The Alt-Hist File: Brave New Frontiersman

I’ve encountered a lot of very friendly and helpful people within the audio drama community. This has only increased since I have begun work on my own audio drama. So, with that in mind, I thought I’d give back to an audio drama that offered its help to me. And by give back, I mean write a review. We’re taking a look at Brave New Frontiersman. 

Brave New Frontiersman is set in an alternate version of 18th Century Colonial America. This version of North America is a land filled with magic and mythical creatures. You have creatures from the Old World, such as banshees and trolls, but also creatures from the New World, such as Sasquatch and Raven Mockers. Our hero is simply known as The Frontiersman. He travels across the frontier to aid those in need of help. He is joined by his old fur trapping companion Coyote. Along the way, they pick up a noble named Jame Byron, who has an aptitude for magic. Our three heroes will travel the frontier and encounter many strange creatures and strange magics.

I had known about Brave New Frontiersman for a while. Recently, however, I was contacted by the Brave New Frontiersman Twitter account. They had seen my casting call for my upcoming audio dram The Books of Thoth, and wanted to know if I needed people sent my way. I already cast the roles for the first three episodes, but I’ll certainly keep them in mind for future episodes. I also figured it would be nice if I gave them a review.

Now, normally I prefer an audio drama to have at least one complete season before I write a review. However, given that there tends to be a bit of a gap between episodes of Brave New Frontiersman, I am waving my usual requirement.

I’ve always found America to be a place with a look of potential to be a fantasy setting. I like to think that American folklore and history are just as rich and varied as the lore of any fantasy world. That our landscapes could rival any fantasy geography. I’m always happy to find more American-inspired fantasy. So, big point in Brave New Frontiersmen’s favor. Being set in the 18th Century, and dealing with the frontier, I was immediately reminded of the Leatherstocking Tales by James Fenimore Cooper. The most famous book in the series being The Last of the Mohicans.

The frontier has always had a special place in the mythology of America. I’m reminded of when Thomas Jefferson sent Lewis and Clark on their famous expedition. He asked them to bring back a wooly mammoth, as many people believed that mammoths still roamed the lands of the Louisiana Purchase. Well, obviously, they didn’t have much luck finding a live mammoth. However, they did find a fossilized mammoth tusk. Hmm, I wonder if there are mammoths in Brave New Frontiersman. None have appeared so far, but they could always pop-up later.

Point being, frontier has often been mythologized as a land of adventure and discovery. A land completely unknown, well, except for the numerous Indigenous tribes that were already living there. The point I’m trying to make is that Brave New Frontiersman taps into that mythologized notion of the frontier as “here be dragons” territory.

As previously mentioned, Brave New Frontiersman is alternate history. Obviously, there’s the magic and mythical creatures bit, but there’s other aspects as well. One episode begins with the characters reading a newspaper. From this, we learn that the Aztec Empire still fell to Spanish Conquest. However, it did so in the 18th Century, rather than the 16th Century, and rather recently in terms of when the story takes place. The Inca Empire remains independent, at least for the moment. Also, the mythical king Prester John is apparently real, and his kingdom has recently been discovered. 

We also learn that the Seven Years War, known to Americans as the French and Indian War, lasted twenty years in the world of Brave New Frontiersman. I guess it will be called the Twenty Years War instead. I do wonder what effect that will have on the American Revolution. We’re already getting hints of friction between the colonists and the British. It is mentioned that nobles have an affinity for magic, but what does that mean? Do nobles have a greater aptitude for magic? Or can anyone learn magic with enough time and practice, and nobles are just more likely to have better training? It is repeatedly mentioned that lead cancels out the effects of magic, so an anti-monarchist rebellion could still work.

Another interesting point is the depiction of religion. So far, we’ve only seen Catholic priests. Now, the first time was in a town populated by Irish settlers, so that was understandable. As for the second time, it made me wonder whether the Protestant Reformation still happened in the world of Brave New Frontiersman. Granted, settlements of English Catholics weren’t unheard of. Maryland was founded so that English Catholics would have somewhere to freely practice their religion. There is, eventually, mention of Martin Luther being viewed as a heretic by the Catholic Church. So, clearly there was a Reformation in this world. What the exact details were, however, remain to be seen. 

Now, let’s talk a bit about the voice acting. The first couple episodes were a bit rough at times. It was clear that the Brave New Frontiersman team hadn’t quite found their footing yet, and were still trying to figure out how the characters should sound. However, as the series progresses, the casts gets more of a handle on their characters, and the performances get stronger. I see more improvement with each new episode. I’ve also noticed that sometimes the sound levels will be a tad uneven. Again, this is improving, but it is important to make sure all the dialogue is equalized. That way, it helps create the illusion that everyone is together in the same place. Also, this is a minor point, the characters pronounce New Orleans as New Or-Leans. I’m from Louisiana, as many of you know, and we pronounce it as New Or-Lens. I realize this doesn’t make a lot of sense to people who aren’t from Louisiana. However, pronouncing it as Or-Leans is a goo way to mark yourself as someone who isn’t from Louisiana.

Let’s shift gears and talk about the bestiary. One episode had our heroes facing off against a dullahan, a type of headless horseman from Irish Folklore. It makes for a clever reference to “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving. In fact, one of the twists in the episodes has its roots in the twist of “Sleepy Hollow.” Very nice use of literary allusions. Another episode see the heroes deal with a Raven Mocker. It is a creature from Cherokee Mythology. They’re shapeshifting spirits who target the dead and dying, and eat their victims’ hearts to extend their own lives. They can only be seen by an experienced medicine man, and usually his presence will be enough to keep them at bay. I always enjoy when I get to learn about a new mythical creature.

There are only seven episodes of Brave New Frontiersman out so far. That means there’s still a lot of places for the story to go. Obviously, I’m very interested in the alternate history aspects of the setting. I’m also hoping that we’ll get to meet some Native Americans at some point. Native Americans aren’t very common in pop culture, which is a real shame. I did raise my eyebrow a bit when it was mentioned that all Indigenous spirits are vulnerable to tobacco. That felt like it was playing into the unfortunate trope where all Native American cultures are lumped together into a single category. Though, thankfully, the Raven Mocker was specifically identified as a creature from Cherokee Mythology. So, I have hope that Brave New Frontiersman will be able to handle Native Americans with tact.

I’m also hoping we learn a bit more about the backstories of the Frontiersman and Coyote. At the moment, we don’t know too much. Going by the cover art, the Frontiersman does look vaguely similar to Natty Bumppo, the protagonist of the Leatherstocking Tales. So, I wonder if he might have a similar backstory. The way Coyote talks kind of reminds me of Tonto from The Lone Ranger. Though, I don’t think Coyote is suppose to be Native American. On the other hand, the Coyote is a trickster spirit common to many Native American tribes. So, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

The keyword with Brave New Frontiersman is potential. There is a lot of potential in the characters and the setting. We’ve got seven episodes so far, and I feel a clear sense of improvement and progress as the episodes go on. I feel confident that Brave New Frontiersman will be able to keep up the momentum, and spread its wings even further in the future. And I certainly can’t wait to see where the adventure takes us next.

So, there you have it. Brave New Frontiersman is an audio drama set upon the frontier of an 18th Century America filled with magic and mythical creatures. Only seven episodes out so far, but it improves with every episode, and has a lot of potential.

Well, I think that should do it from me for now. I will see you guys next time.

Flag of the Federation of Patagonia

This is the flag of the Federation of Patagonia. It comes from a world where Britain conquered Argentina and Uruguay in the early 19th Century. Patagonia is a highly developed nation, and is often referred to as the Canada of the Southern Hemisphere. Patagonia also includes part of southern Chile. Chile has never forgiven Patagonia for annexing this land. Though, this occurred during the days of direct British rule. The Falkland Islands are considered indisputably Patagonian territory. 

Like Canada, Patagonia is the result of the bending of two European peoples. In this case, British and Spanish. However, also like Canada, said people have historically had their tensions.

Northern Patagonia has historically been the heart of Hispanic culture. Meanwhile, Southern Patagonia has historically been majority Anglo. The name Patagonia used to refer to the region that became the southern provinces, but grew to refer to the nation as a whole. The ruling Anglos felt that Argentina and Plata were too Spanish for their taste. Hispanic Patagonians were pushed further and further north for much of the 19th Century. In fact, Buenos Aires and Montevideo used to be majority English-speaking cities. Though, Spanish speakers still accounted for a healthy forty percent of Buenos Aires and Montevideo’s population. Patagonia also experienced far less Italian immigration than Argentina did in our world. Catholic Italians weren’t eager to move to a colony of Protestant Britain. Subsequently, Patagonian Spanish has much less Italian influence than Argentina Spanish of our world. The northern provinces, initially, tended to be poorer than their southern counterparts.

Things would begin to shift starting in the 20th Century. Industry began to invest in the northern provinces of Patagonia. The influx of industry lead to an increase in wealth among Hispanic Patagonians. Several baby booms occurred during this time, ensuring that Hispanic culture would survive in Patagonia. Hispanic Patagonians made major political gains in the Patagonian parliament. Bilingualism became official government policy starting in the 1950s. Packaging is required to be printed in both English and Spanish, signs are printed in both languages, and all government documents are printed in both of the official languages. There are also numerous Spanish-language schools and universities, though most are located in the Hispanic-majority northern provinces.

Patagonia remains culturally divided among geographic lines. However, tensions have relaxed between Anglo Patagonians and Hispanic Patagonians. Patagonia is also home to immigrants from throughout the world, and prides itself on being a refuge for those seeking better lives. Patagonia has a friendly rivalry with Canada. Canada is referred to by Patagonians, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, as the Patagonia of the Northern Hemisphere.

The flag was officially adopted in the 1970s. Prior to that, Patagonia used a British Red Ensign. Care had to be taken, when designing the new flag, not to favor Anglos or Hispanics. The colors evoke the landscape of Patagonia. The white represents the snow-capped mountains, while the ice blue represents the glaciers. The shape is meant to evoke the textile work of Indigenous Patagonians. The three guanacos were chosen as a symbol beloved by Patagonians of all cultures. In fact, the guanaco is the official mammal of Patagonia.

The Audio File: The TEMP: Season 2

Welcome back to my review of The TEMP. We’re taking a look a season two this time. If you haven’t already checked out my review of season one, you can find it over here. With that out of the way, let’s get into season two.

Just a quick recap, The TEMP follows a man named Bernie Pfelger. He's a temporary worker, a temp if you will. He has worked many strange jobs, with many strange employers. We are joining him on all the wacky misadventures in his quest to find permanent employment. I realize that isn't much of a summary, but I promise that this is a good show. I was approached by series creator Michael Wilhelm to review this audio drama. He noticed my frequent posting of reviews in the Audio Drama Lovers Facebook group. I said yes, after I took care of a couple other reviews, and now here we are.

Episode Nine is titled "Mother's Nature." Bernie is having deal with a real mean girl at his latest office job. Her name is Maxine and she's got it out for temps, and Bernie is her latest target. Will Bernie innocence and charm win her over, or are more drastic measure required?

We have some new things this season. For example, the formerly instrumental theme song now has lyrics. It's a fun little ditty, as you might expect. Also, Bernie and Penny's daughter Menorah finally makes an on-screen appearance, for lack of a better way of putting it. She's dropped out of college...because she's making a six-figure salary reviewing stuff on YouTube. Bernie was worried that it involved nudity, but his fears are misplaced. Now, if it had been Twitch or OnlyFans, well, then he might have had a more legitimate concern.

Clearly, Menorah isn't reviewing audio fiction. You don't make...well, actually, I don't make any money doing this. It is a labor of love. Of course, that's partially on me. I don't run ads on this blog, because you guys have enough ads in your life, and I probably wouldn’t make much anyway. I don't have a Patreon, because I don't know what to give as rewards, and there are tons of audio dramas that deserve your money more than I do. I also take my reviews pro bono. I will never charge to review someone's show. Audio drama is expense enough as it is, and charging for reviews would be exploitative. Like I said, labor of love. But enough about me, back to the show.

So, Menorah is doing pretty well for herself. Though, I do understand Bernie's concern about her dropping out of college. I mean, imagine if her YouTube career fizzles out. She'd be wandering around aimlessly from temporary job to temporary job. Oh, everything would be fine for a bit, but then she'd inevitably get fired and have to find a new job. But what would Bernie possibly know about that?

Good thing The TEMP is a comedy. Bernie is a middle-aged white man being tormented by a young white woman. That sort of set-up, especially in the post-MeToo world, would not have ended well in a more serious show. Bernie would be at a serious disadvantage. Well, that and Bernie would have gotten into trouble for the scene where he wears a baseball cap backwards and goes "yo, yo, yo." In real life, somebody probably would have complained that he was being racist.

Still, I guess one of the upsides of Bernie constantly getting fired is that, no matter how terrible his job, it's only temporary. It's like Avenue Q says, everything in Bernie's life is only for now. Well, except for death and paying taxes, but hopefully he won't die anytime soon.

Episode Ten is called “Gumshoe.” Bernie gets a job working at the Marge in Charge Detective Agency. Despite the name, it’s actually Marge’s husband who is the head detective. Well, he’s kind of an idiot, and she does most of the work. But still, he’s still head detective on paper. Bernie mostly just holds down the fort while the detectives are away, but hey, he’s living his detective dream. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, there was a bit of unintentional bit of synergy in my life with this episode. I listened to it not long after beating all of the detective endings on Kyle is Famous. It is a Choose Your Own Adventure type game where you are a talk show host preparing for his latest episode. Well, that’s the basic plot. There are over 117 possible endings, and things can quickly go off the rails, and into complete insanity. You can become a ghost, time travel, or even show up to the interview totally naked. You can also have Kyle change jobs, one of which is being a detective. You’ll probably need a guide sooner or later, but it is worth it to experience Kyle is Famous in all its insane glory.

Anyway, back to The TEMP. Bernie mentions that it has been his lifelong dream to drive around in a van and solve mysteries. Does he also plan on adopting a Great Dane as part of this plan? Bernie, I really can’t sugarcoat this, so I’m going to give it to your straight: you’re simply too old to be a meddling kid. Also, I’m pretty sure meddling kids don’t get paid, and you can’t afford to be working pro bono. But hey, even if Bernie is too old to live out his Scooby-Doo fantasies, he’s still the right age to give us plenty of laughs and entertainment. I also realize that I’ve heard the theme music on certain commercials before, but nothing wrong with that. Audio drama is expensive, and royalty-free stock music is a good way to save on cost, while also utilizing a quality product.

This was, all things considered, another reasonably good episode.

Episode Eleven is “Meme, Myself, and I.” Bernie becomes a meme after accidentally eating some insanely spicy potato chips, and washing them down with copious amounts of milk. Bernie is suddenly inundated with job offers and opportunities. It’s almost too good to be true, but how long will it last?

This is another episode that shakes things up. Bernie gets fired halfway through the episode, but that’s when the real fun starts. We also see a different side of Menorah. When she first appeared, she seemed fairly sweet and kindhearted. Come this episode, I’m tempted to believe that Menorah is slightly evil. She’s the one who tricked Bernie into eating the spicy chips, and knew he’d make a fool of himself with the milk. I also appreciated the brief nod to Penny getting stuck in the mascot costume in episode two. Also, milk is indeed useful in combating spicy food. Water spreads the oils within chilis around your mouth, but milk bonds with the oils, and draws them away.

So, about the meme itself. The TEMP prides itself on being a family-friendly comedy audio drama. A bring this up because, in real life, I can see the memes getting very perverted very quickly. Given what milk looks like, it wouldn’t take long for places like 4chan, and the seedier parts of Reddit and Twitter, to take the meme in some very family-unfriendly directions.

I figured that Bernie’s meme would die fairly quickly. That’s just how it tends to go with the lifecycle of memes. Still, didn’t see him becoming a creepypasta. Well, it’s called Spooky Noodles, but it’s pretty clearly meant to be a parody of creepypastas. For those who don’t know, creepypastas are horror stories that are posted on the Internet. Bernie is reimagined as the Milky Man, which sounds vaguely similar to Slender Man. Maybe the company didn’t want to risk a repeat of the Slender Man Stabbings. Back in 2014, two girls attempted to murder their friend because they believed Slender Man want them to become his avatars. Before anyone clutches their pearls, I would point out the girls were determined to be suffering from mental illness, and were later committed to a psychiatric institute. Also, the creepypasta community held a fundraiser to raise money for the victim of the stabbings.

So, we’ve got another episode that decides to mix thing up, and I’m definitely here for it.

Episode Twelve is “Royal Flush.” Bernie decides that he’s stuck in a rut, and decides to shake things up. By that, I mean he tries out a different temp agency. He lands a pretty sweet position as a bathroom attendant at a very prestigious country club. The tips alone bring in quite a bit of money. It’s like a dream come true. But things rarely stay stable for long with Bernie.

There are indeed fancy places that have bathroom attendants. Said attendants offer visitors a variety of soaps, towels, cologne, and amenities. I suppose it seems kind of nice, but public restrooms always make me feel rather nervous, especially when there’s a lot of people in them.

Bernie is told that he cannot use the restroom himself. Employees have their own bathroom in the basement. It seemed like that was setting things up. I assumed Bernie would eat something that would disagree with him, and he would have no choice but to use the fancy toilets. That, or he’d try to hold it, but would wind up soiling himself. However, it seems that this was a red herring.

He does, however, find himself in the middle of a class war. Several of the other employees decide to revolt against the country club, and barricade the fancy bathroom. I guess you could say they were planning a shit-in. The leader speaks with a noticeable lisp, and he reminded me of Barry Kripke from The Big Bang Theory. He’s the one who says stuff like “Hewwo, Swelldon Cwoopa. It is me, Barwwie Kwipke.”

Well, Bernie learned a valuable lesson from all of this. If an offer seems too good to be true, chances are, it’s probably a load of shit.

Episode Thirteen is “Chemical Reaction.” He has been assigned to work at a toy factory. Bernie feels like he’s just gotten hired by Willy Wonka, and in a way he’s correct. That is, he’s not working in an office, but on the ground floor of the factory. So, he’s basically an Oompa Loompa. The toys are made using several highly toxic chemicals, and the factory is a very unsafe place in general. But hey, what’s the worst that could happen?

The episode description described the toy factory as progressive. I assumed this might mean that the episode would be poking fun at political correctness. This would be odd, as The TEMP is usually fairly apolitical. But this was not the case. The factory is a decidedly unsafe place to work, with numerous OSHA violations. I’d probably be just as nervous as Bernie was, if not more so. But hey, Bernie’s probably already been exposed to all sorts of horrible chemicals. Depending on how old Bernie is, his body is probably full of lead. It was used all the time in gasoline and paint back in the day. It’s just like how everyone in my generation are probably full of microplastics.

Usually, The TEMP is pretty episodic. However, this episode adds a bit of continuity. Bernie and his temp agent are still dealing with the consequences of the previous episode. In fact, Bernie thinks his agent set him up as revenge for going to a different temp agency. Oh, and in other Wonka references, Bernie calls his agent a Vermicious Knid. I guess we’ll have to see if this plot thread continues in future episodes.

So, Bernie has saved the day and stop a toxic factory. Well, there’s a decent chance the factory owners will regroup and move production somewhere else. Presumably, somewhere with fewer safety regulations, such as China or India. But hey, Bernie should count his wins no matter their size

Episode Fourteen is “Class Trip.” Bernie enrolls in a class that promises to help land him a permanent job. Bernie feels like he’s a kid in school again. The class covers things like rhymes, hopscotch, proper siting, and being efficient. Is this really going to help him be better? Does Bernie even need to be fixed?

This episode was deceptive. Well, to me it felt like it was. I have had many nightmares about having to repeat college and/or high school. I mean, overall I did enjoy my time in college, but I am glad to have finally put my formal education behind me. I’m still not entirely convinced that the teacher of the class wasn’t a cult leader. She takes away everyone’s cellphones, thereby limiting their contact with the outside world, constantly tries to shame and gaslight everyone, tries to get everyone to tie their self-worth to her approval, and she claims her method is the path to salvation. Sounds like a cult leader to me. When the teacher offers everyone juice boxes my first thought was “No, Bernie! Don’t drink the Kool-Aid!”

Speaking of our main man, we learn that he likes to watch the movie The Towering Inferno whenever he’s feeling down. Apparently, the sight of a skyscraper full of people burning to death calms him down. Well, now we know why Bernie has never been able to hold down a job. His agent did give him bad jobs, but with good reason. If Bernie stay in one place for too long, he might get bored, and give into his pyromaniac tendencies. Wait, a minute, Bernie is pretty heavily based upon Michael Wilhelm. Uh, will you please excuse me, I need to call the Fort Wayne, Indiana Police Department. That was a joke, just in case it wasn’t obvious.

This episode is probably the closest that The TEMP will come to a horror episode. I like the part where Bernie lists all of his accomplishments over the course of the series. It will be interesting to see where he goes from here.

Episode Fifteen and Episode Sixteen are a two-part episode. The first half is “Lost & Alone” and the second half is “Lost In Space.” Bernie Pfelger is missing! Well, not really. He’s actually been brought in for questioning by some government agents. But hey, Penny and Menorah don’t know that. They’re determined to find Bernie no matter what it takes. Meanwhile, Bernie recounts his latest misadventure. He got hired as the personal assistant to a very eccentric genius at a rocket company. Bernie’s new boss had some truly out of this world ideas. Like wanting to launch himself into orbit to defend the Earth from aliens.

This was a lot of firsts for The TEMP. We had our first two-part episode. We also got to see Penny and Menorah take the lead for a good chunk of the first half. That was a fun change of pace. It was interesting to witness Bernie’s escapades from the perspective of someone other than Bernie himself. I initially wondered if Bernie’s new boss was going to be a parody of Elon Musk. However, this was not the case. He was more of a generic mad scientist type.

I also liked how there were some real space facts slipped in with the comedy. For example, seven miles-per-second is indeed the escape velocity for launching into Earth orbit. Also, Earth orbit is indeed filled with all sorts of junk and debris. This is a major problem, and is known as Kessler Syndrome. Basically, the more debris in orbit, the more likely collisions are; and the more likely those collisions set off the chain reaction of collisions. I also liked the bit with the radio transmissions coming from all around the world.

This two-part episode certainly didn’t crash on the launch pad. It was truly out of this world, and a fitting note to end season two on. 

We had a great first season of The Temp. Our second season not only continues this quality, but manages to shake things up and try new things. I’m very much looking forward to season three. Especially because I acted as a consultant for one of the episodes. But, uh, more on that when season three gets here. 

Well, I think that should do it from me for now. I will see you guys next time.