The Audio File: Bad Gladiator

I tend to have fairly high standards when it comes to comedy podcasts. I don't like ones that are overly self-referential, or self-indulgent. I don't like ones that drag jokes out for too long. Comedy podcast are under an additional layer of scrutiny when they're themed around history. So why am I tell all of this to you? Because I've found a podcast that both meets and exceeds my standards. We're taking a look at the podcast Bad Gladiator. 

For the glory of Rome! Bad Gladiator follows a young aspiring gladiator named Atticus. He's got high hopes, but pretty much no talent. Thankfully, he's just started at the Roman Empire's worst gladiatorial arena. It is owned by a patrician woman named Domitia, who hopes that the arena will go bankrupt and she can move back to Rome. Unfortunately, Atticus soon become a massive hit because of how hopeless he is. The story follows Atticus, and the colorful cast of characters who run the arena, as they have wacky adventures at the worst gladiator arena in the Roman Empire. 

Like I said, the standards were met and exceeded by Bad Gladiator. The episodes of the first season typically clock in at between twelve to fifteen minutes. By season two, the episodes are closer to twenty minutes, but that last few minutes are usually reserved for a brief word from the cast and crew. This keep the episodes fresh and snappy, and ensures that the jokes never overstay their welcome. Of course, this is also due very much to the genuinely intelligent and witty writing. It's not a "wacky thing every thirty seconds" sort of comedy. Bad Gladiator has the feeling of a sitcom in an unusual setting. Sort of like The Flintstones, but with occasional swearing and sex jokes. Fun fact, Hanna-Barbera did create a show called The Roman Holidays that pretty much was The Flintstones in Ancient Rome, but it only lasted for thirteen episodes. 

There's plenty of fun little deliberate anachronisms throughout the show. For example, the Ancient Roman equivalent of Twitter is literally sending messages on birds, and you send dick picks by panting and/or carving frescoes. That one has a kernel of truth to it, given how shameless Roman art could get. You'd even seen penises in places you wouldn't expect, such as on the signs of bakeries. Though, that was because penises were associated with fertility, as in fertile crops of grains used to make bread. So, I wouldn't call this alternate history, at least not deliberately, but it should appeal to alternate history fans. It is never clear when the show is set, other than vaguely Ancient Rome. Of course, as stated, that's not really of much importance, given the comical nature of the podcast. 

One thing I love about that writing is that, though historical accuracy obviously wasn't a priority, occasionally it does slip in real facts about Ancient Rome. For example, the characters often mention drinking wine flavored with lead, and that the water pipes are made of lead. Both of these are indeed real things the Romans were known to do. Admittedly, not as crazy as it might sound. Lead does have natural anti-bacterial properties. The Ancient Egyptians used lead in their eyeliner, and that contributed to them having good eyesight. Unfortunately, lead is also toxic to humans, so you know, win some loss some. 

Now let's talk about the characters. Many members of the cast are professional actors who have appeared in shows such as Sleepy Hollow, The Resident, The Detour, and Rectify. You may remember the writers of Bad Gladiator from podcasts such as Bad Gladiator and Bad Gladiator. Yes, that's a joke, but good on the writers for assembling such a talented cast. 

Atticus is our leading man. He's got high hopes, but low talent. I mean, the dude fought a stingray that had no water, and the stingray won. To be fair, some stingrays do have long and sharp barbs, and some are venomous. He earns the title of Jaculator because he fights with a javelin. It's a joke based on the Latin word for someone who fights with a javelin. Atticus is played by Jim Hodgson, who delivers an earnest and endearing performance. Jim is also one of the writers for the podcast. It might be fun to watch...listen...you know what I mean. Let's try that again. It might be fun to watch Atticus get beat up by animals, but he's endearing and sympathetic enough that we want to see him succeed every now and again. 

Domitia is the reluctant owner of the arena. She's cynical, sarcastic, and almost comes across as a movie star past her prime. She is voiced by Leanna Adams, who really nails the jaded wash-out sort of voice and demeanor. Domitia constantly switches between hoping the arena will go out of business, and trying to take advantage of various situations to make a quick denarius. Denarius is the name for Roman coins, if you were wondering. 

Domitia's daughter Claudia serves as Atticus' primary love interest. She's generally nice and sweet, but she can certainly snark with the best of them. She's voiced by Lauren Schmuck, who goes for the girl next door feel. She dreams of one day becoming a gladiator herself, but Domitia forces her to peruse more traditionally feminine activities, such as pottery class. She's not much for clay pots, but makes lovely ceramic swords. She's not immune to the slapstick, and is just as likely to have misfortune befall her as the male characters are. Claudia does get her wish to be a gladiator in one episode by switching clothes with Atticus, who finds he rather enjoys pottery. Interestingly, there were at least some female gladiators in real life. However, they were, for lack of a better term, publicity stunts. For example, Emperor Commodus like to have women fight against midgets and dwarfs. Were the midgets stacked on top of each other, or spread out individually? Well, you got me there, the historical record is vague on that point. 

Atticus also has something of a mentor in the form of Magnus. Well, mentor is a strong word. Magnus is lazy, slovenly, lecherous, and is one of the oldest gladiators at the arena. He's Domitia's on-again-off-again boyfriend, and he likes to sleep in the sewers. Magnus is voiced by Rob Lawhon, who really goes for a past-his- prime dirty old man sort of performance. Still, a broken clock is right twice a day, and occasionally Magnus does pull through and do something useful. 

Starting with season two, we get an antagonist in the form of the Piss Witch. Well, she prefers to be called the Pee-Pee Witch, but everyone calls her the Piss Witch. She's one of Magnus' many ex-girlfriends, and as her name suggest, she has power over all forms of urine. She is played by Jaymi Curley, who is clearly having a blast portraying the Piss Witch as hammily over-the-top evil.  

I also love the arena's delightfully campy promoter, and how he finds ways to charge the arena audience for pretty much everything, including using the bathroom. In fact, he's more concern with that than actually promoting the fights. His constantly hawking of merchandise might seem like an anachronism, but that's more accurate than you might think. Real gladiator arenas did indeed sell figurines of the gladiators, as well as commemorative glass cups and other souvenirs. Also, the arena sells flamingo tongues, which were indeed considered a delicacy in Ancient Rome.  

Bad Gladiator has, as of this writing, two seasons with a third on the way. It certainly sounds like they've got even more great things in store for the future. I'm particularly intrigued by the hints that we might get a musical episode. That sounds awesome, I'm totally down for that. 

Well, there you have it. Bad Gladiator is a smartly written historical comedy about the Roman Empire's worst gladiator arena. It is funny, entertaining, and I can't recommend it enough. Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight! Do yourself a favor and check it out now, you'll be glad that you did. 

Well, I think that's enough from me for now. I will see you guys next time. 

Comic Review: The Eagles of Rome by Enrico Marini

As I've said before, I tend to have very high standards when it comes to historical fiction.  I'm especially excited whenever I find a comic book that lives up to my standards.  That brings us to the comic we'll be reviewing today.  We're taking a look at The Eagles of Rome by Enrico Marini.

The Eagles of Rome takes places during the reign of Emperor Augustus.  The Roman Empire is seeking to expand its boarders into Germania.  Towards this end, a young Germanian prince has been sent to Rome to be fostered as part of a peace agreement with the Cherusci tribe.  To his people he is Ermanamer, but the Romans have given him a new name: Arminius.  Arminius has been sent to live with Titus Valerius Falco and his son Marcus.  The comic follows Arminius and Marcus as the grow into men and join the legion.  As they grow, Arminius finds himself increasingly drawn to the land of his birth.  Marcus and Arminius are going to find themselves on opposite sides of a great conflict.  In time it will be known as the Battle of Teutoburg Forest. 

Before we begin, I should note that The Eagles of Rome is not a finished series.  As of this writing, only five volumes have been published.  It's also pretty obvious that the story is not over yet as of volume five.  With that having been said, let's begin our review.

Like I've said, this book is very well researched.  Granted, there are a few minor liberties taken here and there.  The biggest being that Marcus and his family are completely fictional.  I'm fairly certain that Marini did this to give a Roman perspective on the happenings.  It is also through Marcus that we get to see Arminius grow and change.  This is very much the story of Arminius as witnessed by Marcus.  Fun fact, Enrico Marini wrote a Batman comic for DC Comics.  It was part of a program they did to hire famous European comics writers to write for some of their most famous characters.  Anyway, the design Marini used for Bruce Wayne is almost identical to the one he uses for Marcus.  Naturally, some have joked that Marcus is Bruce's several times great-grandfather.  I'll leave it for you to decide.

Now, I should mention that this comic does have a fair bit of nudity and sex to it.  I'd argue that this is fairly accurate to the time period.  Ancient Rome was pretty shameless, by modern standards, when it came to sex.  Granted, medieval Christian writers did tend to exaggerate this to an extent, but we do have archaeological and historical accounts to backup these views.  We also see several older men who are clearly in carnal relationship with younger eliminate men.  Pederasty war par for course in Ancient Rome.  At one point we hear the Romans taunting the Germanians with insults like "Woden sucks cock!"  To which the Germanians reply in kind.  This might sound anachronistic, but Roman graffiti is cover with such insluts, so points for accuracy.      

I did like how the parts set in the red-light district showed the seedier side of Roman life.  In a lot of ways, living in Rome was like living in a third-world country is you were a plebeian.  We see a lot of buildings made out of bricks and wood, and this is historically accurate.  Marble was reserved for the rich and elite.  Commoners had to make do with other materials.  Furthermore, the marble buildings we do see often contain quite a bit of paint and color to them.  Again, this is indeed how the Romans decorated their buildings.

Another mark towards historical accuracy is the way relationships are portrayed.  Marriages are done almost exclusively for diplomatic purposes, with marrying for loving being almost unheard of.  In the grand scheme of things, marrying for love is a fairly recent development.  This creates issues when Marcus falls in love with Pricilla, who has been betrothed to Quintus Aemilius Lepidus.  He is the grandson of Lepidus of the Triumvirate.  He's got a massive chip on his shoulder as he struggles to regain his family's good name.  He also isn't too fond of Emperor Augustus.  He's aware that Pricilla and Marcus are in love, and frequently takes his anger out on both of them.  As such, when the Battle of Teutoburg Forest happens...well, I won't spoil that.  Let's just say that Lepidus gets what's coming to him. 

Things only get trickier when Marcus and Pricilla have a son together, whom they name Titus.  It might seem odd that they named him after Marcus' abusive father, but there were only about seventeen common names in Ancient Rome.  Also, it was common practice to name children after other family members.  Lepidus thinks that Titus is his child, though he does connect that dots after a few volumes.  Strange that it took him that long, given that he is a redhead, Pricilla has light brown hair, and Titus has black hair like Marcus.  Also, little Titus does look quite a bit like Marcus.  As an aside, I always thought that Lepidus looked kind of like a younger version of Emperor Nero.  Perhaps this was intentional, to further underscore that Lepidus is not a nice fellow.

Arminius also finds love.  He gets married to a chieftain's daughter named Thusnelda.  Her father, Segestes, is seeking to marry is daughters to powerful Romans to forge alliances.  Fortunately, Thusnelda and Arminius are very much in love with each other.  Marcus' mother Albinia was also a chieftain's daughter who was married to a powerful Roman.  Arminius even considers tempting Marcus to join the rebellion by appealing this his Germanic heritage. However, he decides against it, reasoning that Marcus is too loyal to Rome.  As another aside, you'll notice that there are a few Romans wearing pants in Germania.  The Romans despised pants a barbarian clothes.  However, the legions stationed in Germania eventually had to admit that the barbarians were onto something; especially during the winter.

I should probably also talk about Marcus' father.  Titus Valerius Falco would probably be considered abusive by modern standards.  He constantly berates Marcus for his unmanly hobbies such as poetry and carving wooden figurines.  There's even a point in the first volume here he rounds up all of Marcus' figurines and burns them in-front of Marcus.  He also puts Marcus and Arminius through some very harsh training by hiring a former gladiator named Volcanus to train them.  Despite all of this, he would be considered a good father by Roman standards.  In fact, Augustus even applauds him for instilling fortitude in his son and foster-son. 

There's several times throughout the comics that Marcus has seemingly prophetic dreams.  For example, right before the Battle of Teutoburg Forest, he had a dream where an eagle and a wolf getting into a fight, and the wolf kills the eagle.  Obviously, the eagle is Rome, the wolf is Germania, and this symbolizes the Roman's coming defeat.  Of course, there is debate about whether if the dreams were really prophecies, or if it was all coincidence.  I'm inclined to think that there is something supernatural is at work.  Still, it is a minor potentially supernatural happening in an otherwise straight-up historical fiction comic.

I can't forget to talk about the art.  It is very well done.  It is made using watercolor, and looks absolutely gorgeous because of that.  It is very well drawn, and easily rivals anything that you'd find at Marvel or DC Comics.  In fact, it is better than a lot of the art on the current stuff they're putting out, but I digress. 

The big battle has already happened by the time volume five ends.  However, it is pretty obvious that the story isn't over just yet.  The battle is pro tray in all its glory and horror.  What made Arminius such a powerful advisory was that he'd been trained in Roman fighting style.  He could combine the best aspects of Rome and Germania, and he knew all of the Romans' weaknesses.  As I've said, fostering foreign princes was a common practice during the time.  The Romans figured that, if they introduced foreigners to their culture, the foreigners would grow to love Rome.  This would make conquering new territories much easier.  They never dreamed that one of these princes might stab them in the back. 

It goes without saying that Arminius is going to survive until the end of the story, and I'm fairly certain Marcus will as well.  I'm not really sure what's going to happen next, but I can't wait to find out.  There's usually a wait of a couple of years between volumes while Marini works on other projects.  Still, hopefully the wait won't be too bad. 

So there you have it.  The Eagles of Rome is one of the best historical fiction comics out there.  I cannot recommend it enough.  Well, I think that's everything I need to say for now.  I will see you guys next time. 

Comic Review: Pax Romana

Time travel has long been used as a vehicle for creating alternate history.  Mark Twain did this in his classic novel A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.  L. Sprague de Camp also did this in Least Darkness Fall, the novel that inspired Harry Turtledove to study Byzantine History.  I bring this up because it relates to the comic that we're going to be taking a look at today.  We're taking a look at Pax Romana by Jonathan Hickman.

Pax Romana starts off in with a framing story in the megacity of Constantinople.  The Gene Pope, the bioengineered leader of the Catholic Church comprise of the genetic material of 1026 holy men and women, is telling the young emperor of the Holy Roman Empire the story of how the empire came to be.  Ah, but this isn't the Holy Roman Empire you're probably thinking of.  It is a Roman Empire that never fell, and where church and state are attached at the hip.

 It all start in the year 2050 of an alternate timeline.  Most of Europe had gone secular, and Islam was on the rise due to mass immigration.  The Church was losing support by the day, and might be on its last legs before long.  In a last-ditch effort to fix this, the Church sent a paramilitary force of 5000 individuals back in time to the year 312 AD.  The goal was to set up a stronger foundation for the Church and prevent the mistakes of the past from ever happening.

The forces were led by Nicholas Chase, the Pope's own nephew.  Well, technically, Caridnal Beppi Pelle was meant to be the leader, but Chase killed him shortly after the team arrived in the past.  Chase and his team decided to implement their own plan, while trying to stay true to the spirit of the original.  They were tasked with creating a better future, but can utopia ever be created by mere mortals?

I think I'll start by talking about the art.  I can best describe it as stylized minimalism.  You don't really get any true backgrounds, just some splashes of color and maybe a couple bit of furniture.  The characters themselves tend to be drawn mostly white with a few splashes of color.  I have to admit, I was rather skeptical at first, but it kind of won me over in the end.  There were times I did wish to see some more detailed backgrounds, but the minimalist style actually kind of works for this comic.

Let's talk about themes.  The description of society in the 2050 is actually a red herring for the true theme of the comic.  Namely, can a perfect society be run by imperfect beings?  As the old saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  We see this from the very first issue when Nick assassinates Cardinal Pelle.  Of course, it goes beyond that as Nick's fellow mercenaries begin to develop their own plans and ambitions.  Still, in the end they're still pretty successful.  The technologically advanced future of the framing device, completed with colonies on Mars, is reveled to be the year 1492.

Just as a side note, when I first read this comic, the 2050 scenes seemed laughably unlikely.  These days, however, they seem eerily prophetic.  The socio-political part, not the Vatican developing time travel part.  Side note, why does the pope order all evidence of the time travel plot destroyed?  History is going to be changed so, one assumes, all incriminating evidence will be wiped away. 

I thought that the Romans were all well written.  Constantine is more than happy to receive help from the time travelers, but at the same time, he's no medieval moron.  He has his own plans and ambitions.  The Romans might be less technologically advanced than the future humans, but they're no less intelligent than them.  Although, when Constantine declares that the church will incorporate beliefs from many different religions, including heretical strands of Christianity, there is springily little push back.  He basically goes "I'm the Emperor and I say we do it this way, so there!" and beyond a token resistance, everyone is cool with this.  As far as Constantine himself creating such a syncretic religion, I can buy that.  He's often credited as the first Christian emperor of Rome, but he was a major devote of Apollo throughout his life, and his wasn't baptized until he was on his deathbed.

The Catholic Church in this alternate world is very catholic in the small-C sense of the word.  The Gene Pope's official titles include the Black Rabbi, the Last Caliph, the Panchen Lama, the Pratyekabuddha, the Eternal Priest of Amun-Ra, the White Shaman and, of course, the Bishop of Rome and the Vicar of Christ.  It's hinted that this is only a fraction of his full list of titles.

I will say it is a bit odd that Last Caliph is part of the list of title, since there's a good chance that Mohammad was never born in this alternate timeline.  There's brief mention that the positions of Gene Pope and Emperor of Rome have historically been one and the same.  This is likely a nod to how, starting with August, the Emperors of Rome also served as Pontifex Maximus, the chief priest of the Ancient Roman religion.  This position is where the pope gets the title of pontifex from. 

Okay, I've been putting it off for long enough.  This is, overall, not a bad comic.  That having been said, it's considerably overhyped, in my opinion.  If you look at a lot of the mainstream reviews, you'll see people gushing about how this is the next big thing, and how it's going to revolutionize the world of fiction.  These people obviously have not read much alternate history, or else they'd know that it's been done before.  Harry Turtledove's Guns of the South has a very similar premise to Pax Romana.  As do SM Stirling's Island in the Sea of Time series, Eric Flint's 1632 series, John Birmingham's Axis of Time series, and you could even go all the way back to the novel's I mentioned at beginning of this review.  That's not even getting into all of the online alternate historians who have tried their hands at such a scenario.

None of this makes Pax Romana a bad comic, but it does go to show that it's premise wasn't quite as groundbreaking as many professional reviewers would have you think.  The big problem I had was just how short the comic was.  We get some very tantalizing glimpses of the history of this alternate Roman Empire that are just begging for elaboration.  This really feels like one part of a much bigger story that never materialized, and overall it just feels incomplete.  As far as I can tell, Hickman never intended for there to be sequels, thus compounding the issue.

Granted, there is a timeline towards the end that chronicles some events in the history of this alternate universe, but it just isn’t the same as being able to see all of that in comic book form.  I know that Syfy has expressed interest in adapting Pax Romana.  If they do, I sure hope they expanded it into a full-series, rather than just a miniseries.  It worked wonders when Amazon did it with The Man in the High Castle.

Well, there you have it.  Pax Romana is far from a bad comic, but also quite a bit overhyped.  I think you'll find it reasonably enjoyable, if a bit lacking.  Well, I think that will do it for now.  I'm off to find more great comics to review for you guys.  I will see you all next time.

Roma Islamica: A Twilight Histories Map

At long last a classic map has made it's way to the blog.  This was the first map I ever map that was inspired by The Twilight Histories.  This one was based on the episode Roma Islamica.  I got a lot of help from the episode's companion book.  And the rest, as they say, is alternate history.  Well, let's get on with it, shall we?

The Byzantine Empire fell in the 8th century rather than the 15th century. Without a powerful Christian buffer state to oppose it, Islam quickly spread throughout Eastern Europe. Constantinople became both the capital of the Umayyads and a major pilgrimage site that rivaled even Mecca and Medina.

The Abbasids, feeling the Umayyads had grown too decadent and forgetful of the teachings of Islam (and angered over how much money Mecca and Medina were losing to Constantinople) would go on to overthrow the Umayyads as they did in our world.

The Frankish emperor Charlemagne converted to Islam, both due to having several Muslim tutors in his youth and seeing that Islam would most likely become the next major religion. Charlemagne went on to declare Jihad against the Umayyads and anyone he perceived to be an enemy of Islam. After helping establish Abbasid power in the Middle East he went on to conquer the Italian Peninsula.

The Abbasids, realizing they'd inadvertently created a monster, had Charlemagne poisoned. The noble families of Rome, lacking a clear leader, established something similar to the senate of their ancestors. This led to the establishment of an Islamic Roman Empire stretching from the Pillars of Hercules to the River Ganges. Several Romans unwilling to convert to Islam, including the Pope, and several Umayyads, fled to Ireland. The Umayyads converted to Christianity and became the new ruling class of the island nation.

The Mongol Empire managed to last considerably longer than in our world due to the greater emphasis on central government. Although Tengrism is still the dominate religion, Buddhism is winning more coverts by the day. Missionaries from Ireland have ensured that Christians are also a small but growing presence in the empire.

The Mongols were able to successfully conquer Japan. Several Japanese fled prior to the invasion in hopes of establish a new Japanese homeland free of Mongol rule. They arrived in Mexico and quickly conquered several native peoples and establish a new empire combining Japanese and native culture and traditions.

Northern Europe (the parts not under Roman rule) is still pagan. The no alcohol aspect of Islam is somewhat hard to sell. This has prompted many Imans within the empire to reinterpret the rule that "no Muslim shall drink alcohol" to be "no Muslim shall drink alcohol to excess" to encourage the conversion of those territories. This has created considerable controversy within the empire.

Russia was established by Viking princes as in our world, and has served as a (somewhat redundant) buffer state between the Romans and Mongols after many years of passing back and forth between the two empires.

Britain has been balkanized (the in-universe term is "anglicized") between Rome, Ireland, Scotland and the Danish. The Midlands is more of less neutral territory and is the site of much cultural blending. Scotland is a mixture of Christians and pagans due to the work of Irish missionaries.

Several nations have experienced Industrial Revolutions including Rome, the Mongols, Mali and India. Srivijaya and Ireland are currently in the process of industrializing. Mali has remained strong and continues to expand. Though Rome initially wanted to conquer Mali they are now more than happy to have a fellow Islamic empire as an ally.

Srivijaya has become a major power in the South Pacific and Indian Ocean. Their empire has expanded and their trading fleets are found in ports in all corners of the world. The fact that they are primarily Hindu and Buddhist has caused some issues when trading with Rome and has lead to their alliance with Hindu India. They are also the primary trading partner (besides Japan-in-exile) with the Inca Empire.

Several powers are beginning to colonize the New World. The Vikings are expanding there colonies along the northeast coast of what would be North America. The Irish established a colony just in case Rome ever conquers them and to spread Christianity to the natives. They originally intended to settle around Massachusetts, but after discovering the Vikings were already there moved to Virginia and the Chesapeake Bay. Rome has also established a colony at the mouth of the Mississippi with its capital at New Alexandria (roughly where New Orleans in OTL). 

Book Review: Gunpowder Empire by Harry Turtledove

Believe it or not there was a time I read physical books rather than audiobooks, and on occasion I still do, and so I have decided to review one such book in this blog post.  That book is Gunpowder Empire, book 1 of the Crosstime Traffic series, by Harry Turtledove.  This was not only the first Harry Turtledove book I ever read, but it was also the first alternate history book I ever read.

The book takes place in the 29th century; in the past Earth was ravaged by overpopulation, environmental degradation and fossil fuels got used up.  Fortunately, all of those problems got solved when travel between universes got discovered.  Earth trades with parallel Earths to get food and raw materials, but they do so in secret and undercover; best not to panic the locals or give the more advanced timelines any ideas.  The story follows Jeramy Solters and his family go on missions to an alternate (as the universes are called) known as Agrippan Rome.  In this alternate Marcus Agrippa managed to live longer than in our world and conquered Germania, which help ensure the Roman Empire never fell.  In time Rome discovered gunpowder and developed firearms; unfortunately technological progress stagnated after that and Rome became a gunpowder empire (hence the title).  

The Solters trade in goods that are slightly better than what the Romans have in hopes to starting the wheels of progress once again.  Specifically they trade things like mirrors, razors, mechanical clocks and pocket watches, and so on.  Everything is going well on a routine trip when Mrs. Solters starts having abdominal pain and has to go back to the home timeline with Mr. Solters.  Jeramy and his sister Amanda are going to be on their own for hopefully not too long.  However, it's not long before the computer loses contact with the home timeline all together.  What's happened?  Will Jeramy and Amanda ever see their parents and their home timeline ever again?  Will they survive the coming invasion of the Lietuvians?  

Like I said, this was both my first Turtledove novel and my first alternate history novel; even after all this time I still say it was the perfect starting point for me.  One of the great things about the Crosstime Traffic series is that all of the novels are standalones and can be read in any order.  I just read them in order of publication because I'm that way.  Now, I've noticed a lot of older readers complaining about the fact that the protagonists are teenagers and that the novels seems geared towards young adults.  To those people I have this to say: you know that's the point right?  Turtledove wrote this series specifically to introduce teenagers and young adults to alternate history, so older readers weren't the target demographic.  I suppose this confusion comes from the books being shelved with Turtledove's adult books rather than in the young adult section.  

Turtledove has a Phd in Byzantine History, and I could definitely tell that he was in his element when he wrote this novel.  The descriptions of daily life in an alternate Roman Empire were lovingly and knowledgeably crafted.  I also liked the descriptions of how religion turned out.  For example there are only three gospels and the Bible has different end because John the Apostle was never born and Paul wrote letters to church that don't exist in our world.  Meanwhile, Christianity is split between those willing to making offerings to the emperor, known as Imperial Christians, and those who refuse to do so.  Also, Jesus is simply considered one god among many.  Maybe it was because I was always hungry when I got to them, but the descriptions of the food was great.  At one point I ate some bread and honey along with the characters and even made a toast to the emperor's health.  

It was also fun to see the little knowing winks to Turtledove's other works.  There's a scene where Jeramy plays a video game about aliens invading in the middle of World War II.  For those who don't get it, Turtledove's WorldWar series was going to get a video game adaptation, but for various reasons it fell through.  There's also mention of a world were the American Revolution never happened and America remain with Britain, and in a bit of foreshadowing to the following Crosstime Traffic novel, a world where Germany won World War I.  The exact boarders of this Roman Empire weren't established, but there's been fan speculation and so I've included this handy map to give you an idea.  Dark blue is firmly Roman, lighter blue is probably Roman, lightest blue is disputed and brown is Lietuvian.    

They say alternate history can also be a learning experience about actual history, and that was certainly true here.  I really got a few for what it would be like living in Ancient Rome.  It wasn't all gladiators and circuses, and even then those tended to be fairly violent and gory by modern standards.  There was slavery, head lice, the threat of invasion, poverty and other such things.  Yet there was also a fair amount of grandeur and awe, and I was still filled with a sense of wonder at this brave new world I explored with the turn of a page.  I also got to learn about the Lithuanians, some of their history and how they were pretty cool too.   

Where Jeramy and Amanda the most memorable of characters?  Maybe they weren't, but they served a purpose.  That could be applied to most of the characters.  They all helped brings the world of Agrippan Rome to life and show what made it tick.  Also, don't be afraid to get attached to anyone, because for once in a Turtledove novel, everyone lives!  Suffice it to say that this means there's a happy ending and Al, works out for the best.  Hey, I like happy endings, and so it was all good to me.  It find it humor in hindsight that Crosstime Traffic was a more business like version of the company from Twilight Histories, for whom I often make maps.  Perhaps it's only fitting that Crossitme Traffic was where I got my alternate history start.    

This was my first alternate history novel and my first Turtledove novel.  Even to this day it remains one of my favorites and most memorable alternate histories.  Pick up a copy today, and take a journey across time.  

Cleopatra Caesar: A Twilight Histories Map

A new map of mine based on The Twilight Histories episode Cleopatra Caesar. Among other things in this world:


Julius Caesar was not assassinated. Caesar went on to establish an empire stretching from the British Isles to India, and in time he would be known as Caesar the Great. Caesar married Cleopatra and they had a son named Ptolemy; Caesar lived to a ripe old age and died a very happy man. However, the good times were not to last. A group of senators, lead by Marcus Brutus, assassinated Ptolemy and all of the senators from the eastern provinces. Not long after this a slave rebellion broke out, lead by a slave named Draco the Greek, and soon Brutus was assassinated.

Cleopatra was able to escape to Alexandria along with a group of loyal servants. With Rome occupied with the salve rebellions, Cleopatra set out to reform Egyptian society along Roman lines. Eventually, Rome was able to quell the salve uprisings, but also enacted reforms to prevent future uprisings and paved the way towards greater rights for slaves. Rome, somewhat begrudgingly, granted Egypt its independence due to the overtaxing of the empire's troops and money on the slave uprisings. Before long Egypt began to expand south in search of gold and other resources. Rome had begun work on a canal connecting the Mediterranean and Red seas, but it would be Egypt that would finish the canal.

China never experienced the An Shi Rebellion and remained the primary power in Eastern Asia. Rome has maintained trade relations with China since the days of Caesar, and Egypt has also established trade relations with China. China was the first nation to experience an industrial revolution, but other nations, such as Rome and Egypt, were soon to follow. Despite China's dominance Japan managed to establish itself as a regional power, and has carved out a small empire of its own.

Roman expeditions across the Atlantic lead to the discovery of the New World, or Terra Nova as it was soon known. Before long several nations were scrambling to establish colonies on new continents. The Mande Empire established a series of colonies in Brazil, but it wasn't long before Rome took control of the colonies. Meanwhile, Egypt and Japan competed with each other for control of Australia. Australia had first been discovered by Srivijayan fishing boats, but it had gone largely ignored until this golden age of exploration.

Egypt and Japan also competed with each other in South America. Eventually, it was decided that Japan would have Australia while Egypt would take the southern half of the Incan Empire. Despite the loss of nearly half their empire the Inca managed to maintain their sovereignty.

Rome's colony in Brazil was a unique blend of Roman, Mande, Egyptian, Japanese and native culture. This unique heritage lead the colony, known as Tupia, to develop as sense of identity as something other than a province of Rome. After a few centuries Tupia declared its independence from Rome. Around the same time the Roman province of Mexica, also very much the product of unique ethnic blending, declared its independence as well. After a lengthy war both colonies were granted their independence. Rome's primary North American colony, Occidenta, remain loyal to the empire despite the Tupia and Mexica uprisings.

Mexica established a constitutional monarchy much like Rome and many other nations, but Tupia defended itself as a republic like in the early days of Rome. The Mayans had been able to resist colonization for the most part, and the Mexica quickly formed a defensive alliance with them. Meanwhile, Tupia established good relations with the Incan Empire.

Traditional polytheistic religions are still very much alive and well, but there have been several popular cults over the years such as Mithras, Isis, the three daughters of Allah, but by far the most popular have been Buddhism and Christianity. However, it should be noted that Christianity has had significant Hindu and Buddhist influences to the point of looking almost unrecognizable. For example, Jesus is believed to be an avatar of Vishnu and his teaching emphasized breaking free of the cycle of reincarnation. Due to Christianity and Buddhism emphasizing compassion for all living things vegetarianism is more widespread than in our world.

Despite not having large empires, several nations have become economic and trading tigers in recent years. Such nations include Siam, Mande, Kongo, Lunda and Srivijaya. Japan has also been doing quite well, and is currently in negotiations to possibly purchase some of China's possessions.

Things in general have been looking up for this world. Over the years Rome, Egypt and Mexica have become republics. Rome, Egypt, Tupia and China have all launched missions to orbit; Rome has event sent missions to the Moon. Even nations that are monarchies generally have some from of representative government. Old tensions are dying down and a spirit of international cooperation is spreading throughout the world.