then again, 2/3 of the crossover are told from Percy and Annabeth's point-of-view.  Also interesting in that the monster of the story was a purely Egyptian creature, rather than a Greco-Egyptian hybrid like the other stories.  I like how these story feel like a throwback to the early days when Percy Jackson and the Olympians was still making a name for itself.  We'd all been hoping for something like this; epically after all the hints Rick left in The Kane Chronicles.  Also, we finally get to see Percy use his hurricane generation powers again.  It takes quite the strain on him, which is why he doesn't use it as often, but still it was nice.  

There's an amusing scene towards the beginning where Percy asks Carter if he's a half-blood, as in a demigod.  However, Carter briefly misinterprets it as a racial slur.  This is how you know Percy Jackson and the Olympians was first written in 2005.  If it had started today, some idiot would get offended over the use of the word half-blood, and faux-outrage would ensue.  Anyway, all in all an excellent start to the collection. 

The second story is called "The Staff of Serapis."  Annabeth Chase is on her way to an architect interview when she attacked by a monster with the heads of a lion and wolf.  Thankfully, a mysterious girl Sadie Kane soon arrives to help take down the monster.  The two girls are going to have to team up to take down the Greco-Egyptian god Serapis.  

There's a great scene at the beginning where Annabeth evades the monsters by tricking its heads into arguing with each other.  It recalls her time in the catacombs of Rome in The Mark of Athena.  It goes to show, particularly in how she worded things, that she and Percy might not be so different after all.  Annabeth and Sadie get along noticeably better than Carter and Percy did.  Granted, Percy and Carter got into a fight not long after meeting, which probably set the tone for things.  

They are facing off against Serapis.  He was originally a minor Egyptian deity, but rose to prominence during the Ptolemaic Dynasty.  In fact, Serapis was considered the head of the combined Greco-Egyptian pantheon for many years.  Several centers of learning where built from temples dedicated to Serapis known as Serapeum.  The Ptolemaic Dynasty gets its name from Ptolemy.  He was one of the three generals who inherited Alexander the Great's empire.  Alexander died childless, so his four general carved the empire among themselves.  Ptolemy got Egypt, and his dynasty would be the last to rule Egypt before the Romans conquered them.  As you can imagine, the Ptolemaic Dynasty saw quite a bit of mixing of Greek and Egyptian culture. 

Interesting fact, Alexander the Great claimed to be both a son of Zeus and the reincarnation of Achilles.  Knowing the Riordanverse, there's a high probability that he wasn't just blowing smoke.  I can't help but wonder if that will become relevant in the future, but I digress.  Also, in case you're wonder, the other three generals were Seleucus, Antigonus, and Cassander.  Seleucus got Persia, and the Seleucid Dynasty is named after him.  Cassander got most of mainland Greece, and Antigonus got Turkey and the bits of Greece Cassander didn't get. 

Serapis was trying to build a new Lighthouse of Alexandria, also known as the Pharos.  Alexandria was founded by Alexander the Great, and served as the capital of the Ptolemaic Dynasty, so it is certainly fitting.  He was doing this to harness enough Greek and Egyptian magic to take down the other gods.  Also, thanks to Rick narration, I realize I've been pronouncing Hecate wrong all these years.  It is "heck-at" not "heck-uh-tea."  Once again, an excellent story.  

Our final story is titled "The Crown of Ptolemy."  The rouge undead magician Setne has been behind all the strange happenings.  Setne plans on attaining ultimate power by combining both Greek and Egyptian magic.  However, if he wants to do that he's going to have to take down Percy, Annabeth, Carter, and Sadie.  To stop Setne, our heroes are going to have to do a bit of mixing and matching of their own.  

I knew we'd be seeing something like this as soon as I got to the end of The Serpent's Shadow.  Setne was still missing, the Kanes had reports of mysterious magic on Long Island, it was all there. Throughout the collect there has been a them about working together, and combining the best aspects of both systems.  That theme is especially strong here.  Early on, Percy loses Riptide when Setne absorbs it into his body.  So he makes due with one of Carter's spare wands, which turns into a kopis, a variation on the khopesh used during the Ptolemaic Dynasty.  Later, Carter uses Annabeth's invisibility cap as part of the plan.  

Oh, but that's just the warm-up.  Percy winds up hosting the vulture goddess Nekhbet.  This makes him quite possibly the first Greek demigod, that we know of, to host an Egyptian deity.  He's also quite possibly the only person without blood of the pharaohs to do so.  Of course, demigod blood is more than a sufficient substitute, as Nekhbet attests.  Also impressive in that Nekhbet and Poseidon have nothing in common.  We know from previous books that bad things can happen if a host and their god use different sorts of magic.  Then again, Percy was kind of perfect for the role.  He turned down the opportunity to become a god, and that willpower and determination allows him to keep Nekhbet in check. 

Then, as if that wasn't awesome enough, Sadie tells her Annabeth her ren; as in, secret name.  This allows Annabeth to temporarily gains the ability to read hieroglyphics and perform Egyptian magic.  That makes Annabeth among a select few to crack the magic of hieroglyphics without having blood of the pharaohs.  There's an amusing scene where Percy muses that Sadie is like what would happen if he and Annabeth were to have a kid.  She has Annabeth's looks, but is impulsive and fidgety like Percy.  I liked the bits where Percy and Sadie interacted, and the same with Carter and Annabeth interacting.  I kind of wish we'd gotten two more stories; one with Percy and Sadie teaming up, and one with Carter and Annabeth joining forces.  

I should mention that Setne is trying to absorb Nekhbet and the cobra goddess Wadjet to gain the power of the Crown of Ptolemy.  That way, he can become a god, absorb the other gods, and gain the ultimate power of both the Greek and Egyptian pantheons.  I kind of wish Wadjet had been the one Percy hosted, since we already encountered Nekhbet in the main Kane Chronicles series.  Nekhbet and Wadjet are the snake and vulture on the double crown of the pharaohs, and are both guardians of the pharaohs.  Nekhbet for the white  crown of Upper Egypt, and Wadjet for the red crown of Lower Egypt.  He's doing all this on Governor's Island, because it is halfway between Manhattan and Brooklyn, the hearts of the Greek and Egyptian pantheons in America. 

While overall Jesse does great with the narration, there is one minor point I have to ding him on.  He has Setne talk like Elvis, because Percy says he looks like Elvis.  There's is no evidence that this is how Setne talks.  You know, when a series has multiple narrators, they really should exchange notes with each other.  

Anyway, Setne is defeated and sealed in a snow globe.  Our heroes decide that, in light of everything that has happened, it's best that they not tell anyone about their adventures.  Thus, we get the overall moral of the short story collection: multiculturalism will inevitably lead to disaster...wait a minute, that can't possibly be correct!  The real moral is that we should all stick to our own kind...oh gods, that's even worse!  Uh...yeah, Rick probably didn't intend it, but the collection does inadvertently end with a "we're better off apart" feeling. 

Sure, there would be more problems if Camp Half-Blood and Brooklyn House knew of each other, but also more solutions.  Just think of the potential.  I'm sure Percy and the other demigods would have been grateful for some Egyptian magic during the war against Gaea.  I'm also pretty sure that the magicians of the House of Life would have appreciated some Greek assistance for the battle against Apophis.  Just think of the potential.  Sadly, it seems that Percy, Carter, Annabeth, and Sadie will be the only ones to know of both the Greeks and Egyptians.  Well, I'm pretty certain that Chiron and Uncle Amos know, but you get what I mean. 

Still, despite the unintentionally message, this was still an awesome story.  In fact, the whole collection is a welcome return to form after the trainwreck that is Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  Now let's analyze the covers.  For the story collection as a whole we see Riptide and an Egyptian Khopesh crossed over each other.  Simple yet effective.  

Next we move on to the cover for "The Son of Sobek" where we see...ahhh!  Percy!  Carter!  What have they done to you?!  The covers for the individual short stories are by Antonio Camparo.  He...leaves something to be desired as an artist.  It would seem that he is drawing inspiration from John Rocco's character art.  I think we can all agree that it is better now that Viria has replaced John Rocco as the official character artists.  Rocco usually makes great cover art, but his charcter art leaves something to be desired.  Percy and Carter look like they're about to eat the reader.  It's even worse since Carter kind of looks like a young Bill Cosby.  

Next we the cover for "The Staff of Serapis."  We see here...no!  Annabeth!  Sadie!  Not you too!  Annabeth looks like she's become a meth addict, and Sadie isn't much better.  It's always a bad sign when the monsters look friendlier and more appealing than the heroines.  I would not like to meet these character portraits in a dark alley, or anywhere, for that matter. 

Finally, we have the cover of "The Crown of Ptolemy."  Well, I guess it isn't completely terrible.  Of course, that's also like saying that this cover was the shiniest turd in the pile.  It’s still pretty bad.  All the characters look like those 30-year-old high schoolers you’d see on television shows from the 1990s and early 2000s.  Stress can cause premature aging, but not like this.  Thank goodness the collection has a better cover than the individual stories.  

Here, have a picture of Percy that Viria drew so that we all don't lose our sanity.  And be sure to check out all of her other excellent official character art over here.  You can also find her over on DeviantArt. 

And that was "Demigods and Magicians."  A highly anticipated crossover that did not fail to deliver. It was a long time coming, but it was worth the wait.  Now, we've got one more Kane Chronicles stop to make before returning to The Trials of Apollo.  Join me next time when we take a look back at Brooklyn House Magician's Manual.  I will see you guys next time.  

I Got to Write an Episode of The Twilight Histories

As I'm sure you know, I've been a huge fan of the Twilight Histories podcast for a long time now.  There really is nothing else like it, and I'm constantly amazing at the brave new worlds Jordan and the gang dream up.  I had, from time to time, fantasized about getting to write an episode or two of my own.  I fantasized, but I never considered it a serious possibility.  Then one day I saw a pig fly by, and then it began to rain malted milk balls.  And by all of I that, I mean, of course, that Jordan opened it the podcast to guest authors.

This was the chance I'd been waiting for.  And yet, I wasn't sure if could measure up to the standards of The Twilight Histories.  So, I tried to pitch a couple short stories I'd been shopping around.  However, a little encouragement from Jordan, I instead set out to write my very own Twilight Histories episode.  It would be set in a dieselpunk Aztec Empire.  I'd always had this image in my mind of an Aztec city, with dieselpunk style technology, at war against an equally dieselpunk Japan armed with robot samurai.  I'd also had little bits and pieces of ideas set in this Aztec inspired world. 

My task now was to string these mental movie clips into a cohesive narrative.  I removed any elements that were explicitly fantastical or supernatural, which wasn't too hard.  Hey, I still got to keep the robots and mechanical marvels.  Anyway, I got the first draft finished and...well, in hindsight, it was pretty terrible.  I laugh at it now, but when I read the feedback Jordan gave, I was half-afraid he was going to seriously reconsider our deal.  Still, I pressed on and went to work on the second draft.  I effectively had to start from scratch, but I think we can all agree that the end result was worth it. 

There were some delays in the production, but I never complained, and I was never ungrateful for all that Jordan was doing for me.  Then it finally happened.  Part 1 of "True Aztec" premiered and I finally got to here something I'd written given life in audio.  As a big fan of podcasts and audiobooks, it has been my goal to hear my fiction read and produced in audio form.  Preferably on my favorite fiction podcasts.  There was a bit of a wait, but then Part 2 arrived, and it wasn't long before Part 3 and Part 4 arrived.

 I managed tosell a story to The Centropic Oracle while Part 1 was in production.  As my story, called "Spelling Test", moved into production, Centropic Oracle would ask if I had any other publications I ought to list.  This meant I'd occasionally have to ask Jordan how production was going, and I always felt really bad about doing so.  He was already doing so much, I didn't want to sound ungrateful or unappreciative. 

"True Aztec" has, by all accounts, been warmly received by the listeners.  It always received lots of likes on the Twilight Histories' Facebook page, and lots of retweets and likes on Twitter.  I heard from listeners who couldn't wait for the next installments, and I had an especially lovely conversation from an adoring fan over on DeviantArt.  More than just that, my fellow Twilight Histories writers Josh Hutchins and Kevin Valbonesi gave "True Aztec" high marks, with Kevin even mentioning that he could wait for Part 4 after hearing Part 3.  That, perhaps more than anything, was a sign that I'd done a great job crafting the episode.  Of course, Jordan did help tidy it up a bit, and make it a bit more polished. 

Of course, the episode wouldn't exist without the excellent team of voice actors behind it.  "True Aztec" is the first Twilight Histories episode to feature a different narrator in each episode, and the first to feature female narrators.  "True Aztec" set all sorts of milestones for The Twilight Histories.  The narrators are, in order of appearance: Jason Wallace, Charlie Albers, Grainne Noel, and Daniel Cryer.  I also got snazzy episode art.  I don't know if it was Kevin or Jordan who made it, but either way, I love it.    

Originally, I wrote the story in third-person due to a miscommunication with Jordan.  He asked me to write like Josh Hutchin's episode "Dead Emperor" which is in first-person, but the email said third-person.  I figured he meant first-person, but wasn't sure if it was the other way round in Commonwealth English.  So, I named the protagonist Apollo Rhodes, with his Aztec name being Toltecatl.  There wasn't any real reason why I picked Apollo; I thought of the poet Apollonius of Rhodes, and thus we get a name.  As for Totecatl...well, seemed as good a name as any.  The episode was edited into a standard second-person narration, which is what I always wanted from the start, so I'm very pleased with it.  That said, you will occasionally see certain little hints and slips of the original script poke through in the finished episodes. 

Now that we've got the technical stuff out the way, let's talk a bit more about how I came up with the story for "True Aztec."  I've always loved the history of Pre-Columbian Mesoamerica, and of the Native Americans in general.  It has always irked me that the Aztecs tend to get reduced to bloodthirsty stock villains.  True, they practiced human sacrifice and other thing modern society finds objectionable, but they were much more than that.  They were one of the only societies with mandatory education for both men and women.  Those sacrificed got to live like kings in the year leading up to the sacrifice.  Let's also not forget how those sacrificed were believed to receive the best possible afterlife.  Heck, the Mesoamericans believed their sacrifices were necessary to keep the universe running.  Not saying there were never politically or military reasons behind it; but I am saying that it's more nuanced that most people give them credit for.

The point is, the Aztecs way too often get an undeserved bad reputation.  I wanted to make a story where the Aztecs got to be the heroes for a change.  The Aztec Empire was founded as an alliance between three tribes.  That's why it is often known as the Triple Alliance.  I basically took that idea of one nation made of many people, and expanded it into something akin to the melting pot thing we have in America and Canada.  Jingjing, Balam, Tupac, and the citizens of Shin Nihon might not be ethnically Mexica, but they are Aztecs in all the ways that count.  That's what Necalli never understood.  The Aztec Empire, in the world of "True Aztec", is not an ethnicity, it is an ideal.  So yes, all of the characters in "True Aztec" are Aztec regardless of their ethnicity or heritage.

So why is it that things diverge with the Tang Dynasty?  Well, from what I've researched, I determined that the An Lushan Rebellion was the point where China really began to decline in power.  I knew I wanted China to be allies with the Aztecs, and so I needed to keep them strong and outward looking.  It always wanted have East Asia and the Native Americans be the dominate economic, technological and cultural powers.  As such, I had to ensure that those pesky Europeans didn't screw-up my plans.  Originally, I intended Europe to get hit with an even worse Black Death, but the final script just has the, being a backwater because East Asia and the Aztec outclass the, technologically and economically.  I concede that having the Aztec and Inca being such powerhouses was rather unrealistic, but it was what I wanted for the story.  Plus, dieselpunk is inherently unrealistic.  I even acknowledge as much within the story.

I've always wondered what it would have been like had the Aztecs, Maya, and Inca hadn't been conquered by the Europeans.  What works of art and philosophy would they have created?  How would their societies have developed? 

So what about Japan?  Like I said, that was always a part of the original idea. I've noticed that, in a lot of the ideas for stories I have, I tend to use Imperial Japan, of some equivalent there of, as villains.  I'm not sure why this is.  I've always thought that the general public doesn't know enough about the war crimes of Imperial Japan.  Most of the stuff I had Minako say about here life in Hokkaido was based on things the Japanese did to the Ainu during World War II.  So, how did Japan become a major power in-story?  Well, originally they were allies and trading partners with the Chinese and Aztec.  So that's a how they got the tech that the Chinese and Aztec had.  They had done a bit of empires building, but the Chinese always tried to keep them in check.  However, things soured after the Caliphate War.  The Japanese felt they got snubbed and screwed over in the post-war negotiations, and turned against their former allies.  Out of universe, they became a major power because that's what I wanted for the story.

Also, I'm fully aware that the Aztec Empire was founded in the 15th Century, not the 10th.  That was the result of a miscommunication.  I never specified what year the Chinese made contact with the Aztecs, or what year the story was set in.  Thought I intended it to probably be a bit later than the 14th Century.  As such, Jordan had to figure the date based on the clues I left in the backstory, and I don't hold it against him.  Like I said, lack of communication and specification on my part.  Admittedly, it was kind of cool to think that the stories was happening in what was the Middle Ages in our world.  Well, this is alternate history, we can just say the Aztecs got founded earlier than in our world due to the butterfly effect and call it a day. 

A lot of the things I put into "True Aztec" are very much inspired by events from our world.  For example, the Pruners were inspired by the Society of the Righteous and Harmonious Fist, better known as the Boxers of China's Boxer Rebellion.  The Pruners want to revive human sacrifice and flower wars, but they are a fringe group, and don't represent the majority of the Aztecs.  I'd also like to emphasize that I've wanted to tell the story that became "True Aztec" for many years.  Those attempting to find commentary on modern politics will be shot.  Well, the scene where Nacalli tries to convince the crowd that Tupac poisoned the kids with vaccines was meant to be a swipe at those idiots who claim that vaccines lead to autism.  That's the only instance, however.  If you find anything else like that in "True Aztec" you're just seeing what you want to see. 

If there is a moral to "True Aztec" it can probably be summaries by what Emperor Montezuma says at the end.  Be good to you fellow humans, and appreciate the many strange and wonderful cultures and peoples that make up our world.  Obviously, this comes with the caveat that if a culture encourages oppression and suffering, such as Necalli and his goons, it's best left to the ash heap of history. 

"True Aztec" is a complete story, but I left little seeds that could possibly be expanded upon.  In hindsight, that was perhaps a tad cocky on my part.  I figured it would be a little something in case I ever got to write for Twilight Histories again; perhaps as a bonus episode.  The episode would follow Tupac's life in Cusco during the war between the Inca and the Japanese.  Well, as would be revealed, the Japanese didn't directly invade, they got one their allies to do that.  However, they did send troops on the pretense that they were protecting Japanese citizens within the Inca Empire.  Obviously, it would end with Tupac's wife and daughter getting killed, and him moving to Tenochtitlan.  We'd also get to see what Kaisa was like before she lost her leg.  All of this would be told within a frame story of the unnamed protagonist and his friends adjusting to life in post-invasion Tenochtitlan several months after the events of "True Aztec."  Obviously, there would be humorous moments where he explained how things went in our world, and them reacting with skepticism.

Perhaps someday I will write another Twilight Histories episode, but not any time too soon.  I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, or be ungrateful, or give Jordan Harbour a brain aneurysm.  Still, I do have a couple ideas kicking around should that day ever come. 

And what become of those more fantastical elements I had to remove from the story?  Oh, I saved them, and I'm in the process of adapting them into a comic book series that will be called The Calliope Brigade. Nice already got an artist, and we're in the very, very early stages of production.  I hope I will so be able to share the first issue with all of you.  I'm sure that, somewhere along the line, I'll be able to work in winks, nods, and references to The Twilight Histories. 

Things have really been looking up for The Twilight Histories lately.  It's been listed as one of Apple's Must Listen podcasts of 2019, is it one of the top 100 podcasts in Canada, and I got to be part of it.  The episodes continue both to live up to my expectations and to keep exceeding them.    

Well, I think that should be everything.  Go forth and enjoy my Twilight Histories episode "True Aztec" if you haven't done so already.  "True Aztec" Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.  It has been a long time coming, and I'm glad to finally have the chance to share it with all of you guys at last.  

Comic Review: Heavy Water

Not every work of fiction is what we might call quality literature, or high art, or some other third term. There are some pretty mindless works out there, but that doesn't mean they don't have value. Part of growing-up and being mature is realizing that sometimes you need brainless fun in your life. Why am I rambling like this? Don't worry, this all relates to what we're reviewing today. We're taking a look at the alternate history comic Heavy Water by Jonathan W.C. Mills and Alberto Muriel.

Heavy Water takes places in a world where Nazi Germany won World War II thanks to being the first nation to develop an atomic bomb. By the 21st century the Nazis rule the world with an iron grip.  Citizens are monitored by security cameras 24/7. Every aspect of their citizen's lives are harshly regimented. Police armed with laser guns roam the streets. It is a dark and grim place, but there is light in the darkness. Ben Haukelid is a mid-level bureaucrat doing his best to get by in life. Then he discovers that his girlfriend Floria is part of an underground resistance movement. The group aims to send someone back to World War II to stop the Nazis from getting the bomb. Before long, Ben is whisked away to Nazi-occupied Norway on a mission to change history.

Jonathan Mills certainly had lofty ambitions for this comic. I read an interview where he described it as Saving Private Ryan meets The Time Machine. At the risk of sounding harsh, it really fails to live up to that pedigree.

Well, first of all let me give credit where it is due. This comic has absolutely gorgeous art. This is certain par for course with Kickstart, the publisher of this and several other great comics; no relationship to Kickstarter.

Anyway, in terms of pacing this comic does reasonably decent. It feels a bit fast at the beginning, but it somewhat evens out. On the other hand, it takes over halfway through the comic before Ben travels back in time. It felt like the scenes in the past could have used a tad more attention than they got. One of my complains with Kickstart is that their books tend to be around 96 pages, but the writers clearly need more room to tell their stories.

Okay, let's talk alternate history. The time travel elements largely center around Knut Haukeld, an actual Norwegian resistance fighter from our world. He led several teams on raids of German heavy water production facilities in Norway. Ben, who is a descendent of Haukeld, is tasked with ensuring that the mission is a success.

Haukeld and his men were certainly brave and heroic; I'm not trying to deny that. However, they weren't the reason the Nazis never got the atomic bomb. Nazi scientists were forbidden from using any physics developed by Jewish physicists. This meant they were forbidden from using anything they might have helped them figured out how to make an atomic bomb. Moreover, Germany had at least eight different atomic bomb programs, all of whom competed against each other, and never cooperated. Nazi Germany didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of developing an atomic bomb.

Despite all of this, many works of alternate history act as though Germany was within fingers-lengths of developing a functioning atomic bomb. As stated about, this could not be further from the truth. Ironically, Imperial Japan was a lot closer to developing an atomic bomb. A few years ago cyclotrons were discovered in Korea. The Japanese put them there to avoid detection, and from recently discovered documents, it appears they might have only been months away from developing a working bomb. Of course, America's atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki put an end to all of that. Curiously, you don't see nearly as many alternate histories where Japan wins World War II, but I digress.

I found the Nazi occupied present day both unrealistic and a tad cliche. It felt a bit more like Nineteen Eighty-Four than a proper alternate history. I'm fairly certain the Nazi would have run into serious problems well before they would have been able to monitor everyone with security cameras 24/7. I also seriously doubt that there would be flying cars. Besides the technological limitations, there's way too many things that could go wrong as far as driving.

We also get hints that Norwegian has become a dead language. Yeah, considering how much the Nazis fetishized Nordic culture, there's no way that would happen. The comic opens in the city of New London, but appears to be built on the remains of old London. Slight problem, as it is mentioned that the Nazis nuked London. Shouldn't radiation be an issue?

Okay, so we've established that this comic has a lot going against it. So why do I still recommend it? Well, it is still enjoyable, in a turn-off your brain sort of way, as a science fiction action story. If you take it for what it is, it isn't half-bad as a action adventure comic. I got to learn about Knut Haukeld, so it wasn't completely without merit. Plausibility doesn't necessarily mean more entertaining. For example, Fatherland is generally considered a more plausible Nazi Victory scenario, but I always found it a tad boring. Heavy Water ain't high art, but it's reasonably entertaining.

Well, I think that covers everything I wanted to discuss about Heavy Water. I will see you guys next time.

Heavy Water

Riordan Retrospective: 9 From the Nine Worlds

Welcome once again to my Riordan Retrospective.  For those just joining the fun, this is my look back at Percy Jackson, its sequels and spin-off.  It's less of a formal review and more casual.  Last time, we took a look at The Burning Maze.  This time we're finishing our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.  We're taking a look at 9 From the Nine Worlds. 

This is a short story collection.  Magnus is off visiting with Annabeth, but his friends are all still having adventures.  Each story takes place in one of the nine worlds, and follows one of Magnus' friends.  The common theme is Thor jogging through the nine worlds to train with his Fitbit. 

Well, this book was exactly what I expected.  I expected it to be terrible, and it was.  The main problem was that all of the stories were way too short.  Most of the other short story collections had three or four stories.  This book, by contrast, has nine.  Each of them are roughly half the length of one of the stories from the other collections.  This isn't nearly enough time to properly develop the stories or characters.  As a result, the stories are little more than glorified action scenes.  The choice to have all of the stories be told in first-person didn't help matters.  All of the narrations were generic, interchangeable, and lacked distinct personality and voice.  

Speaking of narration, we're going to shake things up by jumping right into the audiobook.  Almost all of the narrators were horribly miscast.  The one exception was Paul Boehmer as Odin.  Now, most audiobooks about teenagers and kids will be narrated by adults, but the narrators will usually sound at least ballpark correct.  Well, they will if the people in charge of the production are competent.  That's not the case here, as the narrators are all quite obviously adults.  Moreover, they don't even sound remotely like how their characters ought to.  Each story has its own narrator.  I'll get into specifics as we dissect each story. 

The first story begins in Asgard, and sees Odin looking for a new captain of the Valkyries.  Overall, I'd say this was my favorite story of the collection, not that it means much.  What I loved about this story was the way it re-railed Odin's personality, and brought it more in line with the original mythology.  Odin could be pretty grouchy and nasty in the original myths.  He was also just as devious and prone to trickery as Loki was.  The two really weren't as different as you might think. 

One of the candidates is Boudicca; the Celtic queen from England who lead a failed resistance campaign against the Romans.  Okay, what's a Celtic queen doing in the Norse afterlife?  From The Trials of Apollo, we know that Chinese, Aztec, Mesopotamian, Thai, Hindu and Yoruba Mythology are all real in the Riordanverse.  It stands to reason that Celtic Mythology would be real as well.  So that irked me.  Then, of course, we got an appearance by Heimdall's lobotomized twin brother.  Oh, dear sweet Heimdall, noble guardian of the rainbow bridge, what has that madman done to you?  Look at how he massacred our boy!  We also get mentally scared by the image of Thor in tight leather shorts.  

Like I said, this is the high point of the book.  It's all downhill from here.

We're off to Midgard, where Amir is being fitted for some new pants.  Ah, but these aren't ordinary pants.  They're magic pants that will squeeze him to death, for they are made from the skin of his ancestors.  Seriously, this guy got his own story?  Annabeth has yet to get a first-person narration, but this guy gets a story?  It was a dreadfully dull story, and the narration certainly didn't help.  Besides being dull, the narrator had a deep voice, which made it even creepier than Amir mentions that's he's going to marry his cousin Sam.  As if that wasn't disturbing in and of itself!  

Next we head to Nidavellir, where Blitz is on the run.  You see, he's run afoul of Alviss, the dwarf of tried to marry one of Thor's daughters.  There really isn't much to this one.  It's just Blitz trying to evade Alviss' goons, and then stopping them with that portable sun thing he built for Hearth.  I found the narrator's voice was a bit too deep for Blitz.  Anyway, moving on. 

We then move to Alfheim, where Hearth is returning to his family's former estate to deal with a troublesome troll.  Okay, this story was just plain surreal.  The narrator actually sounded pretty close to how I imagine Hearth sounding, but the fact that Hearth is deaf makes the whole thing downright bizarre.  It's gets even worse when you remember that's Hearth is also mute, and if you listen to the audiobook, you run the risk of losing your sanity.

So, we're treated to another glorified action scene, and are left with a feeling of incompleteness.  Get use to it, gang, it only gets worse from here.  Granted, I am glad that Hearth reunites with Inge, and there are hints of a budding romance between the two of them.  Still, this story was seriously lacking in substance. 

Next we head to Jotunheim.  Sam has been tasked by Odin to retrieve an egg that will hatch into a rooster that will signal the beginning of Ragnarok.  Well, Sam made it throughout this story without mentioning that she's a Muslim every twelve seconds, beyond one mention of hijab.  I guess you have to be thankful for the small things.  Then again, this story was yet another glorified action scene.  The narrator sounded a bit too old, as with most of the other narrators.  Moving right along.  

We're off to Helheim, where TJ is roped into doing Hel's dirty work.  Oh great, more demonization of Hel so that Riordan can have villain not named Loki.  Damn it Rick, you know better than to warp the mythology!  Well, we do get to see Balder, which was kind of interesting.  I wondered if he was going to eventually show up.  Of course, this story is so short we hardly get to appreciate that.  I've said that the narrators were miscast, and boy does it show here.  The narrator does not sound remotely like a teenage.  He sounds like a grown-ass man!  To make matters even worse, TJ describes his deceased mother in almost sexual terms, which the narrator makes sound downright creepy.  As though there wasn't enough incest in this series as it was. 

Moving right along, Malory has unexpectedly found herself in the land of Niflheim.  Worse she's facing Nidhogg, the dragon who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil.  She's going to have to teach him some new insult to hurl at Ratatosk. 

Rick Riordan has always prided himself on being a relatively family-friendly writer.  There's certainly nothing wrong with that, I don't think it hurts the books, for the most part.  Unfortunately, that family-friendly image came to bite him in the ass here.  He couldn't have Malory say anything too edgy, so she winds up teaching Nidhogg the sort of things you might hear on an elementary school playground.  Really?  That's the best you got?  It just seems odd that Nidhogg wouldn't have heard those along time ago.  Also, wow, the narrator has to have one of the worse Irish accents I've ever heard.  Next!

The penultimate story follows Halfborn as he good looking for Malory.  He takes a wrong door and winds up in Vanaheim.  Not that the narrators has been all that good, but the one for this story was especially bad.  You'd expect Halfborn's narrator to be deep and husky, or boisterous.  Not the case here.  When I listen to the narration, I envision a dude wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt at some tech start-up.  In other words, not a dude who grew-up during the Viking Age!  There's a scene where Halfborn makes fun of the residents of Folkvangr for being peaceful.  Wow, when did Halfborn become such an asshole?  He's been accidentally insensitive, but never outright a dick.  

Our final story follows Alex and Jack as they are sent on a secret mission to Muspelheim.  This story was longer than the others, and almost felt like an actual complete story.  Almost, but not quite.  Well, in other small things to be thankful for, Alex wasn't too annoying, and the narrator almost wasn't half-bad.  Almost because she gave Jack an annoying Mexican accent.  Jack is not Mexican!  He's like those white people who throw random Spanish words into their sentences to sound cool.  

Now, remember when I said that Surt would have made a better villain than Loki?  Remember how I said that it would have been more interesting if he'd tried to rally the minor gods like Kronos did?  Guess who the villain of the story is?  Better yet, guess what his evil scheme is?  Riordan knew, he frinkin knew man!  He knew, and yet he chose otherwise, because clearly he wasn't interested in making Magnus Chase the best it could be.  I was very tempted to scream with frustration when I read this story.  There's a brief epilogue scene where Thor discovers that he forgot to turn on his Fitbit. 

Now let's take a look at the cover.  We see Yggdrasil floating in the cosmos with the nine worlds tucked in its branches.  Well, it has a nice cover, that's one thing I'm willing to give to this book. 

And with that we've covered 9 From the Nine Worlds.  It was just as awful as I expected.  The narrators were miscast, the stories too short for their own good, and I get the feeling that Riordan bit off more than he could chew.  With that, our look back at Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard has concluded. 

Now, we would be returning to The Trials of Apollo next, but I think we need something to wash out the taste 9 From the Nine Worlds left in my mouth.  I bit the bullet and bought the Demigods and Magicians audiobooks from iTunes, and I loved them.  So that's going to be our next port of call.   

Join me again next time when we take a look back at the Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles crossover extravaganza Demigods and Magicians.  I will see you guys next time.