Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Flag of the Kingdom of Leon

This is the flag of the Kingdom of Leon.  It comes from a world where the Reconquista failed and most of Spain remained under Islamic rule.  For many years Leon was forced to pay protection money to Al-Andalus.  However, after a while they were able to appeal to their powerful Christian neighbors for support.  For many years, the boarder of Western Europe was considered to stop at the Pyrenees Mountains.  The Iberian Peninsula was lumped in with the rest of the Islamic World.  This somewhat miffed Leon, as they were often lumped in with the rest of Iberia, when anyone remembered that they existed, that is.   

The discovery of the Americas was delayed by a few decades, but it still happened.  Albeit, it was by the English-funded John Cabot, rather than Christopher Columbus.  The colonization of the New World occurred rather differently than in our world.  For example, Al-Andalus colonized Mexico.  This resulted in a new form of Islam that combined Sunni Islam with tradition Aztec beliefs.  The native converts proved particularly zealous, and more than willing to wage jihad upon their neighbors.  Meanwhile, England colonized Brazil and France proved more successful in its colonization of Canada, among other developments. 

Leon got into the colonization game as well, though a bit later than the other powers.  Their first successful colony was Nova Asturias, located in what would have been the Southeastern United States.  Nova Asturias became a major producer of tobacco, cotton, lumber and other raw materials.  This allowed Leon to slowly build up its economy, rather than blowing through a bunch of money like Al-Andalus' did.  Leon also established colonies in Patagonia, Southern Africa, and even a few islands of Indonesia.  

What Leon lacks in sizes it makes up for in economic prowess.  Recently, despite years of resentment and conflict, relations with Al-Andalus have begun to improve considerably.  Leon is a nation that truly lives up its motto Sub Umbra Floreo, which is Latin for "I Prosper in the Shade".  This is a reference to Leon's historical existence in the shadow of Al-Andalus.

The flag is a simple crimson background with a golden and bejeweled Asturias Cross in the center. 



Sunday, August 26, 2018

Fan Art and Commissions #5

It's been a while since I've done one of these fan art and commission hauls.  Let's do something about that, shall we?

First up we have this piece by the artist Pelycosaur24.  Inspired by the excellent Neil Gaiman comic Marvel 1602, I wanted to see what Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase would look like if they lived in the early 17th Century.  Thus we have Percy and Annabeth 1604.


It is always a pleasure to get to work with one of my favorite artists, and this piece was worth every penny.  I had them be Spanish because the Heart of the West always goes to whoever is the most powerful Western nation at a given time.  In 1604 that was arguably still Spain.  Annabeth's outfit incorporates elements from the Kamfrau and Trossfrau of Austria, because they were women who accompanied men onto the battlefield.  That was a suggestion from Pely, who is Austrian herself.  I especially love how the outfits evoke their present day clothes, while still being true to the fashions of the 17th Century.


This next one is inspired by that crossover fanfic I wrote combing Percy Jackson and the Olympians with DJ MacHale's Pendragon.  Well, those might have been the base two, but there are other territories and sub-territories in Halla.  Thus we have Pyrrha Nikos from RWBY and Mizore Shirayuki from Rosario+Vampire, travelers from the territory of Remnant and the sub-territory of Yokai Academy, training with Loor on Zadaa.  I'm very happy to have gotten a quality work at a modest price.  As a bonus, I got Stardust-Phantom, the South African artists who made this piece, into RWBY.


Speaking of Stardust-Phantom, that brings us to our next piece.  A Crossover Christmas Carol.  Starring Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist as Ebenezer Scrooge, Weiss Schnee from RWBY as The Ghost of Christmas Past, Bolin from Legend of Korra as The Ghost of Christmas Present, Nico di Angelo from Percy Jackson as The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, and Grover Underwood from Percy Jackson as Charles Dickens. 


We're blowing a turkey for Stardust-Phantom.  This one's another one relating to that Percy Jackson/Pendragon crossover.  Here we have Silena Beauregard giving Aja Killian some pegasus riding lessons and explaining a bit about the history of Camp Half-Blood.  Aja is less than thrilled at all of the potentially dangerous stuff that goes on at Camp Half-Blood.  



This one is another crossover clothes swap brought to us by BiCOV.  There was no plot to this one, I just wanted to see how they'd look in each other's clothes.  We've got Annabeth from Percy Jackson swapping with Kurumu from Rosario+Vampire, and Reyna from Heroes of Olympus swapping with Ahsoka from Star Wars: The Clone Wars.  Another quality piece at a bargain price.


Sometimes the fanfictions in my head take on a life of their own.  Case in point, this piece from SophiaBlackoodArt.  I don't exactly know how or why I started pairing Reyna and Ahsoka together, it's just one of those things that kind of just happened.  Well, in the Heroes of Olympus it was said that if Reyna found love it wouldn't be with a demigod, and Rick Riordan had considered making her lesbian.  Also, Ahsoka and Bariss certainly had there moments, as though the Clone Wars writers we're doing everything short of making them a couple.  Make of this what you will.


My inadvertent shipping of Reyna and Ahsoka proved so popular I actually got fan request to commission more art of them together.  That's where this piece from an Australian artist named makeupaname.  Here we have Reyna and Ahsoka celebrating Discovery of Puerto Rico Day, which is a real holiday by the way.  The invisible dude is Millard Nullings from Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.  The dude you can actually see is Nico di Angelo from Percy Jackson.  


Speaking of makeupaname, we're got another piece from her.  We've got Superman, one of the most iconic heroes of the 20th Century, along side Percy Jackson, a hero of the 21st Century.  Superman is passing the torch to a new generation of heroes.  Percy isn't sure that he's worthy, but Superman is assuring him that he will do fine, that Percy made him proud, and that he knows the world will be in good hands.  


This piece is another one from LadyLoriel.  The Doctor from Doctor Who has been captured by Cthulu.  So, Dream from Neil Gaiman's Sandman has assembled a team of heroes from across time and space to save him.  We've got Percy Jackson, Bobby Pendragon, Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, and Utena Tenjou from Revolutionary Girl Utena.  They're alert on the streets of an abandoned city as Dream watches over them.  


We'll finish off with another piece from LadyLoriel.  In this one, Inuyasha traveled to the present day to help the Silver Bullets fight crime, but was a bit too reckless with destruction of public property.  So a judge sentenced him to either time in jail or community service.  He opted for community service, which turned out to be volunteering at a summer camp.  So here he is with Skuld from Ah! My Goddess, Arnold from The Magic School Bus and SpongeBob SquarePants.  They're lost in the woods just as the sun is beginning to set.  SpongeBob doesn't seem to mind though.  

Well, I think that should do it for now.  Hopefully we'll be able to do this again soon.  Until then, I will see you guys next time. 




Friday, August 24, 2018

Riordan Retrospective: The Son of Neptune


Welcome once again to the Riordan Retrospective.  For those of you just joining the fun, this is my look back at the works of Rick Riordan.  That means we're taking a look at Percy Jackson, its sequel series and its spin-off series. This is less of a formal review, and more of a look back, along with my thoughts and observations.  Last time we returned to The Kane Chronicles for a look back at The Throne of Fire.  This time we're returning to The Heroes of Olympus.  We're taking a look back at The Son of Neptune, The Heroes of Olympus book 2. 


Percy Jackson is confused and on the run from monsters.  He can't remember why he's on the run, or much of anything for that matter, but thanks to the wolf goddess Lupa he's made it to a safe haven.  Oh, but this isn't Camp Half-Blood, this is Camp Jupiter: training camp for children and descendants of the Roman gods.  Percy barely has time to adjust to this brave new world when he soon finds himself on a quest with his fellow campers Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque.  The three of them must free Thanatos, the god of death.  To do this they must travel the west coast of North America to the Land Beyond the Gods: Alaska!

As per usual, there will be spoilers, so turn back now if you don't want any.  Okay, everyone who wants out gone?  Then let's begin.

The Son of Neptune always felt like a much better start to The Heroes of Olympus than The Lost Hero to me.  It almost feels as though it was written in response of the criticisms of The Lost Hero.  We're got Percy, a long established and beloved character, to act as our anchor as we are introduced to new characters and new settings.  Also, rather than wasting time on build up, we get straight to the point with all of the revelations and new information. 

One thing in particular that I like was that Percy still acted like the seaweed brain we all know and love even with his amnesia.  This is particularly note worth as it is in sharp contrast to Jason Grace, who appeared to have no personality.  Boy, was that ever foreshadowing about Jason's lack of personality.  On a side note, if you'll remember back to The Titan's Curse, one of the Ares campers was also named Jason.  Just a fun little tidbit I thought I'd point out. 

It was a bit disappointing that Percy lost his Curse of Achilles so early on, but I understand why it had to happen.  Well, you know, apart from the curse being Greek, so he had to lose it to go into Roman territory.  If Percy was, effectively, invincible it would be hard to maintain a sense of drama and tension.  Though, granted, he could always have been in danger from choking or poison.  In fact, he nearly gets killed in that bet with Phineas, but is smart enough to know that he's too important to Gaea for her to let him die.  That scene is also a prime example of how, though he might not be book smart, Percy is smart in other ways. 

After the build-up of The Lost Hero we finally get to see Camp Jupiter and New Rome, and they are glorious.  We've gotten a few hints of Roman Mythology, a few gods like Janus here and there, but this is the first time it's front and center to the plot.  In edition to the mythology we also get a good dose of Roman History.  One of the things that always kind of disappointed me a bit about Camp Half-Blood was that it didn't really do much with the history and culture of Ancient Greece.  New Rome also gives us an answer to the question of what happens after camp, at least for Roman demigods.  After they serve their time in the legion they get to retire to New Rome and do whatever they want, and they don't have to fear any monster attacks.

Unsurprisingly, New Rome appeals to Percy, but I think there's an even deeper level to that.  We learn that Neptune, Poseidon's Roman counterpart, is considered a fairly unimportant god by the people of New Rome and Camp Jupiter.  At Camp Half-Blood he's a living legend and many of the other campers hold him on a pedestal.  At Camp Jupiter he has a chance to be just another face in the crowd.  The fact the Camp Jupiter is decided into cohorts, rather than cabins, probably appeals to him as well.  It might be nice to have Poseidon Cabin all to himself for privacy, but it probably gets lonely in there at times. 

We also get an answer to the question of, what happens when demigods have kids, in the form of legacies.  Legacies apparently get powers too, but those powers get weaker with each successive generation.  Octavian is described as looking like a faded copy of an Apollo kid.  We only ever see Roman legacies, but Greek demigods don't have an equivalent of New Rome, so the implication is that most of them get killed before they can have kids.  Well, that's actually not quite accurate, but more on that in just a minute.  You get a tattoo based on your godly parent and/or ancestor when joining Camp Jupiter.  Do legacies get combo tattoos?  That could lead to some pretty complex tattoos.  If I did have one minor quibble it would be that legacies didn't really factor much into the plot of the series, baring a few notable exceptions, as demigods did.

Now let's talk about the characters.  I really loved Reyna.  She was stoical, a strong leader and overall a woman in control.  Yet beneath it all she has her own doubts and insecurities.  I'm very happy that she got to play an even bigger role in the later books.  Some people have noted that she and Annabeth has some similarities, but I think she different enough to be interesting.  For example, Annabeth is very fiery and outspoken, but Reyna is more reserved and introspective.  She's also very Roman, given that her mother is Bellona.  Technically, Bellona's Greek equivalent is Enyo, but they are as different as night and day.  Enyo was, essentially, the female version of Ares.  Bellona, by contrast, was a much more honorable and noble goddess, not all that dissimilar to how Mars contrasts with Ares. 

Now let's talk about Hazel.  Like Nico and Bianca she's from the 1940s, but unlike them she actually remembers what it was like back then.  She spends most of her time at Camp Jupiter, so culture shock doesn't come up that much, which I'd say was a bit of a wasted opportunity.  She's a child of Pluto, but her powers are more oriented towards gems and precious metals, rather than the dead.  It does make a certain amount of sense; Hades/Pluto was the god of wealth, especially with regards to the riches beneath the Earth, in addition to being the god of the dead.  

Still, ever since Hazel showed up Nico definitely started to specialize in death powers, while ignoring his earth-related powers.  Also, apparently Bianca opted for reincarnation, so there goes any hope of her and Nico being reunited, even if only temporarily.  Well, at least Nico's still got Hazel, if nothing else.  Something I found interesting is that Hades/Pluto is the only god of the Big Three to not break the promise to not have any more kids.  Going back to the myths, Hades was the most faithful of the Big Three; he only cheated on Persephone twice, and both times ended badly for the women he got involved with.  I like to think he said faithful because Persephone scared him so much those two times. 

With Frank Zhang with get our first major character from outside the United States.  Well, technically Sadie Kane spent most of her life in Britain, but she was born in America.  Frank, by contrast was born and spent most of his life in Canada.  I liked how it was explained that he had Greek and Roman ancestry despite being Chinese.  He's descended from Romans who were capture by Parthians, who were in-tern captured by the Chinese and taken to China.  Riordan clearly put some thought into that, and I tip my hat to that.  I loved Frank's interactions with Mars, and how it really showed just how different Mars is from Ares.  Mars is a kind and honorable god, as well as a loving father; by contrast, Ares is a bully who's relationship with his children is...rocky at the best of times.

Mars also gives us a brief candid look into the life of the gods.  He says he somewhat envies humans because their lives are finite.  Personally, I've always been of the option that immortality would be pretty great; you'd get to see all your long-term projects to the end, wouldn't have to fear death, ect.  However, Mars does raise the point that you'd also have to watch your loved ones get old and die.  Humans must seem like mayflies to the gods.  I've touched on this before, but maybe that's part of why the gods tend to ignore their children and mortal lovers.  Not getting too attached makes it easier when they enviably die.  On a lighter note, Mars also provides one of the funniest prophecies, because of just how direct it is.

I found Octavian to be entertaining just because of how shamelessly evil he was.  He was just so bombastic and over the top; subtly clearly isn't his style.  He certainly inherited his great-grandfather's flair for the dramatic.  Speaking of which, the fact that he's a legacy of Apollo makes his hatred of Greeks all the more ironic.  Apollo was one of the most quintessentially Greek gods, he even has the same name in both Greek and Roman Mythology.  

All in all, I found the Camp Jupiter characters to be a welcome addition to the Riordanverse, and I welcomed them with open arms.  

We also get some insight into demigod history.  Apparently, the American Civil War was a fight between the demigods; the Greeks fought for the North and the Romans fought for the South.  It's explained that Greek and Roman demigods have been at each other's throats ever since the Trojan War.  The Romans believed themselves to be descended from Trojan refugees, and in the Riordanverse, they really were.  The American Civil War killed so many demigods that the gods decided to keep them separate and ignorant to each other existence.  In real life, the American Civil War killed two percent of America's overall population, and is one of the deadliest wars America has ever fought; only the American Revolution rivals it in total body-count.  The Greeks are always in the East, and the Romans are always in the West, because of the way the Roman Empire was split; with Byzantium/Constantinople as the eastern capital and Rome as the western capital. 

We'd gotten hints of this before, it was mentioned in the original series that most of the Union generals were demigods, and so was Harriet Tubman.  However, it is also stated that the gods came to America in 1860, which makes no sense.  At the point in history the British Empire was at the height of its power and influence.  That means the Heart of the West should have still been in Britain.  It would have made more sense for it to come to America after World War II, or after World War I at earliest; in both of those cases, America was becoming a rising star and major power on the world stage.  

While we're on the subject of historical discrepancies, our trio of heroes discover that New Rome's navy is a single rickety dingy.  Hazel and Frank didn't even know New Rome had a navy.  It is explain that this is because the Ancient Romans didn't put much stock in naval power.  This is a gross oversimplification.  It is certainly true that the Romans didn't trust any water that their horses couldn't drink from, and their ships tended to be coast-huggers.  However, they were by no means slouches in regards to sea power.  During the Punic Wars, Rome defeated Carthage, the top naval power of the time, by reverse-engineering Carthaginian ships they captured.  

These are only a few issues, overall the information about Roman History is perfectly solid.  Moving along, we also get an answer to a question I've pondered for quite some time: what if an Iris Message was sent to something doing something where they would want to be seen?  Turns out it goes through all the same, as Frank found out when he sent one to Reyna while she was taking a bath.  We also finally get an on-screen appearance by Iris, and she's a hippie.  Well, rainbows are often associated with hippies.  She's also debating is she ought to convert to Buddhism or Taoism.  Amusingly enough, Buddhism teaches that it is perfectly possible to be both a god and a Buddhist, since even the gods are subject to the cycle of rebirth.  

Speaking of gods, I loved pretty much every scene Terminus was in.  As our heroes travel they get assistance from a couple of adult demigods and legacies who live outside of New Rome.  None of them are name nor do they having speaking role, and that's a shame.  It would have been interesting to see the perspective of an older demigod or legacy, and to hear their words of advice to our heroes.  As another side note, Amazon.com being run by actual Amazons was kind of obvious, but I loved it nonetheless, especially the scenes with Kinzie. 

I'd also like to take a moment to plug the audiobook version of this book. 

Now let's analyze the cover.  The cover depicts the climactic scene in Alaska. Percy triumphantly arises from the water carrying the lost standard of the Twelfth Legion.  If you'll note, you can see him wearing a purple Camp Jupiter t-shirt.  Up on the cliffs we can see the builds of Alcyoneus.  

All in all, The Son of Neptune was a much better start to The Heroes of Olympus than The Lost Hero, and I loved every minute of it.  We're going to be doing something a little different next time, because we're taking a look at another collection of short stories.  Join me next time when we take a look back at The Demigod Diaries.  I will see you all then.  


Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Alt-Hist File: The Drabblecast


Things are going to get a little weird in this installment of The Alt-Hist File.  Today we'll be talking about The Drabblecast. The Drabblecast brings strange stories, by strange authors, to strange listeners such as you and me. What that means is that The Drabblecast runs stories from a wide variety of genres and tones; their mission statement is that they never want there to be such a thing as a standard Drabblecast story. Of course, for our purposes we'll be focusing on alternate history and related stories.

The Drabblecast launched in 2007 by Norm Sherman, Kendall Marchman and Luke Coddington. Since those early days the crew has grown to include Nicky Drayden, Bo Kaier, Nathaniel Lee. Charity Helton and Tom Baker. You might remember Norm and Nathaniel from the post about Escape Pod, as well as Nathaniel's stories from PodCastle and Pseudopod. Though not a member of the Escape Artists podcasts, the connections between the crews certainly give The Drabblecast that feel. I often think of it as a weird cousin to the Escape Artists podcasts.

The Drabblecast has all sorts of celebrations. There's the annual Nigerian Scam Spam contest, HP Lovecraft Month, Women and Aliens Month that celebrates women writers of science fiction, and much more. Besides the main story each episode features a 100 word Drabble and a 100 character Twabble. Earlier episodes didn't include the original text of the stories, but later episodes usually do.

I know I often make a point of encouraging donations to the featured podcasts, and that's always good, but there are perks when you donate to The Drabblecast. For a ten dollars a month subscription you get access to exclusive members only stories and for a one time donation of fifty dollars or more, Norm will write and produce a song for you about whatever you want. In fact, Norm has recently released a collection of these songs on iTunes in addition to an album of his original songs. If you like your music in physical form you can purchase it from the Drabblecast website.

The way that music is integrated into the stories, and the awesome episode cover art, are some of those touches that really makes The Drabblecast standout from the crowd. Anyway, enough with the intro, let's move onto the stories...

"Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs" by Leonard Richardson
A Full Cast Production
Originally Published in Strange Horizons

This story takes place in a world where the dinosaurs evolved sentience and evacuated to Mars before the K-T asteroid struck Earth. Millions of years later the dinosaurs sent expeditions to Earth and discovered that humans had become the new dominate species. By the present many dinosaurs, such as our protagonists, come to Earth to participate in extreme sports competitions.

Now, from a scientific point of view, there's about a million different things that are implausible about this story. However, none of that takes away from how fun this story is. Dinosaurs and space exploration are two of my favorite topics, so naturally this story had me even before it started. Full cast productions usually have an advantage over single narrator productions and this story was no exception. All of the narrators did an excellent job.

It's got talking dinosaur dirt bikers from Mars. Need I say more?

"joanierules.bloggermax.com" by Nick Mamatas
Narrated by Naomi Mercer
Originally Published in Rabid Transit #2

Our story is told as a series of blog posts by a young woman named Joanie. She's been living a pretty normal live, but then she got a vision from God. You see, in this world England won the Hundred Years War, and God wants Joanie to liberate France in the name of the Mother Church.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, this is basically a modern day retelling of the life of Joan of Arc. Overall I found this story to be very enjoyable. We don't see much of this world beyond what's mentioned in Joanie's blog posts, but judging by that it doesn't seem to be too different from our own world. It would have been nice to see how history could have diverged, but since the author was retelling the story of Joan of Arc in the modern day, I can understand the desire to keep things familiar.

I though that telling the story as a series of blog post was a nice twist on the short story format. I also thought that Naomi did a great job conveying the snarky and conflicted tone of the story. There's a constant debate throughout the story of whether Joanie is crazy or really on a mission from God. However, given the number of seeming impossible happenings, and perfectly timed coincidences, I'm inclined to go with the latter.

A modern day take on Joan of Arc that I happily recommend.

"Night of the Cooters" by Howard Waldrop 
Narrated by Norm Sherman 
Originally Published in Omni Magazine

I know what some of you are thinking, and no, this isn't a dirty story. Of course, it isn't a particularly good story either. Our story takes place in a small town in 19th century Texas. News reports have mentioned strange crafts from Mars landing in England, but now those same craft have come to Texas. However, the Martians are going to have to get through Sheriff Lindley and his men first.

On the surface this should have been a fun story, but as someone who has actually read War of the Worlds, this story was incredibly irritating on a number of levels. The biggest flaw was the Sheriff Lindley and his men were able to beat back the Martians through enthusiasm and gung-ho manliness, and that's before the Martians got exposed to Earth germ. That completely flies in the face of the War of the Worlds, where the whole point is that the Martians are superior to Earth's technology and can't be brought down by such means.

Moreover, I found Lindley to be such an insufferable meathead that his characterization almost came across as a parody at points. Like how, after the Martians are defeated, he orders their war machines destroyed mostly to spite the local college professors; because apparently real men don't need higher education. Mr. Waldrop has succeeded in turning one of the greatest critiques of 19th century colonialism into a brainless pulp adventure. That's not to say all pulp is bad, escapism has its place, but War of the Worlds is most certainly not that place.

Two thumbs down. Don't waste your time with this one.

"The Last Great Clown Hunt" by Chris Furst
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Weird Tales #352

In this story we have a world in which tribes of clowns fill the role of the Native Americans. We follow our narrator from his first meeting with the clowns all the way to the Battle of the Little Bigtop. Okay, this one's kind of weird, but hey, it's The Drabblecast.

To be perfectly honest I'm not entirely sure how this story made me feel. I mean, it's got silly sound effects and clowns and all, but it also deals with the clowns fighting for survival and has Norm's serious sounding narration. My main issue is that I wasn't sure if I was suppose to take it as satire, take it seriously or something in between. Though, I suppose the third options was what the author intended.

Having said that, I think, iffy tone aside, it was still a reasonably good and fun story. I laughed, I contemplated and I had fun. Like I said, Norm's narration and the Dances with Wolves-esque soundtrack really added to the experience. Maybe I was a little hard on the tone.

A little weird, but a lot of fun. I say give it a shot.

"Love in the Pneumatic Tube Era" by Jessica Grant
Narrated by Kate Baker
Originally Published in Darwin's Bastards: Astounding Tales From Tomorrow 

It's often said that Canada doesn't get nearly enough alternate history love. Fortunately, this story has you covered. It's set in Canada in a world were pneumatic tubes are the primary means of shipping and transportation. It follows two lovers as their romance grows even as the tubes make personal interaction less and less required. Then transportation becomes highly regulated, and the age of pneumatic tubes comes to an end. The two loves must brave the odds to reunite.

When I listened to this story I was very much reminded of E.M. Forster's classic short story "The Machine Stops". For those of you wondering, that's the same E.M. Forster who wrote A Passage to India and A Room with a View. In both stories it's easy to see the advances in technology as the logical conclusion to our culture that simultaneously connects and isolates us with its advancements.

Now, let's talk about narration. Kate Baker is the host and narrator of the Clarkesworld Magazine podcast, which has some great stories we will cover in a future edition of The Audio File. Kate's narration is always a little hit and miss for me, but here it works perfectly. Overall it was a really cute romance story of love finding a way.

A sweet little story with a slight Canadian touch. I say give it a try.

"Testimony Before an Emergency Cession of The Naval Cephalopod Command" by Seth Dickinson 
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original

This story takes place in a world where, during the 1980s, the United States Navy developed a specially trained team of giant squids to combat Soviet submarines. By the present day, however, there's trouble. Nemo, the top squid of the program, is undergoing an existential crisis as he begins to realize that he isn't the only thinking creature in his world.

The story is told as something of a one-sided conversation between one of the members of the squid program and a senator. I always enjoy story in that sort of format as a means of changing up the short story form ever now and again. I also liked how the story made it clear just how alien a squid's mind is compared to a human's. Prior to his existential crisis, Nemo views the world as a series of levers to be manipulated in order to achieve various goals.

As usual, Norm did an excellent job narrating. He always seems at his best when he has these one sided conversation sort of stories. Also, random fun squid fact: squids have doughnut shaped brains because their digestive track passes right through their brains. And now you know.

A meditation on squids and our perception of reality. Very much recommended.

"The Ugly Chickens" by Howard Waldrop 
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Universe 10

Yes, I am about to review another Howard Waldrop story, but this time it's a story I actually enjoyed. The story follows an ornithologist named Paul from University of Texas. I chance encounter with an old woman while riding a bus has sent him on his latest field study. He's out to see if the dodos might in fact have escaped extinction and he'll need all the leads he can find.

Every writer has at least one bad story and the whole of their work shouldn't be judged by that single story. I'm happy to say that this story fully restored my confidence in Mr. Waldrop. I liked how the story feel like the adventures of a real ornithologist doing research. This story also spoke to that hope that I think many of us have that maybe there's still some mysteries left to be explored; and that perhaps those creatures we think are extinct are still out there waiting to be rediscovered.

Now, let's talk about narration. I think you can guess that I thought Norm did a great job. If I did have a complaint it would be that one of the older characters referring to the Civil War as the War of Northern Aggression was a tad cringe worthy; still, I have known plenty of older Southerners who talk like that, so I'm willing to let that slide. Like I've said, it's a great story with a bittersweet ending.

For a great Howard Waldrop story, look no further.

"Babel Probe" by David D. Levine
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Darker Matter #1

When humans first explore space we used mechanical probes. Perhaps when we begin to explore time we will also use probes. In this story that exactly what happens. A probe equipped with artificial intelligence is sent back 6000 years into the past to see if there's any truth to the legend of the Tower of Babel. The probe discovers the people being oppressed by a being calling itself Ashurbanipal. The probe must decide if it will casually observe or if it will intervene.

First of all, hats off to David for portraying an artificial intelligence that was at once both familiar and alien in its way of thinking. I also thought the vocal distortion effects for Ashurbanipal's dialog was an excellently chilling touch. The concept of sending a probe, and telling the story from the probe's point of view, was to me a welcome twist on the format of the time travel story. As this is a story about seeking truth to the legend of the Tower of Babel, among other twists you might have strong feeling if you are of strong religious conviction. Just figured I'd give a fair warning.

Now, remember how in the intro I mentioned that if you donate fifty dollars or more Norm will write and produce a song for you? Well, after this story you get to hear one of those. Specifically, one titled "The Babylon Battle of the Bands", which was commissioned by a Biblical and Near Eastern archaeology society and I've got to say it is an excellent song.

A story about the search for the truth, and one I happily recommend.

"The Reenactment" by Ben Winters

Narrated by Dan Chambers
A Drabblecast Original

This story follows high school history teacher Robert Stanley; a man who thinks himself surrounded by idiots. Once a year he, along with a math teacher, reenact the dual between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. This year, however, the math teacher is getting married and can't make it. No matter, a replacement has been found. As the day grows closer Robert begins to wonder if he is a mere history teacher or something greater.

Okay, maybe this isn't alternate history per say, but it's still plenty of fun. I loved how sarcastic and unabashedly self-centered Robert was. If Severus Snape taught history I image he'd be much like this. It goes without saying that Dan's narration did a great job delivering that pompous snark. Though as someone whose high school experience was less than happy I can certainly see where Robert is coming from in his observations of his students.

I can't really give too much of the ending away without spoiling, but I will say that it is humorously ironic. I'm sure it'll get a chuckle out of you.

A humorous look at a history's teachers life. I say give it a try.


"Garkain" by Samantha Henderson
Narrated by Graeme Dunlop, Mike Boris and Delianna Forget
Originally Published in Fantasy Magazine


We're heading to The Land Down Under for our next story. It follows three different individuals across three different eras of Australian History. What they all have in common, however, is that they have all had an encounter with a mysterious creature known only as the Garkain.

Not the best description, but this story is worth your time. I've always had a soft-spot for stories set in Australia, and for stories about cryptids. I loved that this story was set over three different time periods, not only because it gave us glimpses into Australian History, but because it gave the Garkain the weight of history. This added weight of history gave the Garkain even more of an air of mystery and intrigue. In terms of narration, I thought that all three narrators did a great job.

A historical creature feature from the Land Down Under that you won't want to miss out on.

"Once a Month, on a Sunday" by Ian McHugh
Narrated by Emma Lee Yit
Originally Published in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine


This story's setting is a bit unclear. It appears to be either the 19th Century or the early 20th Century. Whatever the exact time period, it is a world where creatures from Australian folklore and legend are real and established fact of life for the people of Australia. The story follows a young girl and her family as they navigate the wilderness to attend their monthly church service.

Again, not the best description, but it is still a good story. I would have liked to have known a bit more about the world of the story. It seems a familiar, but it also seems just a bit off. For example, there is a mention of a Green Christ. I've heard of Jesus being referred to as White Christ by the Norse, in contrast to Red Thor, but never as Green Christ by anyone. Regardless, I still greatly enjoyed getting to see the different the different creatures from folklore, and the way they characters had adjusted their lives to keep them at peace.

I also enjoyed Emma's narration. Another Australian story you'll be sure to enjoy.

"Morris and the Machine" by Tim Pratt
Narrated by Norm Sherman and Monica Vacey
Originally Published in Triangulations: The End of Time

This story follows a man named Morris who has invented a time machine. He and his wife have an increasingly strained relationship, and he uses the time machine to go back to when they were younger and happier. Morris is sacrificing his present to relive the past, but is it a price he can truly afford to pay?

Sooner or later we all get to a point in our lives when things get rough and we long for simpler times. Then there are those decision that we regret and would give anything to be able to undo. Tim really taps into those feelings with this story. There's a lot of things in my own life that I wish I could go back and fix. Still, the story also carries a moral about the dangers of dwelling on the past at the expense of the present. As Morris discovers, he can't change the past, but he can create alternate timelines. It makes the story bittersweet; Morris couldn't fix his relationship in own timeline, but at least there's hope for his own for is alternate universe doppelgänger.

Sometimes it makes me feel better to think of how much better off I am than several alternate versions of me. Of course, that's usually followed by me thinking about all the alternate universes where I'm better off than in this one. In more positive thoughts, I thought that Norm and Monica's narration really did this story justice.

A bittersweet Tim Pratt time travel story that you won't want to miss.



"Night of the Living POTUS" by Adam Troy-Castro
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published on Amazon.com


This story follows a newly elected president on his first night in the White House. He is young and idealistic. He thinks he's in for a night of restful sleep, but fate has other plans. He will have to do battle with the previous president of the United States who have come back to life as zombies. It is a solemn duty shared by all who become president.

There are times when you listen to the Drabblecast to hear story that make you think, feel, or transport you to other worlds. Then there are times you just want to listen to a story about a living president battling an army of zombie presidents. Though, given that the last president he faces is Donald Trump, this implies the story takes place in either 2021 or 2025. That does create the minor issue that a few of the presidents would still be alive, so how can they be zombies? Then again, this isn't a story that adheres too closely to silly things like logic and reason, so maybe I ought to just roll with it.

Norm took a silly premise and made it sound truly epic with his narration. A fun little story that I'm sure you will enjoy.

"Happy Old Year" by Tim Pratt
Narrated by Matt Hayes
A Drabblecast Original

This story follows a man named Dave who has taken more than his fair share of knocks in life. The future seems bleak and hopeless, and he’d like nothing better than to go back and redo his past. A chance visit from a beautiful, mischievous magical woman named Elsie gives him just that. Dave has traded his future so that he can relive the past, but is that really such a good idea?

Every year the Drabblecast asks Tim Pratt to write them a Christmas story, but this one was a special New Years Eve story. I’ve encountered Elsie in a few other stories Tim has written, and she probably my favorite out of all of his characters. I love how she’s unrepentantly evil and runs around with a devil-may-care attitude. In many ways she reminds me of Ryuk form DeathNote, given that they both introduce magical items to mortals out of boredom, with equally disastrous results for the protagonists. I guess the moral of this story is that, no matter how bad the present is, you shouldn't give up hope for the future. If you do, the results can be pretty disastrous.

Matt really nailed it with the narration of this story. It is a story that is well-worth your time. 

"Letter from Lynchburg" by Edward J. Knight  

Narrated by Mike Boris  

Drabblecast Original  
 
This story begins in 1865, during the final days of the American Civil War. The Confederacy is on the ropes, and in desperate need of something to turn the war around. To this end, they perform an occult ritual to open a portal to the realm of Jotunheim. They hoped to enlist the aid of the giants of Norse Mythology. Unfortunately, the Jotuns had no interest in helping the South. Rather, they want to use this as an opportunity to claim Midgard for their own. The Union and the Confederacy are going to have to put aside their differences to save America from an invasion of mythological proportions. 

  
Your eyes aren't deceiving you. This is an unambiguously alternate history story from The Drabblecast. And it is just as amazing as you'd expect. Also, bonus points for being an American Civil War alternate history that isn't the usual Confederacy Victory scenario. American Civil War meets Norse Mythology, what's not to love?  

 
Well, I did have a few minor critiques. First of all, Jotuns weren't giants. In Norse Mythology, there are two main tribes of gods: the Aesir and the Vanir. The Aesir were war gods, while the Vanir were fertility gods. The Jotuns were, essentially, a third tribe of gods. This confusion comes from a mistranslation of the word Jotun. However, this is a fairly omnipresent trope on works based on Norse Mythology, so I'll let it slide. Plus, it made for a fun story.  


Another issue was the way the Confederates are portrayed. Specifically, Robert E. Lee is depicted as a competent and talented general. This is another common, but annoying trope. Lee was, in fact, an incompetent nincompoop. Lee got better grades at West Point, but Ulysses S. Grant was a better military commander. At the Battle of Vicksburg, Lee's entire unit got slaughtered, and he barely escaped. Grant, by contrast, made it through the battle without losing a single man. Lee only looked good compared to George McClellan. Lee got his ass kicked after Grant took over command for the Union.  

 
Also, it is mentioned that Andrew Johnson is president of The Union. Did Lincoln get assassinated like in our world, or did the giants eat him? But these are just minor critiques. Overall, I did very much enjoy this story. Mike did an excellent job with the narration.  

 
The American Civil War meets Norse Mythology. Listen to it today and be glad that you did.  
 
"1977" by Carrie Vaughn  

Narrated by Carly Lyn 

A Drabblecast Original 
 
This story begins in...well, 1977 of course. Megan is a woman who has immersed herself in the world of disco, night life, and clubbing. It's a funky groovy good time. Still, she longs for something more, and she doesn't really have any long-term plans. Then, the next thing she knows, she finds herself teleported onto a spaceship in the future. She's been brought forward in time by a guy name Oz, who is a bit of a disco fan. Looks like Megan's future just got a lot more interesting.  

 
This is a Carrie Vaughn story, so it's pretty much guaranteed to be good. As an unironic lover of disco music, this story really spoke to me. This story makes me wonder what future generations will make of the music of today, and even that of the recent past. Music History classes has begun to teach about jazz. Perhaps, in the future, they will expand to include genres such as folk, country, rock, rap, and yes, even disco. Hey, it was an important moment in modern music history. I really liked how this story ends, but that's something I'll let you discover for yourself. Carly did an excellent job with the narration. I also loved how "Night Fever" by the Bee Gees played at the end of the episode.  

 
A funky episode about disco and time travel. Of course I recommend it. 


"A Last Kiss For Lazarus Wintersby D.K. Thompson 

Narrated by MarBelle 

Drabblecast Original 

 

This story is set in the world of Dave Thompson's St. Darwin's Spiritual series. It is a world where Charles Darwin developed goggles that allow the living to see the dead. The story follows Lazarus Winters, a black man living in London. He makes a living by extorting spirits for money and information. He's currently investigating the murder of his friend Neena. The investigation soon leads him to uncover a conspiracy of religious fanatics with a vendetta against the spirits. 

 

As you may remember, I reviewed another St. Darwin story during my second article on Escape Pod. Of the two I think I prefer this one better. I liked how this story showed what it was like for racial minorities in Victorian Britain. We defiantly get to see the seedier side of this universe, and I think that was to this story's benefit. Also, there are no steam powered marvels or airships in this story, so if you don't like those you'll be good with this one. 

 

Another things helping this story with MarBelle's narration and the excellent use of music and sound effects. All in all, another great entry to the St. Darwin's Spiritual universe. 

 

Narrated by Norm Sherman 

Originally Published in Near+Far 

 

This story takes place in an alternate universe populated by sentient porcelain people. Their world is a hub of interdimensional travel and tourism. The story follows a porcelain woman named Tikka as she falls in love with a human from Earth. 

 

This one's a bit unusual as far as alternate histories go, but I figured it was worth squeezing in. I found it somewhat confusing that the porcelain people were assigned social class arbitrarily. It almost reminded me of the classic EC Comics story "Judgement Day". Conversely, I was intrigued by the descriptions of other universes. For that matter, the porcelain people seem like they'd need to have been created by something else, but what made them? There's a universe inhabited by purple griffins and a universe with sentient rainbows, among other worlds. I can't really say much about the story's central romance without giving it all away. You'll have to find that out for yourself. 

 

As usual, Norm does an excellent job with the narration. A slightly unusual alternate history, but one that is well worth your time 


"The Golden Age of Fire Escapes" (Part 1 and Part 2) by John Aegard

Narrated by Norm Sherman and Monika Vasey
Originally Published in Rabid Transit: Petting Zoo

This story, told in the style of an old time radio show and set in a dieselpunk 1930s/1940s, follows a mysterious masked fire marshal as he fights to keep his city safe from fires. To this end he's created an elaborate system of fire escapes spanning across the city like a great metal spider web. But, will his greatest invention prove to be his ultimate downfall?

This story felt like a giant dieselpunk love letter to the pulp heroes/proto-superheroes of the 30s and 40s. The narration being modeled off of radio shows from those eras certainly helped in that regard. We see the fire marshal at the height of his glory and then fade into obscurity even after all he's done for his city. Perhaps it can be seen as a allegory for the many heroes ones beloved in their day, but in the present are incredibly obscure. Still, the ending was very heartwarming in its own way.

I should mention that this is actually a double feature. Before "The Golden Age of Fire Escapes" you get to listen to "In Search of the Mongolian Death Worm", which follows an Unsolved Mysteries-esque team as they...well, search for the Mongolian Death Worm. It's told in multiple parts, but you don't have to have listened to any of the previous installments to get what's going on. It's absolutely hilarious and you get to hear Norm sing a song about Mongolian Death Worms.

Two stories for the price of one. Get them while they're hot.

"Hero: The Movie" (Part 1 and Part 2) by Bruce McAllister
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction

What happens to the heroes of 1950s B-Movies when the camera stop rolling? That's what this story aims to find out. Our hero Rick has saved his hometown of McCulloughville, Nevada from a swarm of giant mutant locusts. Rick should be on top of the world, but he feels empty and hollow. Before long his star fades out, his girlfriend leaves him, the media turns against him and things are looking down. Then he gets a call from Florida to help deal with a crab infestation. Could this be the chance he's been looking for to redeem himself and bring purpose back into his life?

The first half of this story is an absolutely brutal deconstruction of B-Movies and their heroes. The second half, however, is a thorough reconstruction of the concepts. The story itself is presented in the form of a script of a movie, and besides the descriptions and dialog includes suggestions from the director. Another aspect worth mentioning is that, although the story is mostly set in the present day, McCulloughville seems to be forever stuck in the 50s. In fact, when Rick travels to it the description reads as if he's traveling back in time.

There's something going on, but the story never makes it clear what. The story can easy be seen as a coming of age tale for Rick and the ending is very touching. You probably think I'm going to say I liked the narration...and you'd be right.

A story about finding purpose after you've slayed your monster. I happily recommend it.

"The Cold Equations" by Tom Godwin
A Full Cast Production
Originally Published in Astounding Science Fiction

This story technically isn't alternate history and many of you have probably heard of it. However, there's a story in Lightspeed Magazine, which we'll be covering next time, that is alternate history and based on this story. Therefore, I figured it be worth going over to prep for that story.

In the future, where humanity has begun to spread to the stars, a lightweight speeder ship is on a mission to deliver medical supplies. The pilot of the ship, however, discovers a seventeen year old girl has stowed away. Standard procedure is that all stowaways are to be tossed out the airlock. Can the pilot find the a way to balance the cold equations and save the girl?

Like I said this story, and it's ending, are extremely well known, as in Rosebud was Charles Foster Kane's beloved childhood sled well known. Therefore, it isn't exactly a spoiler to say the pilot can't find a morally sound way and the girl willingly throws herself out the airlock. Originally, the author wanted to save the girl through some technobabble, but editor John W. Campbell smartly pointed out the story would have more impact if the hero failed the save the pretty girl.

Now, to take such a well known story and make it feel fresh requires a special team of narrators. Fortunately, The Drabblecast knows how to pick their narrators. Of course, I guess it's also a credit to Mr. Godwin's writing talent that the story still packed it's punch after all of these years.

It's a classic for a reason. Go check it out.

Conclusion

Well, that does it for our tour of The Drabblecast. I hope you enjoyed. Remember, for ten dollars a month subscription you, yes you, get access to exclusive members only content, and fifty dollars or more gets you a song about whatever you please. And hey, this is just the alternate history stuff. There's plenty of more great free stories just waiting to be discovered.


I think that should do it for now. As I previously stated we're paying a visit to Lightspeed Magazine next time. I'll see you then weirdos!