Just a quick recap, The TEMP follows a man named Bernie Pfelger. He's a temporary worker, a temp if you will. He has worked many strange jobs, with many strange employers. We are joining him on all the wacky misadventures in his quest to find permanent employment. I realize that isn't much of a summary, but I promise that this is a good show. I was approached by series creator Michael Wilhelm to review this audio drama. He noticed my frequent posting of reviews in the Audio Drama Lovers Facebook group. I said yes, after I took care of a couple other reviews, and now here we are.
Episode Nine is titled "Mother's Nature." Bernie is having deal with a real mean girl at his latest office job. Her name is Maxine and she's got it out for temps, and Bernie is her latest target. Will Bernie innocence and charm win her over, or are more drastic measure required?
We have some new things this season. For example, the formerly instrumental theme song now has lyrics. It's a fun little ditty, as you might expect. Also, Bernie and Penny's daughter Menorah finally makes an on-screen appearance, for lack of a better way of putting it. She's dropped out of college...because she's making a six-figure salary reviewing stuff on YouTube. Bernie was worried that it involved nudity, but his fears are misplaced. Now, if it had been Twitch or OnlyFans, well, then he might have had a more legitimate concern.
Clearly, Menorah isn't reviewing audio fiction. You don't make...well, actually, I don't make any money doing this. It is a labor of love. Of course, that's partially on me. I don't run ads on this blog, because you guys have enough ads in your life, and I probably wouldn’t make much anyway. I don't have a Patreon, because I don't know what to give as rewards, and there are tons of audio dramas that deserve your money more than I do. I also take my reviews pro bono. I will never charge to review someone's show. Audio drama is expense enough as it is, and charging for reviews would be exploitative. Like I said, labor of love. But enough about me, back to the show.
So, Menorah is doing pretty well for herself. Though, I do understand Bernie's concern about her dropping out of college. I mean, imagine if her YouTube career fizzles out. She'd be wandering around aimlessly from temporary job to temporary job. Oh, everything would be fine for a bit, but then she'd inevitably get fired and have to find a new job. But what would Bernie possibly know about that?
Good thing The TEMP is a comedy. Bernie is a middle-aged white man being tormented by a young white woman. That sort of set-up, especially in the post-MeToo world, would not have ended well in a more serious show. Bernie would be at a serious disadvantage. Well, that and Bernie would have gotten into trouble for the scene where he wears a baseball cap backwards and goes "yo, yo, yo." In real life, somebody probably would have complained that he was being racist.
Still, I guess one of the upsides of Bernie constantly getting fired is that, no matter how terrible his job, it's only temporary. It's like Avenue Q says, everything in Bernie's life is only for now. Well, except for death and paying taxes, but hopefully he won't die anytime soon.
Episode Ten is called “Gumshoe.” Bernie gets a job working at the Marge in Charge Detective Agency. Despite the name, it’s actually Marge’s husband who is the head detective. Well, he’s kind of an idiot, and she does most of the work. But still, he’s still head detective on paper. Bernie mostly just holds down the fort while the detectives are away, but hey, he’s living his detective dream. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, there was a bit of unintentional bit of synergy in my life with this episode. I listened to it not long after beating all of the detective endings on Kyle is Famous. It is a Choose Your Own Adventure type game where you are a talk show host preparing for his latest episode. Well, that’s the basic plot. There are over 117 possible endings, and things can quickly go off the rails, and into complete insanity. You can become a ghost, time travel, or even show up to the interview totally naked. You can also have Kyle change jobs, one of which is being a detective. You’ll probably need a guide sooner or later, but it is worth it to experience Kyle is Famous in all its insane glory.
Anyway, back to The TEMP. Bernie mentions that it has been his lifelong dream to drive around in a van and solve mysteries. Does he also plan on adopting a Great Dane as part of this plan? Bernie, I really can’t sugarcoat this, so I’m going to give it to your straight: you’re simply too old to be a meddling kid. Also, I’m pretty sure meddling kids don’t get paid, and you can’t afford to be working pro bono. But hey, even if Bernie is too old to live out his Scooby-Doo fantasies, he’s still the right age to give us plenty of laughs and entertainment. I also realize that I’ve heard the theme music on certain commercials before, but nothing wrong with that. Audio drama is expensive, and royalty-free stock music is a good way to save on cost, while also utilizing a quality product.
This was, all things considered, another reasonably good episode.
Episode Eleven is “Meme, Myself, and I.” Bernie becomes a meme after accidentally eating some insanely spicy potato chips, and washing them down with copious amounts of milk. Bernie is suddenly inundated with job offers and opportunities. It’s almost too good to be true, but how long will it last?
This is another episode that shakes things up. Bernie gets fired halfway through the episode, but that’s when the real fun starts. We also see a different side of Menorah. When she first appeared, she seemed fairly sweet and kindhearted. Come this episode, I’m tempted to believe that Menorah is slightly evil. She’s the one who tricked Bernie into eating the spicy chips, and knew he’d make a fool of himself with the milk. I also appreciated the brief nod to Penny getting stuck in the mascot costume in episode two. Also, milk is indeed useful in combating spicy food. Water spreads the oils within chilis around your mouth, but milk bonds with the oils, and draws them away.
So, about the meme itself. The TEMP prides itself on being a family-friendly comedy audio drama. A bring this up because, in real life, I can see the memes getting very perverted very quickly. Given what milk looks like, it wouldn’t take long for places like 4chan, and the seedier parts of Reddit and Twitter, to take the meme in some very family-unfriendly directions.
I figured that Bernie’s meme would die fairly quickly. That’s just how it tends to go with the lifecycle of memes. Still, didn’t see him becoming a creepypasta. Well, it’s called Spooky Noodles, but it’s pretty clearly meant to be a parody of creepypastas. For those who don’t know, creepypastas are horror stories that are posted on the Internet. Bernie is reimagined as the Milky Man, which sounds vaguely similar to Slender Man. Maybe the company didn’t want to risk a repeat of the Slender Man Stabbings. Back in 2014, two girls attempted to murder their friend because they believed Slender Man want them to become his avatars. Before anyone clutches their pearls, I would point out the girls were determined to be suffering from mental illness, and were later committed to a psychiatric institute. Also, the creepypasta community held a fundraiser to raise money for the victim of the stabbings.
So, we’ve got another episode that decides to mix thing up, and I’m definitely here for it.
Episode Twelve is “Royal Flush.” Bernie decides that he’s stuck in a rut, and decides to shake things up. By that, I mean he tries out a different temp agency. He lands a pretty sweet position as a bathroom attendant at a very prestigious country club. The tips alone bring in quite a bit of money. It’s like a dream come true. But things rarely stay stable for long with Bernie.
There are indeed fancy places that have bathroom attendants. Said attendants offer visitors a variety of soaps, towels, cologne, and amenities. I suppose it seems kind of nice, but public restrooms always make me feel rather nervous, especially when there’s a lot of people in them.
Bernie is told that he cannot use the restroom himself. Employees have their own bathroom in the basement. It seemed like that was setting things up. I assumed Bernie would eat something that would disagree with him, and he would have no choice but to use the fancy toilets. That, or he’d try to hold it, but would wind up soiling himself. However, it seems that this was a red herring.
He does, however, find himself in the middle of a class war. Several of the other employees decide to revolt against the country club, and barricade the fancy bathroom. I guess you could say they were planning a shit-in. The leader speaks with a noticeable lisp, and he reminded me of Barry Kripke from The Big Bang Theory. He’s the one who says stuff like “Hewwo, Swelldon Cwoopa. It is me, Barwwie Kwipke.”
Well, Bernie learned a valuable lesson from all of this. If an offer seems too good to be true, chances are, it’s probably a load of shit.
Episode Thirteen is “Chemical Reaction.” He has been assigned to work at a toy factory. Bernie feels like he’s just gotten hired by Willy Wonka, and in a way he’s correct. That is, he’s not working in an office, but on the ground floor of the factory. So, he’s basically an Oompa Loompa. The toys are made using several highly toxic chemicals, and the factory is a very unsafe place in general. But hey, what’s the worst that could happen?
The episode description described the toy factory as progressive. I assumed this might mean that the episode would be poking fun at political correctness. This would be odd, as The TEMP is usually fairly apolitical. But this was not the case. The factory is a decidedly unsafe place to work, with numerous OSHA violations. I’d probably be just as nervous as Bernie was, if not more so. But hey, Bernie’s probably already been exposed to all sorts of horrible chemicals. Depending on how old Bernie is, his body is probably full of lead. It was used all the time in gasoline and paint back in the day. It’s just like how everyone in my generation are probably full of microplastics.
Usually, The TEMP is pretty episodic. However, this episode adds a bit of continuity. Bernie and his temp agent are still dealing with the consequences of the previous episode. In fact, Bernie thinks his agent set him up as revenge for going to a different temp agency. Oh, and in other Wonka references, Bernie calls his agent a Vermicious Knid. I guess we’ll have to see if this plot thread continues in future episodes.
So, Bernie has saved the day and stop a toxic factory. Well, there’s a decent chance the factory owners will regroup and move production somewhere else. Presumably, somewhere with fewer safety regulations, such as China or India. But hey, Bernie should count his wins no matter their size
Episode Fourteen is “Class Trip.” Bernie enrolls in a class that promises to help land him a permanent job. Bernie feels like he’s a kid in school again. The class covers things like rhymes, hopscotch, proper siting, and being efficient. Is this really going to help him be better? Does Bernie even need to be fixed?
This episode was deceptive. Well, to me it felt like it was. I have had many nightmares about having to repeat college and/or high school. I mean, overall I did enjoy my time in college, but I am glad to have finally put my formal education behind me. I’m still not entirely convinced that the teacher of the class wasn’t a cult leader. She takes away everyone’s cellphones, thereby limiting their contact with the outside world, constantly tries to shame and gaslight everyone, tries to get everyone to tie their self-worth to her approval, and she claims her method is the path to salvation. Sounds like a cult leader to me. When the teacher offers everyone juice boxes my first thought was “No, Bernie! Don’t drink the Kool-Aid!”
Speaking of our main man, we learn that he likes to watch the movie The Towering Inferno whenever he’s feeling down. Apparently, the sight of a skyscraper full of people burning to death calms him down. Well, now we know why Bernie has never been able to hold down a job. His agent did give him bad jobs, but with good reason. If Bernie stay in one place for too long, he might get bored, and give into his pyromaniac tendencies. Wait, a minute, Bernie is pretty heavily based upon Michael Wilhelm. Uh, will you please excuse me, I need to call the Fort Wayne, Indiana Police Department. That was a joke, just in case it wasn’t obvious.
This episode is probably the closest that The TEMP will come to a horror episode. I like the part where Bernie lists all of his accomplishments over the course of the series. It will be interesting to see where he goes from here.
Episode Fifteen and Episode Sixteen are a two-part episode. The first half is “Lost & Alone” and the second half is “Lost In Space.” Bernie Pfelger is missing! Well, not really. He’s actually been brought in for questioning by some government agents. But hey, Penny and Menorah don’t know that. They’re determined to find Bernie no matter what it takes. Meanwhile, Bernie recounts his latest misadventure. He got hired as the personal assistant to a very eccentric genius at a rocket company. Bernie’s new boss had some truly out of this world ideas. Like wanting to launch himself into orbit to defend the Earth from aliens.
This was a lot of firsts for The TEMP. We had our first two-part episode. We also got to see Penny and Menorah take the lead for a good chunk of the first half. That was a fun change of pace. It was interesting to witness Bernie’s escapades from the perspective of someone other than Bernie himself. I initially wondered if Bernie’s new boss was going to be a parody of Elon Musk. However, this was not the case. He was more of a generic mad scientist type.
I also liked how there were some real space facts slipped in with the comedy. For example, seven miles-per-second is indeed the escape velocity for launching into Earth orbit. Also, Earth orbit is indeed filled with all sorts of junk and debris. This is a major problem, and is known as Kessler Syndrome. Basically, the more debris in orbit, the more likely collisions are; and the more likely those collisions set off the chain reaction of collisions. I also liked the bit with the radio transmissions coming from all around the world.
This two-part episode certainly didn’t crash on the launch pad. It was truly out of this world, and a fitting note to end season two on.
This was a lot of firsts for The TEMP. We had our first two-part episode. We also got to see Penny and Menorah take the lead for a good chunk of the first half. That was a fun change of pace. It was interesting to witness Bernie’s escapades from the perspective of someone other than Bernie himself. I initially wondered if Bernie’s new boss was going to be a parody of Elon Musk. However, this was not the case. He was more of a generic mad scientist type.
I also liked how there were some real space facts slipped in with the comedy. For example, seven miles-per-second is indeed the escape velocity for launching into Earth orbit. Also, Earth orbit is indeed filled with all sorts of junk and debris. This is a major problem, and is known as Kessler Syndrome. Basically, the more debris in orbit, the more likely collisions are; and the more likely those collisions set off the chain reaction of collisions. I also liked the bit with the radio transmissions coming from all around the world.
This two-part episode certainly didn’t crash on the launch pad. It was truly out of this world, and a fitting note to end season two on.
We had a great first season of The Temp. Our second season not only continues this quality, but manages to shake things up and try new things. I’m very much looking forward to season three. Especially because I acted as a consultant for one of the episodes. But, uh, more on that when season three gets here.
Well, I think that should do it from me for now. I will see you guys next time.
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