Okay gang, it's here at last! This is the first story of the new Nile High. For those who don't know, it a little something I've been working on about mythological gods and goddesses attending boarding school, and having adventures, in a deliciously anachronistic ancient world. What started life on Fictionpress all those years ago is now finally gaining a fresh new life on my blog. I've wanted to share this world, and these characters, for a long time. Be sure to let me know what you think in the comments. Oh, and if you can thing of a good title, don't be shy about making suggestions. Alright, enough with the intro, let's get on with the story!
Thoth was
used to seeing the halls to the Nile High Academy of Gods and Goddesses bustling
with students going to and from class.
Walking the halls during class, went they were almost completely
deserted, was almost like stepping into a totally alien world. Thoth had asked to be excused his world
philosophy class to use the restroom, but in actuality he just felt like
strolling around for a bit. Besides,
he'd pretty much had the entire world philosophy book memorized, so it wasn't
like he'd be missing much. It was
shaping up to be a day of smooth sailing, but fate had other plans for Thoth.
Thoth
noticed move out of the corner of his eye.
At first, he just brushed it off, but then he noticed that the blur was
getting closer to him. Thoth looked
again and saw his best friend Anubis poking his head out of a trash can. Anubis darted his eyes around nervously and
motioned for Thoth to came over to him.
This could only mean one thing: Anubis had gotten himself into some sort
of mess, again. Thoth sighed and walked
over to where Anubis was hiding.
"I
really blew it this time, Thoth! Okay,
admittedly I use that line on you a lot, but I really, really mean it this
time! You gotta help me! If Tsukuyomi finds out what I did, he'll have
my head on a spike for sure."
"And
what exactly did you do to put yourself in this predicament?" Thoth
inquired.
Anubis took
in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So you know the other day how you
said I needed more responsibility in my life?
Well, Amaterasu was looking for someone to watch her pet
cat-tiger-tapir-elephant...thing."
"Ah,
her pet baku. His name is Haku, if I
recall correctly."
"Yeah,
that's the one! So anyway, there's a
pretty nice reward attached to the job and I decided to take it. Amaterasu and her bro Tsukiyomi gave me the
usual rules spiel, handed me some instruction papers and sent me on my
way."
"I see,
and what did you do with those instructions?"
"Oh,
dude! I went hang out with Thor and we
made these awesome paper airplanes. You
should have seen them go! I never knew
paper airplanes could fly that high. We
also made some paper balls and played fetch with Haku. It was kind of cute."
"Hey,
that might be something. Did the papers
say what to do if...you didn't even glance at those papers, did you?"
"Nope,
not a single word, but I did manage to make a paper airplane do, like, seven
loop-de-loops in a row."
Thoth sighed
and massaged the bridge of his beak. "Okay, so where was the last place
you saw Haku?"
"Well,
after playing catch I took Haku to the library so we could take a nap. We found one of those sections nobody ever
uses, fluffed up our pillow, curled up on the floor and and had the best nap
ever. Then when I woke up Haku was gone,
I freaked out, and now we're all caught up.
Come on buddy, help a pal out?
Tsukuyomi ain't gonna let this slide if he finds out."
Anubis
certainly had a point there. Thoth could
well recall an occasion when he'd accompanied Thor to Japanese dorm on official
business of the student council. The Norse
thunder god, completely ignorant of proper Japanese etiquette, had made
numerous faux pas through the meeting.
Tsukuyomi had tried his best to be indulgent, but he'd slowly become
increasingly unhinged as the meeting dragged on. Eventually, things came to a head when Thor
belched without excusing himself. After
that Tsukuyomi judo flipped Thor at least twelve times before literally kicking
him out of the dorm.
Thoth
certainly wanted Anubis to learn from his mistakes, but leaving him to
Tsukuyomi's wrath would be complete overkill.
The library seemed the most likely place to start the search; given that
it was where Anubis had last seen Haku.
Thoth did briefly worry about walking out on his world philosophy class,
but he quickly dismissed the concerns.
Mr. Tenjin tended to be fairly understanding whenever Thoth needed his
fellow students on short notice.
#
The library
was one of Thoth's favorite parts of school.
Whenever he was having a bad day he could instantly perk himself up with
the wonderful smell of books and scrolls that greeted him whenever he first
walked into the library. The library
spanned multiple levels; in fact, some of the shelves stretched all the way
from floor to ceiling. Thoth had spent
many a happy afternoon getting lost among the forest of shelves and
alcoves. Even if he didn't find
specifically what he was looking for, rare as that was, he was sure to find
something of interest and have a good time.
Of course,
scouring the library for a lost baku was quite a different matter. Anubis had lost Haku a section hardly anyone
used, but where could that be? Perhaps
they could narrow it down by going through some of the more esoteric subjects. History of sweet potatoes in Japan? No, that wasn't obscure in the
slightest. Survey of underwater basket
weaving technics? Underwater basket
weaving was one of the most popular classes, so that was a no. Comparative methods of alchemy? Well, that was practically a trend these
days.
After a
while Thoth and Anubis decided to take a break at one of the work tables. Thoth wondered to himself if he was looking
at the problem from the wrong angle.
Haku was a moving target, and that meant he could be anywhere in the
library. A bit more troublingly, it also
meant he could potentially be anywhere in the school. Maybe they needed to focus less on find Haku,
and more on getting Haku to come to them.
As Thoth
pondered these thoughts he felt a tapping on his shoulder. He looked up to see a Greek goddess with long
blue hair, and who was wearing an olive-green chiton with bronze battle armor,
standing next to him. Before he'd gotten
tied up with Anubis, Thoth had agreed to meet Athena in the library. Every Tuesday they got together to discuss
the craziness going on in their dorms, a subject they had yet to exhaust, and
make a plan of action for when, inevitably, things really went off the rails.
"Hey,
guys...what's with all the scrolls about baku?"
"In a
nutshell? We need to find a missing baku
or Tsukuyomi will kick Anubis' ass into next Thursday."
"Yeah,
that's about what I figured. Any
progress so far?"
"None
so far, but I did have an idea. Dreams,
practically bad ones, are a baku's favor food source. So, what if we were to lure it out by
sleeping?"
Athena
nodded in agreement. "It does have a high probability of success. We'll need somewhere secluded to pull it
off. Perhaps the sociology section? Hardly anyone ever goes there."
"Ooh,
that's a big no-can-do on that one.
Hermes told me that he and Freya were gonna have...a study session! Yeah, they're having a very important study
session and they don't want anyone to disturb them," said Anubis.
"And
what exactly are they studying?" inquired Athena.
"Uh...anatomy
and biology."
"Pre-modernist
critical intersectional dance therapy section it is then!"
Anubis was
quick to volunteer himself as the one to take a nap. He quickly pulled several books off the
shelves and assembled them into a bed.
Next, Anubis unfurled a particularly large scroll and laid it on top of
the books like a blanket. Satisfied with
his work, Anubis plopped down on the bed of books and covered himself with the
scroll. He nestled into a comfortable
position, closed his eyes and immediately reopened them. Anubis tried to shift into a more comfortable
sleeping position, but nothing he seemed to do worked.
"Hmm,
that's weird. This is one of my favorite
places to nap. You know, now that I
think about, I might have some honey cakes stashed around here. Yeah, maybe that'll help."
"Just
purely out of curiosity, why do you like to nap in the library? You do know that's what the dorms are for,
right?" asked Thoth.
"Thoth,
please. There ain't no sleeping in
Egyptian Dorm! There's always something
fun happening; it's like a big party! Of
course, sometimes I need to just get away from it all, so I come here."
"Oh
please, you guys have nothing on Greek Dorm.
Just the other night, Dionysus flooded the entire dorm with wine, and
then he let at least thirty wild leopards into the dorm. Why did he do this? He's Dionysus, that's why. Oh, but that was just the beginning. After that, Hephaestus' automatons began to
malfunction..."
"Gah! Oh man, that is an epic story of
awesomeness! I'll never get to sleep at
this rate!"
Thoth
snapped his fingers. "I just remembered, I forgot to fill you in on that
math class you missed. So, we start by
factoring a really big number..."
And just
like that Anubis was out like a light.
Now it was just a matter of patiently waiting for Haku to take the
bait. Fortunately, it wasn't long before
there was a rustling from a nearby bookshelf.
The little baku trotted over to Anubis and wiggled under his arm like a
stuffed animal. Anubis smiled happily
and stroked Haku in his sleep.
Everything was going exactly as planned, but then Thoth caught movement
out of the corner of his eye.
Thoth had to
look again to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He glanced over at Athena and confirmed that
she'd seen it as well. A few months ago,
some of the Egyptian students had thought that it would be funny to bring some
of the library books to life. Most of
the books had been captured and rendered inanimate, but a few remained
free. Normally, the flying books were
harmless, so long as it wasn't their nesting season. The books turned especially territorial and
aggressive during nesting season.
Thoth and
Athena did their best the avoid any sudden movements; lest they spook the
books. The books were beginning to
circle around the trio of deities, and a few had perched themselves on the tops
of nearby shelves. Thoth extended his
spell staff to its full length and Athena unsheathed her sword. At first everything was still and there was
nothing but a tense silence, then the books made their attack.
Most of the
books attacked by dive-bombing, but a few had more specialized attacks. A book about weather shot bolts of lightning,
while a book about volcanos emitted a stream of fire. Thoth cast a few basic shielding spells in
hopes of getting the books to back off.
Unfortunately, this only seemed to irritate the books further as they
began to swarm even faster than before.
Athena unsheathed a second sword and proceeded to tear through the books
like the tornado. Tattered pages
scattered everywhere as papyrus and parchment met bronze blades. Athena managed to do quite a number on the
books, but it still wasn't enough.
Thoth
considered his options; he needed something that would be quick, but also kept
collateral damage to a minimum. A fire
or water spell could easily get out of hand in a confined space such as the
library, and wind spells could prove tricky as well. He considered using a speed spell to make it
appear that time was froze, but those spells drained a lot of energy. Hmm, freezing, perhaps that could be
something? Thoth pulled out his curved
ivory wand and drew a snowflake hieroglyph in the air. Each stroke of the wand produced a glowing
line, and when it was finished the hieroglyph burst into a shower of blue
sparks.
The air grew
noticeably colder and frost began to form along the covers of the flying
books. Before long they began to look
more like ice sculptures than books. The
books gave one last flap of their pages before they completely froze solid,
dropped to the floor, and shattered into millions of pieces. The few flying books that had managed to
survive quickly darted away for parts unknown.
Athena nudged the pile of frozen book bits with one of her swords and
gave Thoth a quizzical look.
"Hmm,
flash freezing spell? That's a new
one."
"It's,
uh, just a little something I've been working in my spare time. The snowflake hieroglyph is, admittedly, a
bit of an improvisation, but it certainly gets the job done."
Just then,
Anubis woke up and affectionately scratched Haku's head. "Now that's a
good nap. So anyway, what did I
miss?"
Athena
arched her eyebrow in suspicion. "You seriously didn't hear any of
that?"
Anubis
shrugged. "Well, I had help from
this adorable little fuzzball."
Anubis
tucked Haku into his satchel and the three gods made their way out of the
library. The baku hunt had taken so long
that it was just about time for alchemy, a class all three of them had in
common. The halls had once again
returned to life with the hustle and bustle of students going to and from
class. Thoth, Athena and Anubis were
about to round the corner when they found their path blocked by an imposing
figure. He was tall and intimidating,
but his most notable feature was, without a doubt, his eyes. He had at least 100 eyes scattered all across
his body. He was Argus Panoptes, Vice
Principle of Nile High.
Mr. Argus
was not particularly fond of Athena, and they frequently butted-heads with each
other. This wasn't because he held any
particular ill will towards Athena.
However, Mrs. Hera despised Athena with every fiber of her being, and
Argus took an immediate dislike to anything Mrs. Hera hated. He had served as her bodyguard for many
years, and he still tried his best to win her favor whenever possible.
"I spy,
with my hundred eyes, three students who appear to be up to no good."
"Oh,
hello Argus," remarked Athena as she nonchalantly studied her fingernails.
"That's
Mister Argus to you, girl. So watch your
mouth."
"Are we
really about to go through all of this again?
Is the kiss-assing business really that slow today?"
"Do not
speak ill of Lady Hera! She is the Queen
of Olympus, and I my duty bound to defend her honor!"
"But I
didn't even..."
"Don't
try to deny it! I can see what your
intentions were! Remember, I am watching
you, Pallas Athena! I am always watching
you, and when you slip up, I will be there!
Now, away with the three of you!
I have important matters to attend to."
With that,
Argus marched into his office and slammed the door behind him. Thoth breathed a silent sigh of relief. Argus and Athena's mutual vendetta could get
rather heated at times. If they managed
to get through an encounter with causing any collateral damage, well, it was a
certainly small blessing. Thoth's relief
soon evaporated when he glanced over at Anubis.
The jackal-headed god was staring in disbelief at the gaping hole in his
satchel. Thoth stared at the Anubis,
then at the hole in the satchel, and back to Anubis once again. The baku hunt was back to square one.
"I
don't understand; how could Haku have chewed though the satchel so
quickly?"
Anubis placed
his hand behind his head and smiled sheepishly.
"Hypothetically speaking, I may possibly have forgotten to get my
satchel patched up."
"Well,
'hypothetically speaking', I'm about three seconds away from slapping
you!" snapped Athena.
"Okay,
okay, let's all take a step back and think before we do anything rash,"
said Thoth as he stepped between Anubis and Athena. "What we need right now a way to
determine probability. What's the most
likely place Haku could have gotten to?"
Athena
pulled out a stylus and clay tablet and quickly began to jot down mathematical
equations. In a way, mathematics was a
kind of magic in its own right. Anything
that could be proved mathematically it could be proved in the real world. Thoth had the upmost most respect for Athena
and her mathematical formulas; though they did have a bit of friendly rivalry
over whether science or magic sliver a given problem better.
Athena
frowned as she examined her work. She
ran the equations few more times, but the results were the same no matter what
she did. It didn't take much deduction
for Thoth and Anubis to know that the answer wasn't going to be good.
"The
math checks out. I can say with
eighty-eight percent certainty that Haku is in...Argus' office."
"Well,
on the bright side, at least Tsukuyomi doesn't know," remarked Thoth.
Immediately
after Thoth uttered these words the trio of gods saw the one deity they least
wanted to see. It really goes without
saying that this deity was, in fact, Tsukuyomi himself. Anubis stared in bug-eyed horror at the
Japanese moon god, but he quickly composed himself and casually leaned against
the wall. If Tsukuyomi suspected that
anything was off, he made no sign of it.
"Hello,
Anubis. Fancy meeting you here. Is everything going well with Haku?"
"Haku? Yeah, that little rascal's having a
blast. Things couldn't possibly be any
better. You know I got this, man!"
"Why
that's just dandy. Say, where is the
little fellow?"
"Where
is he? Um, uh, er, well you see, Haku
is...under Athena's helmet! Yeah, that's
where he is! He got a little sleepy, and
baku like to sleep on people heads so...there you go."
"Really? Looks like there wouldn't be that much room,
but if you say so. At any rate, I'm glad
I ran into you. Just wanted to check in
and make sure everything's okay. That
baku means the world to my sister. If
anything were to happen to him, well, I'd do anything for my dear
Amaterasu."
With that
Tsukuyomi bowed to Anubis and went on this way.
Anubis let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he'd just dodged a major
bullet. Of course, there was still the
issue of getting Haku out of Argus' office.
Mr. Argus' hundred eyes could see almost the entire electromagnetic
spectrum; a basic invisibility spell simply wasn't going to cut it. Thoth snapped his fingers as if he was
summoning something, but nothing seemed to appear. He then bent down, as though he was picking
something up, and then Thoth's right hand completely vanished.
"I figured
this old thing might come in handy someday."
"The
invisibility ring we made for the school magic fair! Every time we fixed one problem another one
popped up. It still amazes me that we
got first place," said Athena.
"Okay,
so if it's an invisibility ring then how do you see anything? Like, wouldn't your eyes be invisible
too?" asked Anubis.
"That
is...actually, that's a really insightful question. Normally I would have just used a sight
charm, but Athena insisted we challenge ourselves. It has to do with the fractal foldings within
the..."
"Okay,
I'm bored now. What's that plan?"
Athena
rolled her eyes. "I'll use the ring to look for Haku, you guys run
interference and keep Argus distracted."
Thoth's
relation with Mr. Argus was, at most, fairly indifferent. Thoth was a model student, and certain did
his best to stay out of mischief.
However, whenever Argus and Athena got into a particularly heated
argument he almost always sided with Athena.
Thoth wasn't sure what to expect when he knocked on Argus' door. The door swung open and Argus...just stared
at Thoth and Anubis, as if he wasn't sure what to make of them, or what to
do. After a few minutes of drawn out,
and considerably awkward, silence Argus cleared his throat.
"Oh, uh,
hello there. Might I inquire about your
business here?"
"Hello,
Mr. Argus. As I understand it, part of
your role as vice principal is being there for students when they have problems
and concerns. That is to say, Anubis and
I really would appreciate it if you took a few minutes to speak with us."
"I, er,
alright then. Come on in and have a
seat."
Thoth
lingered at the door in order to assure that Athena slipped in. Argus briefly eyed Thoth suspiciously, but he
soon went back to looking confused and awkward.
Thoth hadn't really had any time to prepare a cover story; he was going
to have to improvise and hope that Anubis could keep up.
"Have
you ever felt...well, suppose that you like someone, but they don't know that
you like them. Almost like, well, almost
as though you were totally invisible and they didn't even know you were
there. Do you know what that's like, Mr.
Argus?"
Thoth
immediately felt a sharp pain in his leg, as though he'd just been kicked. He could practically see Athena giving him a
look and, okay, admittedly he been a bit on the beak just then. Argus gazed longingly at photo of Mrs. Hera
that was on his desk.
"Yes, I
suppose I do know what that's like."
"It's
like your chasing after that one thing that will solve all of your problems. You're constantly running around, but then it
turns out that what you're really looking for is much closer than you
think. Maybe it's not where you want it
to be, certainly not where you'd have preferred it to be, but when you find
it..."
"What my
buddy Thoth means to say is, don't you think Mrs. Hera is the best teacher this
school had ever had?"
This
definitely got Argus' attention. A
significant portion of the office appeared to have been turned into a miniature
museum dedicated to Mrs. Hera.
Overseeing the assembled collection of assorted knickknacks and
paraphernalia was an imposing portrait of Mrs. Hera. Argus walked over to the portrait reverently
and motioned for Thoth and Anubis to join him.
"Quite
a sight, isn't it? Easy the most expensive
item in the collect, but it was worth every drachma. I took out four different insurance policies
just to be on the safe side. Not that I
think I'd need them, but you never know, especially at this school. Now then, let's start the tour. You'll notice the scent of pomegranates in
the air; they are Lady Hera sacred fruit, and I always keep a few scented
candles burning. Over to your right you
will see a tea set that Lady Hera once touched for exactly thirty seconds. Wouldn't it have been something to have been
there when it happened?"
Just then
Thoth and Anubis noticed something poking out of the tea pot. It was a tiny trunk and that could only mean
one thing: they'd finally found Haku!
Their elation was short-lived once they realized that they'd have to
snatch Haku from beneath the all-seeing eyes of Argus. Thoth ran through multiple scenarios in his
mind. His thoughts were moving faster
than the speed of light; a magnitude of possibilities stretched before
him. He had his answer in less than the
time it took to blink an eye.
"Mr.
Argus, that teapot is looking a bit dull.
However, if you'll allow me to borrow it for a minute, I think I have just
the spell to resort its shine good as new."
Argus
narrowed his eyes. "Well alright, but I've got my eyes on you."
"The
spell will cause the teapot to disappear, but don't worry, that's perfectly
normal. Rest assured, it will return to
you momentary. And now, I shall begin
the spell."
Thoth held
out the tea pot in his hand, and recited some random gibberish to act as a cue
for Athena. The seconds seemed to drag
on for an eternity as Thoth waited for Athena.
Then, without any fanfare, the teapot turned invisible. The whole office fell to dead silence; the
only sounds came from the ticking of clocks on the walls. Thoth hand felt like it was on fire as soon
as the tea pot returned to visibility.
The invisibility ring granted whoever wore it, and anything they held, total
immunity to the electromagnetic spectrum.
As a consequence, this meant that anyone, or anything, under the rings
power was completely immune to thermal radiation.
The teapot
was so burningly cold Thoth felt as though he was holding a piece of molten
magma. He instinctually let go of the
teapot, but not before whispering a quick fortification charm so that the
teapot didn't shatter into a million pieces.
Argus dove across the room and caught the teapot just before it touched
the ground. The vice principal held his
hands, and their eyes, as close to the teapot as possible. There was a steely look in all 100 of Argus
eyes as he searched for even the tiniest imperfection. Argus gave a nod of approval after inspecting
to his satisfaction.
"Admittedly,
a bit unorthodox, but I can't argue with results. Though I would work on that dexterity if I
were you."
Thoth was
about to respond when he felt something small and furry rubbing against his
leg. He didn't even have to look down to
know that it was Haku. The little baku
must have wiggled out of Athena's grasp.
Thoth tried to hid Haku behind his leg, but this inadvertently drew
Argus' attention.
"Say,
what have you got there?"
"Nothing! Nothing, it's just a...a leg exercise that I
do sometimes."
"You've
got something alright, let's see it."
"Ooh,
are those toffees? I love toffees! Can we have some toffees?" asked Anubis
in a desperate attempt to distract Argus.
"Those
toffees are strictly for..."
Suddenly,
Argus hunched over as if he'd just had the wind knock out of him. Before long the hundred-eyed giant of a man
had collapsed to the ground and was groaning pain. Athena faded into visibility and surveyed her
work with a satisfied grin.
"Crotch
shot, works every time."
Anubis
winced. "Girl, that is low!"
Athena
shrugged. "It gets the job done.
Now let's grab Haku and get out of here."
Thoth paused
to examine the scented candles. He had
to admit, they were certainly good quality candles, and such reasonable prices
as well. Unfortunately, Thoth failed to
notice that Haku was darting towards him, with Anubis in hot pursuit. Anubis slammed into Thoth before he had time
to react, and the candle went flying.
The candle soared so high it nearly touched the ceiling; then it arced
back down and slammed into the portrait of Mrs. Hera. Before long the portrait was completely consumed
by flames. Anubis tried to dowse the
inferno using water from a nearby flower pot but, owing to the chemical
composition of the oils in the paint, this only made the fire stronger.
It was as
the flames surged in strength that Argus regained consciousness. All 100 of his eyes stared in horror at the
burning portrait. Thoth cast a spell
that stripped the air around the portrait of its oxygen, thus extinguishing the
flames. However, there was nothing left
of the portrait except for a pile of ashes.
Argus rushed over to his desk phone and swiftly dialed the number for
his insurance agent.
"Hello,
insurance agent? A tragedy has occurred
and need you to give me money! Yes, that
is correct, my portrait of the Lady Hera.
It was completely destroyed in a fire...how did it happen, you ask? Well, it would appear that three deeply
disturbed miscreant hoodlum students of mine...what do you mean you're denying
my claim?! Fire damage is clearly
covered under...why yes, I am vice principal at Nile High, what of it? Acts of the Gods? Not covered under my policy? Look, I know there were three gods involved,
so I suppose that could be interpreted as an Act of the Gods. What I don't know, however, is why you're
taking so long to give me my money!
Hello? Hello? They hung up."
"Sir, I
know it looks bad, but I have just the spell to..."
"I
think you've done quite enough as it is.
But don’t worry, I'm sure we can work something out when I see you and
your girlfriend in detention for the next five months!"
"Detention! You can't do that us, we're heads of
dorm! Heads of dorm don't get
detention!" exclaimed Athena.
"I can
and I will. Oh, you can be assured of
that. It's one of the benefits of being
vice principal."
"Wait,"
said Anubis. "Thoth and Athena wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for
me. Let them go free; I'm the one who
deserves to be punished."
"Don't
worry, you'll get your punishment in due time, but the fact remains
that...wait, what are you doing? Put
that tea set down right now, or so help me..."
A mighty and
thunderous roar fill the room, and made everyone freeze in their tracks. Thoth, Athena and Anubis turned to see where
the roar had originated from. A wise and
ancient dragon stood in the doorway. He
looked like neither the dragons of Europe nor the dragons of East Asia, but
both of these at once. His eyes bore
many years of knowledge, but they also radiated warmth and happiness. He could be gentle and and easy going, but he
would fight tooth and claw to defend his students from harm. He was Mungu Joka, Principal of Nile High.
Principal
Joka was the god of a people living somewhere in East Africa; though nobody
could ever remember where specifically.
As soon as Principal Joka walked into the office he made a beeline for
the dish of toffees Argus kept on his desk.
He selected his toffee with the upmost of care, gently unwrapped it and
plopped the candy in his mouth. As
Principal Joka savored his sweet he quizzically titled his head at Argus and
the students.
"Well,
don't you want a toffee? I bet that you
do."
"Mr.
Principal, with all due respect, this is a very serious..." before Argus
had a chance to finish he found himself with a mouthful of toffee courtesy of
Principal Joka.
"Oh, I
agree, this is very serious indeed.
Seriously good, that is! Don't be
shy, there's plenty for everyone. Some
of Athena, some for Thoth and some for Anubis!
Okay, everyone have their toffees?
Good! Now let's chew our toffees
together! So much fun, our lips are
moving up and down, up and down. Well,
Thoth has a beak, but it is moving up and down, up and down. We savoring the flavor, the toffees are being
mashed into a pulp and isn't it glorious?
And we are still chewing, but soon it over and time to...swallow! Okay, has everybody eaten their
toffees?"
Everyone noded
their heads in agreement. Principal Joka
stroked his beard thoughtfully.
"Really,
are you sure? Come on, open up and let's
have a look. Hmm, hmm, indeed! You have all successfully eaten your toffees! Wasn't that fun? There's never a wrong time for something
sweet. Now then, why were the four of
you arguing so passionately when I got here?"
"They
burned my prized portrait of the Lady Hera!
Principal Joka, I strongly urge you to take theses vandals to your
office and have them expelled!"
"Hey,
we're not Vandals! I'm Egyptian, Thoth's
Egyptian and Athena's a Greek!"
"Not
those kind of Vandals," whispered Thoth.
"Well
maybe if you weren't such a thick-head jerk I wouldn't have had to sneak in
and..."
Principal
Joka tapped his claw against the toffee dish to get everyone's attention.
"So you snuck into Argus' office.
Now why would you do something like that?"
"We
were trying to catch the baku that Anubis was supposed to be petsitting for
Amaterasu. Anubis and Thoth were the
diversion while I caught Haku."
"I see,
and did you ask Argus for his help?"
"But he
wouldn't have..."
"Athena,
did you ask Argus for help?"
Athena
sighed. "No, I figured he would have just said no."
"Well,
if it's any consolation, you guessed correctly.
Also, I would have killed that little rat thing if I'd found it,"
Argus remarked.
"It
seems to me that you two still don't see eye-to-eye. There will be a day when this is not so. Oh yes, there will be, but not today I think. Now then, I think this portrait can be fixed
with a simple mending spell. Isn't that
correct, Thoth?"
"I'm on
it, sir!"
Thoth drew
the hieroglyphics for mending in the air in front of the portrait's ashes. Like a video being played in reverse, the
ashes rose from the floor and assembled themselves back together. Soon their vibrant colors began to return and
before long the portrait was just as it had been before. Argus stared at the portrait like an art
critic at a painting content. After five
minutes, he gave a nod and smiled with approval.
"My
darling! I'd thought I'd lost you
forever! Now that we are back together
nothing can ever part...um, right, are we done here? I need to go have a word with my insurance
agent."
"Hmm, I
don't know Argus. Are we truly done here?"
Everyone stared in confusion at the wise old dragon god. Principal Joka smiled and let out a hearty
laugh. "I'm just messing with you! Children, you try your best to stay out of
mischief. And you, Mr. Eye-Guy, you
gotta learn to be more compassionate to the students. You're all free to go!"
Thoth,
Athena and Anubis walked out of the office with their heads held high. Despite the numerous mishaps they’d finally caught
Haku. The little baku was curled up in a
pet carrier Athena had snagged while she was invisible. They were on top of the world and nothing
could bring them down. As they made
their way down the hall Thoth put his arm around Anubis.
"I want
you to know that I'm proud of you for what you did back there."
"Hey
man, it was nothing. You guys would have
done the same for me. Say, what time is
it?"
"There's
a water clock right over there," said Athena.
Anubis' eyes
bulged out of their sockets when he saw the clock. "Oh, shit! We gotta get to Japanese Dorm right
now!"
#
Tsukuyomi
closed the shoji screen doors while Amaterasu poured green tea. A large stack of tea cakes in the middle of
the table. It took all of Anubis'
willpower to resist grabbing one. Thoth
and Athena had given him a crash course in Japanese etiquette on the way to Japanese
Dorm. Tsukuyomi took his seat and gave
everyone a nod of encouragement. Anubis
gently lifted his teacup and took a few tentative sips. He wasn't the biggest tea drinker in the
world, but he had to admit the green tea wasn't half-bad. It tasted earthy with just a hint of either
lemon or mint.
Haku was
curled up in Amaterasu's lap. The
Japanese sun goddess gently stroked the little baku's fur. "Thank you so much, Anubis. I hope looking after Haku wasn't too
boring."
"Boring? Nah, I found ways to stay entertained,"
Anubis laughed as he glanced over at Thoth and Athena.
"Well,
you've certainly proved yourself to be a god of honor and good character. Such gods are most dreadfully hard to come
by. I should think that a job well done
merits a reward," said Tsukuyomi.
Tsukuyomi
clapped his hands and a large barrel was carried into the room by a team of
pure white foxes. The foxes bowed in
deference to Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi and the other assembled gods. Amaterasu gave a nod of encouragement and the
foxes sacked themselves to form a tower leading up the barrel's lid. The lead fox climbed atop its companions and
loosened the barrel's lid. Anubis peered
into the barrel and gazed upon his reward: a barrel's worth of rice.
"I
can't find it. Is the reward buried
under all of that rice?"
"Your
reward is that rice. It's the finest
rice in all of Japan. It comes directly
from the private rice paddies of our rice deity Inari," said Amaterasu.
Anubis
scooped some rice in his hand and poured it into his mouth. He did his best to smile, but that proved
somewhat difficult while simultaneously eating the uncooked rice. He took a swig of tea in hopes that it would
soften the rice, but to no avail. By now
Anubis was more than aware of just how much noise his rice crunching was
making. He glanced over at Tsukuyomi and
noticed that the moon god was twitching his hand. With a bit of effort, Anubis swallowed the
rice and bowed the way Thoth had shown him.
"Perhaps,
next time, it would be better to cook the rice first?" asked Tsukuyomi.
"Oh,
you're supposed to cook it before...but then how do you...nevermind. Well, uh, at least everything worked out in
the end."
Amaterasu
smiled. "That's a really good outlook.
Now all we have to do is finalize the paperwork and..."
Tsukuyomi
emitted a bloodcurdling scream as he gazed out at the Japanese Dorm common
room. Everyone immediately rushed over
to see what had distressed him. There
didn't seem to be anything obviously wrong, save for a bit of mud on the floor. Of course, to a god as OCD as Tsukuyomi, a
bit of mud was worthy of sounding the alarm.
Anubis felt sorry for the unfortunate deity who had ruined the floor;
then he looked over at the shoe locker. A sinking feeling of dread grew within
Anubis' stomach as he realized that he was the one who'd muddied the floor.
"My
floors! My beautiful clean floors have
been defiled! Who? Who would do such a terrible, terrible
thing?! Why would they have...you!"
Anubis
backed up nervously. "Now Tsuki, let's not do anything crazy here."
A silver
light extended from Tsukuyomi's hand until it formed the shape of a bow and
arrow. Tsukuyomi aimed the arrow
directly at Anubis. "Oh, I agree. For instance, it would be absolutely insane
if I were to let you go without proper punishment."
Twang! Anubis dove out of the way just barely in
time to avoid getting hit by the shimmering arrow. A new arrow began to form along the bow and
Tsukuyomi realigned his aim. Anubis
darted past a series of vases in hopes that Tsukuyomi wouldn't risk harming the
priceless works of art. Unfortunately,
almost all of the vases were destroyed by a volley of arrow, which only served
to make Tsukuyomi's anger burn even brighter.
Before long Anubis was making a mad dash for the dorm’s front door with
Tsukuyomi in hot pursuit.
"Get
back here! I really want to hurt
you!"
"Brother,
come back! Oh, why can't you just let it
go?" Amaterasu called as she chased after them.
"You
know, our lives would probably be a lot less chaotic if we just let Anubis
clean up his own messes," remarked Athena as she and Thoth joined the
chase.
"True,
but we wouldn't have nearly as many fun stories to tell."
"We
there is that, I suppose."
